Not finding out the sex

[newmumtobe86]

Anybody sick of people's reactions when they find out you're not finding out the sex?

I never really got any reactions. I think it's quite common not to find out. Is it your first?

It's definitely more uncommon these days not to find out the sex.
I think lots of people think of the 20 weeks scan as the "sex scan" rather than the anomaly scan now. However, people give allll sorts of unwanted opinions to you during pregnancy. I got so fed up of people butting in with every little details that I just stopped listening!

Your pregnancy, your choice! It's nice to have a surprise on the day!!

I haven't found out, most people say it's nice to have a surprise. The only thing that's slightly annoying now is the 'That's a girl bump' 'deffo a boy in there looking at that bump' comments, but it's one of those things people say to make friendly convo so I can't get too bothered by it!

Ive never found out the sex of my children and the main thing ive noticed with other people is they dont believe you when you say its a surprise , they seem to think we must know but are not telling so try and badger us into telling them , also not much unisex baby clothes about , i really wanted some lemon and mint plain sleepsuits and vests but could only find white and grey or ones with garish designs

Oh yes, it's either shock or horror

I find it tempting as it is to find out without all the "oh but you cant get organised or buy pink or blue stuff. There's not much lemon stuff out you know"

Well Pee Off!

"Ooooo it'll be a surprise then!" ... "well as long as it's healthy that's all that matters I suppose" and "you're definitely carrying as if it's a girl" are my favourite responses. Each gets met with a glazed smile/ gritted teeth from me!

I haven't found out with either of mine and don't remember people being surprised. They mostly just say that they wouldn't be able to wait or ask if I have a preference.

Yes, it amuses me that some people view it as a minor inconvenience that they don't know whether to buy blue or pink! "Oh Mothercare has a sale on, if only I knew what colour to buy I could have got some bargains" well thanks for your generosity, how about unisex if you are desperate to buy something right now, we don't actually know either 😀

General reactions to me saying I'm not finding out the sex has been "excellent that's the best way!" 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm American, and it's really uncommon over there for people to not find out, so my friends and family back home are usually a bit bewildered.

I haven't gotten any daft comments here in the UK. People I talk to typically have an opinion, but are respectful of our decision not to find out (even if they chose to find out).

Quite normal for people to not find out round here, but I don't think you should be surprised that people should then ask what you think it is etc they're just making conversation , the same they would do with (sometimes) annoying responses to those who do know the gender: 'oooo one of each is nice'; 'is your DS sad about not having a brother...'
Personally I reserve my if not shocked then bemused for people who know, but choose not to tell to 'keep the surprise': I don't flipping care what sex your baby is, it really isn't the event of the century that I'm eagerly awaiting and - no - I wouldn't rush out and buy pink if I knew it was a girl....but that's just me...

Read 'bemused face' - should preview my posts after zero sleep...

I loved how all the medical staff were clearly quite pleased!

I'm also fed up with the 'It's definitely a boy' comments. I reply with 'well, as I said, we haven't found out so we'll see'. Only to get 'no, no, i can tell you, it's a boy'.

Well thanks. If I wanted to know, I would probably have just asked my doctor as opposed to relying on random people's comments... !

My personal favourite (I did find out) was the look of self satisfaction on several people's faces: 'I knew it was a girl'. Well done you on basically flipping a coin.
I find the whole baby's sex obsession rather weird to be honest, whether you find out or not, but I guess it fills out the idea of a person for people so. ...

Haha @oeufdepaques I'm with you on that one! We had a friend (who is a mental health nurse) confidently tell us in front of our other friends that through work she knows how to interpret ultrasound scans and then very confidently and persistently continued to tell us that we are most definitely having a boy... from our 12 week scan taken at 11+4! 😂 I didn't want to embarrass her so I refrained from observing through my own experience as a health professional that at that stage our baby had not even grown any girl or boy bits to see. Said friend knew it was the 12 week pic and still stuck to their guns. I'm now 29 weeks and we've still not found out so only time will tell whether she was able to prophetically see a penis before it had materialised! 🙈🙈🙈

I've mostly only had positive reactions to telling people we're not finding out the sex. But 8 out of 10 of my friends and colleagues who've had babies in the last couple of years haven't found out either, or have found out but kept it secret until after the birth, so maybe it's the norm in my social circle.

We didn't find out and had a baby girl on Monday. We got nothing but positive reactions to not finding out from friends, family and every health professional I met along the way.

We got the odd comment like "I don't know how you resisted finding out" and a lot of people guessing girl/boy but I didn't mind at all. Most people guessed boy so were completely wrong anyway! They even ran a weight/sex sweepstake at work.

We didn't find out with ds but we did with dd. I had a few people tell me not to believe it because it's always wrong (fruit loops).
I'm glad I found out with dd though only because I had pnd after ds and didn't quite bond and didn't feel like i was really pregnant (not saying that's way just I feel it may have helped prepare me). Plus my father passed away 6 weeks before dd was born and she was going to be the 1st girl born in 33 years so he at least knew before he passed. Sentimental I know.

Most people I know around here didn't find out for their first, but a few did for their second, and all those having a third that I know did find out. It was much more practical for the third as they had all the stuff and wanted to sort it out/get more if needed. I couldn't imagine finding out, but likewise I know some people can't imagine not knowing.