Planned c section tomorrow & second baby guilt!!

[user1480264544]

So I have a planned c section tomorrow morning and have been so excited for the day I meet my second daughter but the guilt has kicked in and I'm an emotional wreck! My daughter is going to be away from me for a week and I can't stop crying!! Has anyone else felt like this?! I won't be abke to enjoy today because of this it's horrible I can hardly look at her 😭😪x

It might not be a whole week? I was gone from Wednesday morning until Friday afternoon with my elcs last month. Was still in a lot of pain but able to be home with my DS1. He had a day of not looking at me or the baby and then relented, sat on my lap and hasn't looked back. He is so sweet and gentle with his little brother now and happy as ever. Just make sure you find ways to cuddle your first daughter lots how old is she? It'll be fine. Try and remember although this bit might be difficult you are giving her a sibling which is wonderful x

I do understand though I threw up on the morning of my csection and just wanted to cancel it and keep life the same. It's hard having something booked in. At least when you go into labour you're distracted!

It feels daunting on your side of things but it will be ok!

DD was born 10 days ago by ELCS and I felt awful for leaving DS (not yet 2 years). I was constantly worried about how he was and if he'd cope with a new sibling.

Fortunately, everything went well. I was sent home in 24 hours rather than the expected 48 hours, so we weren't apart for too long. Do you know if it will definitely be a week in hospital or is there scope to go home earlier if you're both well?

Since coming home I've tried hard to spend time with both DC together and apart. It hasn't been easy - some days I've done a bit much leaving myself uncomfortable - but it is working. DS is taking it all in his stride, after some initial jealousy around breastfeeding (I'm tandem feeding so this has helped), he's taking more interest in her each day. He's also used to me not being able to lift him now and we've worked around it just fine.

If I'd known beforehand that things would work out like this I'd have saved myself a lot of worry!

Good luck for tomorrow

Well my in laws have offered to have my little one whilst in hospital and for a few days after aswell to give us time to settle in as she is an extremely active and extremely terrible two! lol she's not that bad but she loves attention like any toddler does. I just don't know what it is.. I feel like I know I'm doing the right thing she will have a sister to love and look after but I can't shift my guilt it's like she's been my best friend and it's always been me and her! Up until recently dad was working every hour under the sun which strained our relationship but she got me through it! I just hope she doesn't resent me for a while lol! I know it's hormones and I know all will be ok but it's like I'm watching the clock tick until my life changes so much it's a barrel of enotion!! I just hope it's normal to feel like this lol x

The guilt is totally normal!
I was overwhelmed when I had DS2. I felt so awful that DS1 was not getting the attention he had before.

This passed as I involved DS1 in as much as I could.
Now they are best friends. It's like I created a play mate for him.
Nothing compares to when they are playing together, making each other laugh & sharing. It's magical.

I felt the same with DC2 until DC1 visited us in hospital. I had the baby in a crib so DC1 would not be too jealous, she walked in, came towards me, saw the baby and changed direction straight for him. She spent all her time with her new brother, I didn't get a look in!

I also stayed in three nights for an ELCS, so not so long.

This is making me feel much better, I think it's probably my way of dealing with nerves. I've been really emotional with this pregnancy I'm looking forward to feeling normal again! I just keep looking at her.. she knows I'm upset as she keeps asking "what's wrong mummy" I don't want her to see me sad but I can't shift it lol I've got housework to do aswell which is making me feel bad as I'd like to spend the day solely with her 😩 Xx