Feeling low at 23 weeks

[User24689]

Hi everyone, I'm 23 weeks pregnant and for about 3 weeks I've been feeling really bad.

I'm not really sure what has triggered it as nothing major has gone wrong or changed. I have suffered from depression and anxiety in the past but not for a long time now. Baby was planned and I was really happy to fall pregnant.

I just feel completely lacking in motivation and I have found that my sense of humour has disappeared. I realised today that I can't remember the last time I found something funny, I know that sounds weird. I also find myself getting very easily frustrated and impatient. Some days I have felt angry from waking to going to bed. I have a 23 month old daughter and I feel terrible that I'm letting her down because I just can't find the energy to do interesting things with her and I'm getting frustrated with her when I am usually really patient. I have shouted at her a couple of times this week and have never ever done that before.

Could this be hormones? I have taken antidepressants in the past but if it is pregnancy related there doesn't seem to be any point in that because I know they usually take a few months to kick in.

Has anyone else felt this way in pregnancy? Is it a thing? I feel like a terrible mum and like I won't cope with another child

If this is a consistent low mood then you probably should flag it with your midwife. They may not advise anti-d's anyway, but at least you then get on board with perinatal mental health, which might prove useful should this slide into PND.

From my experience, at 25 weeks, I am up and down. Today is a reeally bad mood day and I have days, like you say, when I am angry from start to finish. This morning, I shouted at my other half because I had had little sleep, woke up feeling sick, and he'd lost my bag (don't ask). My 5 year old was cowering in the corner (with Dad saying 'mama's just a bit upset') and I felt like the shittest mum in the world, even though it lasted a minute- and STILL do. Dragging myself to work wasn't fun and I nearly cried several times on the tube. But these are few are far between thankfully. Some days I'm pretty on top of the world and most days I feel good.

If you have a toddler, though, you are really pushing yourself, in terms of emotional and physical resources, although you may not realise it. How often do you get time for yourself? How often do you find space for yourself? It might be a simple question of finding a way - somehow - of getting yourself a break. Even if you think you get this kind of space - maybe you need some more for a bit?

I really feel for you. I couldn't feel like this every day.

And - of course - you're not a terrible mum. I hope that goes without saying. You're pregnant and struggling a bit - is all.

Thank you so much for your reply! It's good to know that you have also felt the anger! I know some people get that feeling around their period but I've never had that - I wondered if it could be hormonal. I will take your advice and speak to my midwife.

I don't get much 'me' time you're right - we live in Australia and family are in UK so not much support network and I work 3 days a week so feel like there's a lot to balance. By the time I get to my thurs/ Fri off with DD I'm exhausted and have little energy for inventive activities! She's lovely but very intense (as are all toddlers I suppose!) and seems to demand so much of me compared to DH. I find myself getting Furious that she will leave him to busy himself with whatever he wants and yet if I try to sit down for 2 mins with a cup of tea she is trying to climb on me / inspect the tea/ bring me dolls to put clothes on. She will literally leave a room she is in with DH to wander the house calling for me to do something he could have done! I think it's just a clingy phase but it's exhausting. DH is great with her and does try hard to give me breaks but don't think he has any idea how wearing life is from my perspective right now. I find myself regularly getting tearful in the car when I've dropped DD off at care, like the moment I'm on my own makes it all just come out.

Sorry this reply turned into a bit of a rant!

I could have written this!

I think it's anxiety that is causing me to be, frankly, a bit of an arse hole. I have a hobby that involves me needing time alone and it helps, I'd be an emotion wreck with out gentle exercise and time to clear my head, usually only 2-3 times a week but I feel it helps.

I feel I should be doing exciting things but there are times I have put the toddler in his cot with an audio CD, some toys and a box of raisins and just gone for half an hours nap.

If it carries on after birth I'm going to raise it with the Doctor and see if I can be medicated. But as it's not all the time and I do have a lot of good days too I'm holding off.