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Original poster

Advice for two under 18-months

20 replies

user1492365675 · 11/07/2017 17:18

I have a gorgeous 8-month-old daughter and just found out I'm 5-weeks pregnant. I'm happy but really shocked as we weren't planning for a second baby for a while!

Any practical advice on how to cope with two under 18-months?? I keep veering between excitement and then sheer panic.

Thanks!

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PhilippeFlop · 15/07/2017 13:10

Hi user

There is 12 months between my DCs and I remember going from excited to panicking A LOT!

I found it a lot easier than I was expecting to be honest but DC2 was such an easy baby.

My one tip would be to get your eldest into a good routine if you haven't already.

Also, do your research well into double pushchairs, I wish I had done this instead of going for a bargain. The icandy orange looks amazing and I wish I was out when I bought mine.

Good luck Smile

Original poster
user1492365675 · 17/07/2017 06:38

Thank you!

OP posts:
Sittingintheshade · 17/07/2017 08:41

Hey I'm in the same boat with a 5 month old and just got a positive test. We wanted a second but we're going to wait a bit before trying.....

Am freaking out, how will I manage 2???? But then look at my gorgeous baby and get excited

Are people going to judge me? I'm dreading telling work 🙁

Sittingintheshade · 17/07/2017 08:42

*were not we're

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 17/07/2017 08:47

I had a slightly bigger gap at 21 months. The advantages were that they both slept during the day. Also, my older one was very happy to snuggle on the sofa with me and read books whilst I bf the younger one.

Tbh, I found it a lot easier the second time round as I knew what I was doing. I went back to work when ds was 6 months and that was fine as well.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

toadierocks · 17/07/2017 08:47

Yep I'm 19 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and they'll be just under 15 months between 2 and 3. I feel quite anxious but number 2 is a good sausage and sleeps well so going to try and nail the routine down and get him into a toddler bed asap. he has 4 1/2 months to vacate the cot lol!

Think that's got me is peoples reaction, I've got a lot of ''oh my goodness, you're mad'' type responses. At the end of the day, I'm very happy, we wanted a 3rd ( albeit a bit quicker than expected) and it's happening now, just wish people would be a bit more supportive but I guess all across pregnancy people say daft things don't they.

When is everyone due?

Sittingintheshade · 17/07/2017 08:55

I've just got my bfp so think due date would be around 21st March

Original poster
user1492365675 · 17/07/2017 09:00

Congratulations on your pregnancies!

I'm in exactly the same boat - really happy but apprehensive about telling work and peoples' reactions.

Getting a good routine before they arrive seems key.

Due in mid March. You?

OP posts:
Sittingintheshade · 17/07/2017 09:06

Congratulations!

5mo is getting into a routine on his own really, we've been so lucky with him - he's a very laid back wee soul. Lulling is into a false sense of security! 😂

I know my family will think I'm nuts
Hopefully they'll be excited too though

I just don't like to think of them thinking I've been careless. It was such a shock

PhilippeFlop · 17/07/2017 09:44

I dreaded telling people too, especially as I had such a tough time with DS.

I was well and truly fed up with the "you're going to have your hands full" comment by the end of my 2nd pregnancy! 🙈

Another tip I have is if you can make friends with other mums with similar age gaps, it makes things easier as they understand the madness.

Congratulations on your BFP sitting

DoubleCarrick · 17/07/2017 09:47

I have a six month old and am 11 weeks pregnant! There will be 13 months between mine. Due Feb.

I'm really not looking forward to telling people and am terrified about the chaos but can't wait at the same time!

We've just upgraded our car for a bigger one as my Micra wouldn't cut it any more!

PhilippeFlop · 17/07/2017 09:51

To be honest, everyone took it well when we announced our 2nd pregnancy, my mum burst out laughing Grin

We had to upgrade the car too, bye bye lovely sporty car, hello boring estate!

Sittingintheshade · 17/07/2017 10:17

Thank you phillipe

I told folk quite early with ds but think we'll keep quiet for a bit on this one

I have a good friend who has 3 under 3 so she'll understand!

I've done 2 tests and still thinking it can't possibly be true!

PhilippeFlop · 17/07/2017 10:48

Ahh sitting it's a crazy feeling isn't it?

My DCs are 2 and 1 now and it's all good fun. We've had no jealousy issues due to them being so close together and they play so well together (although sometimes I find myself being a wrestling referee!)

Is your partner supportive and helpful?

Sittingintheshade · 17/07/2017 10:56

Yeah he's amazing, he's definitely a glass half full type, total opposite of me!

We didn't want a huge gap but wasn't expecting this! Glad to hear yours play well together, I hoe that will be the case here too. Do you have one of each or two the same?

PhilippeFlop · 17/07/2017 11:24

It makes such a difference when you have a good partner Smile

I have one of each, they are complete opposites in every way, crazy how siblings can be so different!

Sittingintheshade · 18/07/2017 20:21

I definitely couldn't do this without him Philippe
How did you tell folk? I wasn't planning on such a small gap and am dreading people asking if it was a mistake etc

I clicked on another thread about small age gaps and pretty much everyone said 'don't do it'. Now freaking out even more and worrying about birth etc so much i feel sick. Though that may just be morning (all-day) sickness

PhilippeFlop · 19/07/2017 08:02

We told close family and friends early on as my sickness was terrible and I needed support with DS. We then annouced it on SM, everyone was nice about it, we had a few "do you not have a tv?" Comments!

I wouldn't have such a small age gap again because of the guilt I feel about sharing my time. They are also both at a really difficult stages and I am struggling at the minute but when the goings good, it is amazing. The hard work is all worth it.

My first birth was horrific and I was really worried about doing it again but I had a lovely experience second time around. No two births are the same but if you have worries, make sure you voice them to your midwife. I was referred to a consultant who really put my mind at rest, I felt much more prepared.

Sittingintheshade · 19/07/2017 09:44

I'm definitely worried that I won't have enough time and feel bad that I won't solely have ds to focus on. I don't want to neglect him 😢 But both my family and inlaws are helpful and involved. I wanted to do it all on my own with ds so was reluctant to accept help but think that will be different this time. We might put him in nursery for an afternoon too, he was going to be going a couple of days a week when I went back to work.

Do you think you'll have any more kids? What are you struggling with atm (if you don't mind me asking?)

I had a failed induction and emcs with ds so worrying about that too. I'd really like to speak to someone about it but booking in appt will be in around 3 weeks

YoureNotASausage · 19/07/2017 09:52

I had an 18 mth gap between #1 and #2, then 15 mths between #2 and #3. Now I'm being really sensible with 24 mths between #3 and #4.

My first two were fine, pretty easy to manage together. Adding a third was really tough! Don't know yet about the 4th. But I haven't felt anyone hasn't had enough time or attention from me. The baby gets you all night and after bedtime for serious 1 on 1. The older child got my attention during the day when baby slept on and off for the first 6 months then just did what we did and went where we went. First 6 weeks is a bit chaotic but it settles down.

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