Help!!! 4.5 month old baby and just found out I'm pregnant!!!

[user1493581567]

Just as the title says, I'm in complete shock. My lo is just 4.5 months, we are renting and I've just found out i'm pregnant. To say I'm shocked would be a total understatement.

I'm so scared of how I'm going to cope. Breastfeeding was really a disaster with my LO and we only managed expressing a few weeks but are in a nice routine now. They are going to be 13months apart...I don't have much family support at all and this is a massive curveball and I'm totally shellshocked and panicked how I'll cope.

Anyone any words of encouragement or advice?

You're not the first, and you won't be the last.
It will be hard work, but as soon as you give birth, you wouldn't have it any other way.

Congratulations.

My boyfriend and his sister are 1 year 1 day apart. His mum ended up a single mum yet managed to study and forge a new career when they were little.

You will manage better than you think!

Congratulations!

15 months between 2 of mine. I was shocked to say the least! We don't have family support but we manage (and do manage) fine! It helps that DH and I are supportive of each other and tend to work well dividing childcare, cleaning etc.
It can't have been that bad seeing as we are expecting our 4th and will have 3 under 3!
What has your other half said?

Congratulations... you will be fine

14 months between my oldest 2 (biggest gap is the 28 months 2 days between 3 & 4) . In many ways it's actually easier,they get on to a similar routine fairly quickly & if you're lucky you can get at least 1 or maybe 2 naps a day that coincide.

It seems far far more daunting than it really is.

I agree with pp, you aren't the 1st & you won't be the last.

Op the aim will
Be to get coordinated naptimes!

You'll be OK and the chances are they'llbe friends. Mine are just under 18m apart. The first year was the hardest. Now, it's great, so many lessons either both are in or they are successive, shared friends, etc.

13 months between my first 2 and we planned it that way. To be honest it has lots of advantages. You will get some naps when your baby is sleeping while pregnant. When the baby arrives most days you should manage to get some rest as your toddler and baby will need naps too. I won't lie to you, it's not always easy but now they are nearly 3 and 4 it's getting easier. They are great friends and occupy each other. I never have to worry about play dates etc even though they are a boy and girl.

My first 2 are 1year and 10 days apart - it can be done!
Congratulations!

I'll not lie, the first 2 years were tough and I have wondered whether twins would have been easier or harder at times (it was like having a big and little baby at the same time - DS2 was premature).
However, they are very very close now (aged 14 and 13) and DS2 is taller than DS1

My mum had some with that age gap (3 in a row sxfuslly, 3 under 3) and some with a larger age gap, she said the smaller gap is much easier because they can do the same things at the same time. Plus the younger sibling often likes to copy the older one and will pick things up faster than the older one did...sometimes anyway.
You'll be able to do the same baby/toddler groups with them, instead of going to two. School drop offs will be much easier. Only 1 year of dropping to two different places, instead of 2+ years like other people.
Honestly, if I hadn't had an EMCS I would have had planned a very small gap between mine too. It's easier in so many ways. Daunting of course, but has many plus points.
Everybody I know with small gaps love it too.
You'll be fine!! You'll adjust to it, just like you adjusted to life with 1.

12 months between mine ! Eldest wasn't walking. The hardest thing was the guilt had when pregnant - think prob hormonal .this went instantly baby was born as the love for both equally just happened !

The eldest just accepted the bAby as only really one himself . We got straight back into groups / swimming lessons and our usual stuff so new baby just slotted in .
I loved it !
Mid teens now and far trickier

Congratulations! Mine are just under 14 months apart (youngest is now 5 months). The first few months are tough but it definitely gets much easier when the four of you get in a routine. In terms of advice I would say

1. first three months don't panic about housework, distracting the toddler with food/ tv when necessary. This does get less and less as time goes on so don't panic that they will end up addicted to the tablet! 2)set one on one time with toddler- aim for 10 mins a day at first and then maybe a park trip or something at the weekend. More for you're own sanity/ mum guilt!
2. mornings will take ages for a while, no matter how organised you think you are/ try to be. i have separate changing bags for each child and try to make sure there stocked the night before so if the morning is awful I can just shove them both in the buggy and go grab a tea and get some fresh air

Next few points are just from personal experience so may not be at all relevant but just in case:

• most toddler classes allow baby siblings in for free. I bought the bouncer and places like hartbeeps or monkey music let them just sit in and watch/ sleep. I found it easier than playgroups as I was sat in the same place, baby was usually pretty content as there was loads going on and toddler was entertained and felt like I was doing something with her

• please don't feel too guilty about your toddler's experience. There is nothing I can say to stop you feeling guilty, at 13/14 months they are still very much babies themselves and hard to entertain/ understand the circumstances. Again this does get better, I can genuinely say that I don't think our daughter remembers when our son wasn't here. She does still get jealous occasionally but she adores him and I love seeing their relationship develop.

Any age gap is going to have it's own specific challenges, this age gap I find is very physically demanding with the lifting/ chasing etc but equally we haven't reached toilet training or full on tantrum mode yet.

It's great fun... Some days will be awful, others you will feel like super mum- but that's often how it is with one anyway.

Good luck!

I've got 2 babies 10 months apart, it's not as bad as what people say, I found it quite easy actually, my youngest is so advanced because he wants to do what he's sister does, he was walking at 10months & they love playing with each other, they both get along so well, & my oldest is so careful with other children because of having a baby brother, but don't worry yourself about it, it's not hard at all x

My sister has 11 months between her boys. It couldn't have been that bad because she had ds3 when ds2 was just two!

I have two minutes between mine. While it was hard pretty awful I survived. You will too

Currently preggers with twins and I have a one year old so I know what you're going through! I'm honestly terrified as well on how I'm going to cope with 3 babies but the truth is you really can't predict how you'll cope with things until they happen xx

My two were born 20 months apart ( boy and girl )and while it was hard work they were so close to each other. Now almost 40 years later they are still close and it's lovely to see.