I'm 8 weeks and have not stopped crying. I have nobody to talk to.

[Roseviolet]

I don't know why I'm posting here I know people are going to think I'm awful but I'm struggling so much. Since I found out I'm pregnant I'm just gone on a downward spiral into the world of depression and anxiety. The pregnancy was a major shock and I don't think I can face it. I have a little girl who is 1 and she is our world. When I was pregnant with her the pregnancy was horrific I had severe sickness, was rushed to hospital at 31 weeks bleeding and put on complete bed rest but she still had to come at 32 weeks and spent the first month of her life in nicu. It was heartbreaking I then developed post natal depression and as life was just getting to some bit of normality I find out I'm pregnant. I am riddled with guilt as I feel my little lady deserves more time with us and the thoughts of not being able to give her the attention she is getting now breaks my hear it feels like I'm loosing her. My partner is happy about the baby but our house is totally miserable now as I just can't stop crying he suggested getting an abortion but I couldn't face that either. If this pregnancy is like my last one I just won't be able to cope with it. I went to my gp but I'm getting no support really. FYI precautions were used just weren't effective.

So sorry you feel like this Rose! Given what you have experienced with your first pregnancy it seems totally understandable.

I would go back to your GP and directly ask for a referral for some counseling services. Or ask your midwife what services she could refer you to. You are not the only one to have felt this way during a pregnancy. Good luck x

You poor thing Have you had your midwife booking appointment yet? They asked me about my mental health then and they are supposed to be very hot on pre-natal depression or just generally ensuring mums who need the extra support get it. After what you've been through plus all those hormones, must be playing havoc for you. You don't have to go through this alone and I'm sure your entitled to some support. Push harder at your GP or make sure you impress this upon your midwife at your booking appointment.

It sounds like you are still suffering from PND - what treatment are you receiving? Are you on anti-depressants or getting counselling? It sounds like you may need more support. I had only just really recovered from PND when I found that I was pregnant again - I can't imagine how hard it would have been if I had still had PND at the time.

Is there any known reason that your dd came early? Just wondering if there's any reason to think that it might happen again? If not, I would just say that every pregnancy is different and you may not be nearly so unwell this time. I was horribly ill with my first pregnancy but (early days) so far my second pregnancy has been much easier. Ds was also premature but I'm hoping that means that I will be very carefully monitored this time around, as you should be.

I was seeing a mental health expert in my local hospital and on 20mg lexapro but when I refused to take more antidepressants she basically told me there was no more she could do for me. I refused to see her again and now I'm being told that if I want help she is the only person I can go to which makes me feel worse. I haven't had any midwife appointments yet. They didn't give me an exact reason why the last pregnancy went so bad or why the bleeding started etc.