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Pregnancy

Work want to do a home visit.

15 replies

EdgeOfGlory266 · 03/07/2017 16:12

Feeling a bit nervous. I've been signed off work for around 5 weeks now. Numerous reasons. I've not been coping too well. I've been really down in recent weeks. Hormones maybe mixed with unable to get my underactive thyroid under control. A lot of sickness and anaemia. Most of all its anxiety. I had a lot of anxiety regarding losing baby (I'm 13+3) because we've had previous MC and anxiety about getting how ill I was when I was pg with my son. The longer I've been off the more I've been anxious to go back. It's a bit of a vicious cycle. I am due to go back on Monday (10th) though and I'm doing my best to make sure I do go back. My boss has phoned me today though to say that her and her line manager would like to come do a home visit on Friday. I feel so nervous about it. I've known them to do it to people before but they have been off much much longer. I have no one that can be there with me either.

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claritytobeclear · 03/07/2017 16:21

Whenever there is an appointment or whatever I'm not looking forward to, I like to remind myself it will be done before I know it. It will go really quickly.

Just be yourself. You've done stuff by the book. You've just been ill. You've nothing to be reproached for.

They probably just want to fill you in on what's been happening and make sure you're ok for work on Monday. It'll be a box ticking exercise.

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Julybug · 03/07/2017 17:04

They probably just want to make sure your ready to come back to work and maybe do a risk assessment or something

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EdgeOfGlory266 · 03/07/2017 20:02

It's really difficult because I know what they're like at my place. They absolutely hate it when people are off sick. They're really funny about and in no way supportive. They're really judgy - I've seen them judging others that are off sick. I worry that they think I'm using my pregnancy as an excuse to be off, which I'm not. I remember my team leader telling me when I was pregnant with my son "pregnancy is not an illness" which of course I know but it can still make you feel bloody awful.

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LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 03/07/2017 20:18

When I was signed off during my last pregnancy I had to do a phone call but it was just about helping me back to work in a way I could manage - so reduced hours and some working from home. So hopefully nothing to worry about. But try to look as ill as possible.

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Temporaryanonymity · 03/07/2017 20:30

Would you feel less anxious if the meeting was held elsewhere?

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VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 03/07/2017 20:33

You don't have to meet them at home. Suggest a coffee shop or someone else's house. They do not have a god given right to be in your house.

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EdgeOfGlory266 · 03/07/2017 20:37

I don't think I mind it being in my home to be honest. I don't think it would make too much difference. It's actually easier because they're coming at 10 and I have my first consultant appointment at 11.15.. They are aware that I need to leave my house by 11 - the hospital is literally just over the bridge from me, so will take me 2 mins to walk there.

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MiniMum97 · 03/07/2017 20:40

Are the doctors keeping a close eye on your Thyroid levels? You usually need an increase in levo when pregnant and TSH should be under 2 (ideally under 1). Doctors can be a bit pants in terms of managing thyroid. Depends on how good your GP or endo are.

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helterskelter99 · 03/07/2017 20:44

Hopefully they will be trying to help

I had multiple miscarriages and my anxiety in my pregnancy that worked was sky high what really helped was literally taking it one day at a time waking up pregnant and going to bed pregnant. I didn't think more than 24 hrs ahead until he was about 6 months old !

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Heirhelp · 03/07/2017 20:45

Where do you work? Do you have a union rep or friend who can be present? You don't have to do the meeting by yourself.

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EdgeOfGlory266 · 03/07/2017 21:02

MiniMum97 had my bloods done at 6 weeks and then again this morning. So it's being monitored. That's also why consultant wants to see me this week.

I work for an insurance company and I do have a union rep. Would them coming too look like I'm scared of something? Would they even be willing to come. I pay into the union each month but I've never used them.

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grainmum · 04/07/2017 05:04

I would at least speak to your union they may have some advice about what to expect.
Also think about how the meeting could work for you. Is there anything that would help you feel less anxious going back? Are you feeling up to gong back to your full hours straight away or would a phased return help? Are there particular tasks that make you feel anxious could you reintroduce those at a later date? Depending on the nature of your role (eg are you customer facing) do you need more regular breaks just to do some self care, have a snack if the nausea is still a problem, gather your thoughts?
It is in your employers interest that this is a successful return to work rather than you going off again after a short time so think about it and present any suggestions from that point of view.

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Emeraude · 05/07/2017 10:45

Sounds like bullshit to me and is making me feel stressed reading it. I had a few months off with work-related anxiety/depression and when my boss tried to ring me once, I had a panic attack and turned off my phone for 24 hours. After a few days I got in touch with my union, who stopped them from contacting me and all correspondence had to go through my local rep. I know this is not work-related as such, but if you're still off sick, you're off sick. They should do any return to work meetings when you return to work.

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Jessybear90 · 08/07/2017 10:36

Hi OP just wondering how you got on?

When I read your post it made me really mad. I would tell your work where to shove it!

Well, not exactly but just tell them "thank you for the offer of a home visit but I will politely decline" they really should not be contacting you if you've been signed off sick specially since you have anxiety.

Remember the you don't need to let anyone at all into your home if you don't want to. X

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EdgeOfGlory266 · 08/07/2017 16:06

It actually went quite well surprisingly. My husband stayed home for a bit of moral support.

I'm due to go back Monday and they asked me if I wanted to go back on reduced hours for a couple of weeks. They told me I don't need to do much work until I'm ready and settled and a few other things too. So the outcome wasn't too bad and it went much better than expected.

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