6 mons preg & found out bf has cheated

[user1495004135]

Hi All,

I need some advice. Found out I was pregnant in Feb, bf and me were over the moon. We went away for his bday 2 weeks later ( bearing in mind this is my 1st pregnancy, I didn't know how to cope with all the sickness, tiredness and hormones) and we argued a lot. Came home things were tense and he went away for work just after the 1st scan. While out there, we still argued and one day he turned around and said he didn't love me anymore and wanted to finish it. He said he still wanted to be in baby's life just not with me. After weeks off questioning what I did wrong, I found out he was sleeping with someone. I outted him on a whatapp group that included him, his mum, sister and dad. He eventually had to admit it and claims it was a fling with a client ( which I do half believe). Rightly or wrongly I told him I went for a drink with someone when we were on a break the previous year, I didn't, I wanted to see his reaction to see if there was love still there. There defo is but he's gone off on one about how he can't trust me. I'm no idiot, I know his hanging on too that to deflect from what he's done, but my biggest battle is this. I still love him and would take him back. We have a little born coming in October and it breaks my heart to think we won't be a family. My dad and 1 sister think I should fight for it, fight for my family but my mum and other sister think I shouldn't lower myself, they say I'm strong enough to do this on my own. I'm not scared to do it on my own but it's not how I wanted it to be.

I'm so confused and I know I'm not thinking rationally so could really do with some advice?
Thanks for reading xxx

I think it might be of benefit to have this post moved to relationships. For what it's worth I think I'd walk away, the trust would be gone and I couldn't live constantly wondering if he was cheating.

What a horrible situation OP. Awful to happen at any time but especially when you are pregnant.

My main concern with this, aside from the fact that he A - cheated on you, B - while you are PREGNANT is that life with a new baby can be tough on the most stable and trusting of relationships - if there is already a problem then I can't see it ending well.

Concentrate on yourself and your baby OP - your BF doesn't sound like he ish committed to you or your baby.

Don't bother with the bf he isn't interested and has told you he doesn't love you and us seeing someone else. Focus on being a single mum. Hope your family will support.

Given you and bf seem to frequently break up it qas never going to be a stable relationship to have a child in

Cheating on you while you are pregnant is the lowest of the low. Get out now.

'Fighting for your relationship' sounds like code for humiliating yourself to try and win someone back who has walked away claiming to no longer love you.

I agree with sleep - fighting for your relationship sounds a bit like doing the 'pick me' dance.

www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-schorn/the-humiliating-dance-of-_b_2330929.html

There are loads of threads on this over on Relationships that you might find helpful...

Good luck OP - it is better to be on your own than to waste time on someone who doesn't love and value you.

Don't look back. You can do infinetly better than someone who treats you like that. Concentrate on being a single mum, getting things prepared for your baby and let all his negatively wash over you. You don't need it, especially not at this time in your life.

Im with someone who cheated in first pregnancy with same person over and over again and few months ago again and now pregnant its not worth the stress you dont need anyone if theyre goingy act like that better off stress free and think about the baby not some idiot whos no respect

You don't need to do anything at the moment other than make arrangements for your baby. He will need to see the child (for the baby's sake) and he will need to pay some sort of maintenance. It's good that he wants to be involved in the child's life, but it would be wise to establish what that means in terms of both time and money.
You have plenty of time to work out how you feel about a relationship with this man later, it's not like you won't have regular contact with him.
So yes, you need to be able to have a civil relationship with him for the next 18 years, for your child. But I don't think this is the time to be making long term plans.

If you terminated the relationship would all your close family be on hand to offer support and practical help, ie your dad, BOTH sisters, and your mum?

Because I think your relationship is pretty kaput by the sounds of it.