Petrified of labour.....please help and advice

[amylou131]

Please bare with me its quite long....Ok so I have 2 children already, my daughter's labour was 21 hours long but no complications just drawn out and tiring.

My 2nd pregnancy with my son started with me having a front placenta resulting in me not feeling as much movement but I soon learnt what was normal for him....apart from the usual sickness etc the pregnancy was great.
Around 38 weeks I barely felt any movement and they monitored me and told me everything was fine but for some reason decides they wanted to induce me from 39 weeks.
I went in on the Monday and gave birth on the friday but inbetween that time i had several stretch and sweeps several inducement gels had my waters broke and nothing was helping. They decided to put me on the inducement drip which was so painful it's unreal and because your hooked to the drip as well as a monitor you can't move to make sure your comfortable. I noticed his movements had stopped and that his heartbeat had slowed right down (I know this is normal during pregnancy but it was mega slow) a nurse told me it's ok he's sleepy and left it at that. I knew differently and managed after wot felt forever to get a second opinion and with that I had about 10 different drs and nurses and midwives all rushing in to do wot they could to get him out. I gave birth at 15:03 was booked in for an emergent section at 15:30. When he was born they rushed him straight off....we had lost him his apgar results were 0. After a long 9 minutes I heard his first cry (they were giving up after 10). The whole ordeal was traumatic for both me and him. He's now a lively healthy happy 7 year old.
I since fell pregnant again and at 10 weeks I had a miscarriage due to the placenta coming away from my uterus. I Haemorrhaged and went thru a lot of pain and stress with this. But again I fell pregnant but I couldn't cope with the stress of what could happen so please don't judge me but I had an abortion.
It's now been 5 years and me and my husband really want another baby....ive booked in to get my coil taken out and it's caused a mass panic in my head. Does anybody know what I can do to help the way I'm feeling??? I love being pregnant and don't want to ruin my pregnancy because I'm stressing over the birth.

Sorry about it being so long

Firstly I'm sorry to hear of the horrible experiences you've had. Have you ever considered a c section? Could you discuss this with a doctor? I had quite a traumatic pregnancy and birth after a miscarriage. I was a nervous wreck throughout pregnancy and was also induced via drip, went from 0 to baby in 4 hours. Ended up needing major surgery afterwards along with other issues. Thankfully DS was fine. During the surgery, I remember it was so odd as I felt that it was the calmest part of the whole experience once they had everything under control... at the end the surgical team were evening singing to Christmas music!! After several follow up appointments with consultants they all said to me, next time just have a c section and have a nice birth experience. I fully understand they are usually more difficult in terms of recovery, but the recovery after labour isn't just physical. I hope you find some peace with your previous experience and have a happy birth in the future

Thank you for your response, I have considered a c-section but I wasn't sure if that was something I could just opt in to or if they had to tell me if I can or can't have 1? Ive also considered an epidural but I'm not sure if that would help me as it's not the pain im afraid of its if anything happens to me or the baby x

You're welcome well my friend told me that apparently you have a right to request a c section delivery upon your first appointment with the midwife- the one where they ask you a million questions. After that a consultant has to agree to it for a risk factor, I.e baby measuring large/too small or health issues. Not sure how true that is and if it's different for each county I'm not sure? I think c sections are definitely safer for babies as opposed to 'natural' delivery, but probably more high risk for mums. I thought about an epidural next time too because I don't know if it was just due to the drip induction but it literally felt like I was being tortured during contractions, but I was told by the consultant epidurals slow down the contractions and put you at higher risk of emergency c section, if you end up being induced. Obviously there's a big difference between planned and emergency c sections. x

Forgot to add that given your previous birth being pretty traumatic they might let you have the choice anyway. My consultant said everything is kept on your file and I could decide at any point to have a c section in the future but I'm not sure if that's because of the 'damage' caused following he delivery of DS x

The problem is because the hospital was at fault with my son's delivery they wiped his record....his red book even disappeared for 3 years and turned up at the drs with pages missing so there's no record to prove that I had a difficult birth. I know what you mean about the drip it's horrific!! Would I be able to speak to a midwife before falling pregnant to talk about my concerns or do i have to wait til I'm pregnant? I've made my appointment for the coil to come out and I've felt physically sick since xx

I'm the same, 3rd baby and terrified.

My other labours were not that bad, pretty quick, no bad tears etc but this time round I am panicking when I think about it. Terrified at the thought of being awake with a c-section 😰

If the hospital really has no records relating to your last birth then they are going to have to accept your account of what happened. Can you go to a different hospital? That might help.

I spoke to an obstetrician before this pregnancy (got referral from my gp). Had an awful birth injury with first pregnancy. Obstetrician heard my story and immediately put me at ease and suggested a section. It was really nice to start TTC not having any anxiety about how I would cope with another birth. Maybe talk to your GP?

Also, maybe consider some counseling to help with the (totally understandable!) anxiety.

Good luck!

We only have 1 local hospital so unfortunately I don't have the option of going somewhere else... as much as id love to lol.

I could maybe speak to the nurse/Dr that takes my coil out n see if they could refer me to speak to anyone