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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Will they tie my tubes at 27?

15 replies

EdgeOfGlory266 · 05/07/2017 21:59

Hi! Basically that really. 👆

I'm pregnant with my second and since my husband and I were teenagers, we've always said we only want 2 children. We have never changed that and never even pondered having more. We are both quite happy for me to have it done. I'm just worried they won't do it for me. Who would I even approach about it? I'll be having a c section so it would be ideal to do it whilst they're in there. Shall I mention it to my GP or midwife or my consultant that I'm seeing on Friday? Will they tell me I'm too young? I hate being on the pill. My memory is too poor to remember to take it. I had a cool fitted after my first and it for lost inside me and I had to have a small procedure to remove it and the idea of the implant really freaks me out.

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Original poster

EdgeOfGlory266 · 05/07/2017 22:01

Coil fitted**

OP posts:

LumpySpaceCow · 06/07/2017 06:11

I don't think they are keen on doing it as people do change their mind in the future and they do ask you to consider what would happen if something happened to this baby. People do have it done though so it's worth a chat with the consultant.

Original poster

EdgeOfGlory266 · 06/07/2017 07:41

I don't understand that whole "What if something happened to your baby" thing. You can't replace a child.
I'll bring it up with her. I know for definite I don't wany more than 2.

OP posts:

scaevola · 06/07/2017 07:53

If you want to 'understand it', as far as anyone who has not been bereaved can, I suggest you look at the various Rainbow Babies threads. It's not about a replacement, never can be. But sometimes, when life changes, you can change your mind and decide you do want more children after all.

But if you want to explore the options available to you, talk to MW first and probably GP as well.

It can be done during a CSec, but the fail rate is slightly higher (possibly something to do with everything being rather distended at the end of a pregnancy).

Do also bear in mind that 'best practice' recommends that no sterilisation, of either sex and at any age, is carried out within a year of a major life event and childbirth is included as such an event.

Frazzled2207 · 06/07/2017 07:54

With respect, you're very young. At that age I was pretty adamant I didn't want any children. Changed my mind a few years later and had dc at 35 and 37. Not saying that will happen to you but any doctor would be worried about you changing your mind.

Original poster

EdgeOfGlory266 · 06/07/2017 08:40

scaevola unfortunately both my son and my unborn child are rainbow babies, so please do not misunderstand what I am saying. This amongst other reasons is why I do not want more children. I cannot not stand the heartbreak. My current pregnancy was a happy accident and seems to be going ok compared to others that I've had but the stress and anxiety is not something I wish to repeat for my mental health.
There are many other reasons for this decision.

OP posts:

christmashope · 06/07/2017 08:44

I was sterilised at age 27
This was done at the same time as having a c section for my second child
My body didn't cope well with both my pregnancies and the consultant agreed to sterilisation with no hesitation
My children are now aged 12 and 11 and I have no regrets
I found the operation and recovery quite sore though far worse than my first c section.

Bluntness100 · 06/07/2017 08:47

You can only ask, right? So speak to your gp. Mine wished to sterilise me at 28, in fact they were quite adamant and him and the hospital consultants tried to convince me for a year during my check ups,, but I had a terrible pregnancy, spent a month in hospital after and the odds of surviving another child was low. So there was of course a health reason in my case.

Life does change, people split up, they meet new partners, life changes, you are young and don't know what the future holds.

Is there a reason why you wish this rather than your husband have a vasectomy? It's a much simpler procedure.

scaevola · 06/07/2017 08:52

and hope this pregnancy continues well.

And vasectomy is 'simpler' only in the sense that it can be carried out under a local. The risk of untreatable, painful (and life-long) complications is 10% (source NHS). This level of risk is not always realised. Also, if OP's DH does not want his fertility surgically removed, for any reason at all, it is his body, his choice.

Just as seeking a sterilisation is OP's body and her choice.

Original poster

EdgeOfGlory266 · 06/07/2017 08:52

christmashope my pregnancy with my son was also terrible and while I'm only 13 weeks at the moment, they are telling me this one will likely be the same. Terrible pregnancies amogst loses have really insured that I do not want to do it again. It really effects my mental health.

Bluntness100 we have discussed this option however he is adamant he will not do it. He has flashbacks from how much his dad was in pain and cannot stand the thought of it. I'm still trying to work on it.

OP posts:

Nan0second · 06/07/2017 08:56

Speak to your consultant.
We would do it after careful counselling where I work

christmashope · 06/07/2017 09:15

Edge
I know that myself and my husband couldn't go through another pregnancy
We feel blessed to have the two not so little boys we have now and have never regretted our decision even though it was almost made for us with difficult pregnancies/labour etc
You need to be very firm and clear about your request when you speak to your consultant
Good luck xx

MollyoftheFolly · 06/07/2017 09:54

I had my consultant appointment last week to discuss delivery and agreed on elcs. I was specifically asked if I wanted to be sterilised at the same time, as apparently this is a routine question for anyone under our local NHS Trust who is booked in for elcs for second or subsequent children. (I would point out I'm in my thirties so not sure if age was also a factor).

Original poster

EdgeOfGlory266 · 06/07/2017 10:36

christmashope thank you. It's easy to say 'what if you change your mind' but my family as it is, is absolutely perfect. This pregnancy is an absolute bonus. We always wanted two but after a few losses and difficult pregnancies / births, we would have been more than happy with DS was our lot.
I know that life does change and people meet new partners but I don't want to plan my life around my whether my husband and I will split up because that is simply not what I want.

Thanks for the info Molly that's really interesting to know. I'm curious to find out now if they will ask me. I think the discussion regarding delivery will be done a little futher on in my pregnancy. I want to mention it asap just incase they want to refer me to a counsellor first.
My mum was sterilised the day she had me at 27.. but then again I was her forth so I think the circumstances are slightly different. 😂

OP posts:

notomatoes · 06/07/2017 10:55

The thing is though, you know you won't ever change your mind but your consultant doesn't, and they are the ones taking that option away from you so ultimately they are responsible for it and for your situation if you did change your mind. I am not saying you will, but people do. It's a big ask for someone. You should be able to make that decision for yourself and take control of your own body, but I can understand why some doctors would be unwilling to do it for you.

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