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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant and (now) alone... Worried.

9 replies

user1496772655 · 30/06/2017 20:51

Hello everybody.

Just found out I'm pregnant (only about 4 weeks). Bit of a shock, but that's a long story.

I initially wasn't sure whether to tell the father, because he's not exactly somebody I would class as dad material, but I realised I was playing God due to my own opinion of what 'dad material' is and I shouldn't judge.

He isn't a bad person by the way but we are not in a relationship.

I told him on Monday, and he was initially in shock (which I understand, because I felt the same when I found out). I gave him space, then he rang me to meet up again on Wednesday.

He has decided he doesn't want a child and therefore doesn't want anything to do with me from now on. He said he's not ready etc, asked me to abort, called me a fair few names and kicked me out. He lives locally in a small village where we both live so chances of us seeing each other are high anyway.

I live with my parents. Complicated situation, but my mum and me have a great relationship and me and my step dad have a non existent one (we hate each other) to the point where I cannot enter the living room (ever) and I schedule bathroom/kitchen times around him. I absolutely would not be welcomed in open arms to continue living with them with a baby.

I have an ok job (I'm a receptionist) but I am not independent (as in live alone yet etc). Where do I go for support or advice? I don't feel like it's a time to turn to my mum yet.

Please note I'm not a sponger who got pregnant to turn to benefits etc or get a council house (I had some nasty comments like this on another forum). I'm just asking for advice.

Thanks in advance.x

OP posts:
Firstimefreaked · 30/06/2017 21:01

<a class="break-all" href="https://gingerbread.org.uk,www.gov.uk/browse/childcare-parenting/pregnancy-birth" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">gingerbread.org.uk,www.gov.uk/browse/childcare-parenting/pregnancy-birth 4 weeks is still very early days, I waited until after 8 weeks to tell anyone obv got in touch with a doctor/midwife about 8-10 weeks and told my mum at 13 weeks. I hope it goes well for you x

Firstimefreaked · 30/06/2017 21:04

I don't know what area you live in but there maybe a a pregnancy advice support line for your area X

user1496772655 · 30/06/2017 21:53

I live in Liverpool x

OP posts:
Jessiecat27 · 30/06/2017 22:00

Citizens advice may have an office near to you or if not there should be one in town, don't know where abouts you are or if there's something similar near to you but in Birkenhead they have a community midwife office. You don't need an appointment and they may be able to give you advice. You can get benefits if you're living alone with a child even if you have a job (I believe) hope this helps!

10Betty10 · 01/07/2017 17:05

If living with your parents isn't an option with the baby and the father wants nothing to do with it, I think that you will need to accept help from your local council- there's no shame in it- it's there to help people who are in a difficult situation. Have a look on your local council or gov.uk and give them a call?

www.gov.uk/apply-for-council-housing

10Betty10 · 01/07/2017 17:05

And jessiecat is right- you should be eligible for support even though you are working.

Firstimefreaked · 01/07/2017 17:16

Maternity assist looks great, www.liverpoolwomens.nhs.uk/our-services/maternity/maternity-assist/. Quite a few things come up when you google it, if you have miscarried before it's important to contact your go now, you midwife app will have lots of info and they will be able to help you with support and information X

Moanyoldcow · 01/07/2017 22:32

Do you want the baby?

Jessybear90 · 02/07/2017 09:36

Hi OP,

It sounds like you have a very good relationship with your Mum so I think you should tell her. Even if you don't tell your step dad just yet and the two of you keep it between you.

I'm faced with a possible difficult decision right now and my mum (much to my surprise) told me not to worry that me and the baby can live with her if needs be (which would mean my younger sister would have to move out) and their lives would be turned upside down. But it's amazing how families gather round when you really need them. If she's already letting you live their despite your step dads views then that clearly says to me that she cares for you enough to put her own relationship at risk (which is what a mother should do) x

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