I'm worried about PND

[wingingitmostdays]

Evening all,

I'm just entering my second trimester; it's been quite an anxious time since I found out I was pregnant as I've had two miscarriages since having DD a few years ago.

When I had DD I suffered from PND but kept denying it, saying "surely I'd know if I was depressed", but looking back I definitely was. My maternity leave was a complete struggle and I feel really sad thinking of that time.

I am already getting really worried that I'll suffer again and am starting to not look forward to having baby who is cery much wanted, in case I feel the same again.

Is this normal?

I really appreciate any help / advice.

Looking back I was definitely depressed with my first. I was a bit anxious with my second but not depressed at all. I think the fact I had the elder one to keep me in a routine and get me out the house helped.
Tell your midwife your concerns. Find out what support there would be IF you feel the same way. And good luck. You may not!

I suffered terribly with PND and intrusive thoughts after my first. I am 29 weeks with my second and although I feel worried about it happening again, this time I know it will end, it will get easier and have had some CBT to help with the thoughts.
You are a surviver of PND therefore you are strong and forewarned is forearmed. I for example was worst about 4months postpartum when my parents went away (husband works long shifts) so I have asked them not to go on a three week holiday until the baby is 5months.
We are wiser, we know we can get through it... We know it doesn't last forever! PM me anytime if you need a friend!

Thank you for replying Wolfiefan.

I spoke to my midwife at my booking in appointment and she said that they'd keep an eye out after to make sure I was ok.

I feel a little vulnerable but I guess that's to be expected after everything and the changes that are coming.

My DD will be at pre school so I'll have to leave the house and see people, so hopefully like you, that will help.

Mustard thank you for replying and being so open. I often lurk on here at AIBU for the giggles but very rarely post so have no idea how to PM you unfortunately.

Your words have really opened my eyes, I am strong.

We have very little support (unless it's paid) but last time I also didn't have a car, this time I will. I hope that helps me too.

Golden, I have thought this myself. I have felt really poorly with this pregnancy and can't help but think of the losses since my DD and also how I felt after having her. I'm hoping I'll start feeling a bit better soon and will be able to focus on the positives.

This pregnancy is so wanted, I hate feeling this way; I should be enjoying it, not worrying about the it's and maybes.

The car will make a huge difference. You won't feel isolated. And just dropping off at pre school and actually speaking to another adult will also help. Well it did me! Good luck OP.

I'm quite worried I might have post natal depression now. I'm
About 5/6 weeks pregnant. Came as a huge shock as thought the coil was in place. Turns out it had come out. Been back and too at the EPU, they are happy everything as should be and don't want to see me again. Last two weeks, this week especially one found my anxiety and stress worsening. Over nothing. I worry about anything and everything. My partner can do nothing right everything he does upsets me and he's trying to be nice. I hate myself for feeling like this,and feel guilty for my baby getting myself so wound up. I don't think he understands how bad I feel, he just brushes it off saying I'm hungry or it's just hormones. I feel worthless and hopeless, don't want to speak to anyone and think what is the point. Most expectant mothers are happy, I don't deserve a baby feeling like this. I don't remember feeling like this with my first, although that was a very long time ago and I only found out I was pregnant. Is this normal? Is
Something wrong with me? Will I feel better? And now I'm worried sick I will feel like this when the baby is born. I have only spoke to one friend about how I'm feeling, and I feel guilty for burdening all this on her

Sorry with my first I found out at 20 weeks so didn't have al this worry or even know I was pregnant!

Of course it's normal. However because you have suffered before it makes it easier to recognise the signs and get help straight away. As soon as I started to feel the 'black cloud' coming I went doctors. Try and not dwell on it just now and just think if it happens it happens and you will be fine and recognise it a lot quicker.

Thank you for your reply. It's just hard my partner says stop stressing. Like I hadn't thought of just stopping. I wish it were that easy. I think I'm going to go the GP on Monday because I can't continue like this