Pregnant

[Aprilbaby4]

Hello I am just wondering if anyone can help give me a little advice. I have just recently taken a pregnancy test and it was positive. I am in my early 30s, been with my hubby for 16 yrs and have 3 beautiful children together. It was a shock to say the least as it was unplanned. I thought our family was complete but I am one of those people who thinks everything happens for a reason. I told my husband and he was in complete shock. I was shocked too and cried. He just didn't believe it. He saw the tests but went and bought another just to be sure. When we had our last child 6 yrs ago I asked him if he would have a vasectomy. He was talking about it to a friend who had it done and they said it was painful so he made every excuse not to do it. I don't take the pill because it doesn't agree with me. So we have used other methods of contraception ( condoms) which have worked very well until now! He didn't really speak to me yesterday as he was still in shock I guess. Luckily I have a very strong relationship with my mum and told her. She was very supportive. Then today after work he came home and said he had been looking into having a vasectomy ( I mean seriously, it's a bit late now!) then he said we have to think about what we need to do as its not even a baby yet.😔 We are too old and we don't have a big enough house (3 bed semi) we won't be able to drive anywhere in our 5 seater car. Child will be in late teens when we are in 50s etc. he basically said he thinks I should get an abortion. I am so shocked. I never thought he would think like that. Yes all the things he said are true, but so what! People have kids in their early/ late 30s all the time and some already have a few children. I just don't want to think about it but he wants to have a talk. I'm scared he will talk me into doing something I don't want to do and make me feel bad so I dont feel like i have a choice. He provides for us all with everything so I get why he is worried. Has anyone been in this situation. Has anyone had a unplanned pregnancy in their 30s and already have children. I'm sorry for going on, I'm just really confused right now. I would be so grateful for any advice. Thanks x

First time pregnant, but didn't want to read and vanish. A friend has four kids, the last was a complete surprise - but he turned out to be the best thing for all five of them as he is such a bundle of fun and adored by his older siblings and idolises them back. It turned their world around at the time but reflecting twelve years later and he was the perfect addition to their lives.

I would make it clear to him that you are having the baby, and if he wants a vasectomy to go ahead.

He sounds like he is being a total manchild. Early to late 30s is a perfectly normal time to have babies.

You will manage, people do. Needing a bigger car is no reason to abort. Loads of kids share bedrooms.

You will only resent him if he pushes you towards a termination. I would totally support you if you didnt want the baby, but no woman should be talked into an abortion. I was, and I hated the prick in question for forcing me into it.

I'm 3 and expecting DC2. I was 36 when DC1 arrived. Late 30s isn't top older to be a parent. Although I think I would be less knackered if I was in my 20s!

That should read 38 not 3.