Intense stress/anxiety and successful pregnancy

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Hoping for another child in early 40's - Have one 6 yr old but 3 miscarriages - all during stressful times in life.

Most recent one was 2 months ago - absolutely heartbroken about that one due to my age.

The doctor I spoke to at the time of miscarriage believes that stress absolutely plays a part which concerns me as we're currently going through an extremely difficult time which could potentially go on for 2 years or so which isn't good news at my age

I don't know if it's true, but I read somewhere that when 9/11 happened, some of the wives of men who died were pregnant and yet all delivered healthy babies.

They may have had youth on their side and if they'd been well into their pregnancies this would have helped.

I lost all mine around 8 -11 weeks.

I've changed my diet - cut out all processed foods and will now cut down on natural sugars and increase fruits and veg & work on fitness.

But how can I try to relax and control stress hormones when things are so difficult?

Has anyone had similar experience of this either with miscarriage due to stress or becoming pregnant during extremely difficult circumstances and yet still had healthy pregnancy and baby?

Thank you

I'm so sorry for your losses.

I'm pregnant and we're buying a house. Not the most stressful thing in the world but not a walk in the park!

I've found that since I've been pregnant my priorities have changed and I've just stopped caring about the house. I don't let myself think about it any more than I have to and my wonderful DH has picked up all the slack and is really doing everything so that I don't have to.

You could also take up mindful meditation (there are lots of apps out there) and do some breathing exercises - they really do work!

Try to rely on your partner where you can and focus on the baby.

Have you had any investigations into the causes of the miscarriages?

I had three healthy babies, all during severe periods of anxiety. One miscarriage during a calm period, so I would say don't rule stress out but it's very possible to still carry a baby anyway.

Sorry for your losses. I've had three miscarriages during calm periods in my life. Whilst I was pregnant with DS I was incorrectly put at risk of redundancy & then had to cover three roles after the redundancies went through & manage through a huge contract that my former boss had made errors on so a very very stressful run up to maternity leave & DS was absolutely fine. This pregnancy has been during quite stressful family times but all fine so far. I think the doctor was unfair to say stress had a role in your mc.

Have you had any tests on why you've had the losses? I had DS between mine so wasn't eligible for testing after the third one. I've done a bit of reading and there is evidence that low dose aspirin can help so when I got pregnant this time I mentioned it to the GP and he advised me to take it.

I had horrible anxiety about my pregnancy and a really stressful period at work including an internal audit - I went to talk to my doctor about it and they said there is no link to miscarriage. I also have a really calm baby at a good weight (although a horrible birth!) so I don't think it affected her in any way really. It's obviously better for your health not to be stressed of course!

Ignore your stupid GP and make sure they investigate thoroughly. There are very few things you can accidentally do as a pregnant woman which cause miscarriage, it's not your fault.

Thank you so much for all your supportive replies, it really is helpful to hear a difference of opinion from women who've been through it themselves and yet had perfectly healthy babies.

I'll look into taking aspirin - not heard of that.

Thanks again xxx

V annoyed at doctor! Not helpful and guaranteed to make you more stressed.

I would say that unfortunately the stats aren't brilliant because of age and that's about it: but that doesn't mean they're impossible. I remember reading somewhere (sorry, not exact - I was looking for rates for late 30s and I don't remember the source) that 1 in 2 pregnancies after 41 or 42 end in miscarriage. But even if that's the case, the odds are still decent if you keep going - yes, it's very hard to just do that isn't it.

Have you read 'It starts with an egg'? Lots of info in there about egg health and how you can improve it. I took ubiquinol, which I found very helpful overall for my health (no idea if it worked, but am pregnant after taking a while and a miscarriage). Didn't do much of the rest of it, like the no plastics rule, but I felt good on ubiquinol so I figured it couldn't be awful!

So what your dr is saying is that I caused all of my miscarriages because of high stress levels..hmmm.

I was dealing with a million pound contract going badly wrong, if not managed properly could have contributed to deaths in very vulnerable people when pregnant for the 9th time following 7 miscarriages.
My boy was born healthy. (I was 43)
Never have I felt so stressed and anxious at my job as I was at that time.

My only stress with my other unsuccessful pregnancies was anxiety about miscarriage.

Good luck.

I had hyperemesis from early on in my pregnancy and also had family problems. I was constantly nauseous and vomiting, stressed at being so ill, anxious about the baby and generally miserable for a good 5 months of the pregnancy. My dd is the happiest, healthiest baby and never stops smiling. I don't think that's down to anything I did or didn't do or how I was feeling. I don't think the miscarriages you had are your fault or anything you can control and I don't think it was fair of the doctor to suggest otherwise. Sorry to hear about your miscarriages x

My mum was diagnosed with cancer, I.nursed her and she died during pregnancy - I had a healthy baby.
I think stress would have more impact on becoming pregnant rather than miscarriage (may be anecdotal but sure stress can affect ovulation and may affect how often you actually have sex!) . Babies are very protected in our uterus xx

Thank you so much for all your helpful messages.

• LumpySpaceCow - I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I hope life is better for you now despite your loss.

• Jimijack - my situation is kind of similar to what you went through. It involves a potentially gigantic some of money and not in a good way!

xxxx