I have always believed that we should take responsibilities for our own actions, that when I fell pregnant it would be something that me and my husband would go through together and I would feel completely supported and reassured by my husband throughout, that was until I fell pregnant with OUR baby.
I spent the last ten years believing that we lived in a time where things was beginning to be equal, an equal society between men and woman, I thought that sexism was a thing of the past in my life, how wrong was I ?
30 weeks pregnant, four hours sleep following a row with my husband after I had gone out of my way to drop him at stag doo, feeling uncomfortable sitting on a bench in a beer garden watching my friend carry a different chair over to me to try and get comfy, whilst my husband sits drinking with his friends for the third day in a row, planning his next piss up, I realised that it was not only my life that had changed dramatically, but also my husbands. But one had changed in the wrong direction.
Left confused by the fact that someone who had wanted this pregnancy so much had little consideration on the toll it had on their wife made me realise the following things:
- If a pregnant person is feeling a certain way or concerned about something, blaming these thoughts or feelings on hormones does not make the feelings or thoughts go away.
- No pregnant person cares how “Freds Wife” was when she was pregnant.
- Just because someone is pregnant does not make them a taxi driver.
- Being pregnant means that I don’t want my weekends rammed with things to do, I can’t stay out until 1am waiting for you to be ready to finish with your friends and I cannot be in a stressful environment.
- Bring pregnant means that I have to put myself and the baby first even if that means making other sacrifices and missing out on things.
If only I could make him realise the effect that his behaviour had on me without him blaming my hormones. If only I could make him realise that I lie awake every night worrying that it is only my life that will be changing. Finding it hard to understand why he was not willing to make any sacrifices or support me when I had made this huge sacrifice to my life, my body, my career. I need support mentally, emotionally and physically. Just because you buy babies bits and read a couple of parents books does is not support. I chose emotional support over financial support any day.
The moment you see that blue line on the pregnancy test, you both have a responsibility, to ensure that the baby is growing in a healthy, stable, non-stressful environment. You are both already parents.