Should I give BF a go for baby?

[PayingMyWayYouSay]

DH is really wanting me to do it for the baby. He has outlined the benefits and is keen I BF because he says my only real reason for wanting to not BF is better routine/sleep. He is correct.

To me, these BF studies aren't long term and show no real evidence about development etc. However, I do wonder about mouth and speech development? Midwife is adamant their jaws or something form better with BF.

I want to formula feed. I think (generally), children who are FF sleep better. I know there are rubbish sleepers full stop, but more often than not a baby will sleep better with formula providing they don't have something like colic etc. I did read a few studies on this. Will try and get the links

I think settling DS might be easier with formula too? BF is all very milk machine maker, on demand 24/7 etc.

I just don't fancy it. Is that selfish of me?

I'm more than happy to give him the colostrum for a few days

I've also found BF to be the best thing for soothing my teething DS.

Dd was FF and has always always been a horrendous sleeper. She's only just stopped waking up in the night, aged 4.5yo.

If I have another I think I'll try harder to bf. I didnt seem to produce any milk until after a week of having dd, she was a very hungry baby that wouldn't latch on.

I was FF (DM never produced a drop of milk despite trying desperately) and still am a terrible sleeper. DS was breastfed for the first three months and is also a terrible sleeper. Some babies sleep, some don't.

Ultimately it's your decision not your DH's.

Not read the other replies but I BF both mine and one was sleeping by five weeks not all the way through but only got up for one feel early morning and drifted off again, he put weight on well so there was no need to wake him up for extra feeds.

Second DS was terrible at sleeping and when I finally started him in bottles at three months thinking I would get much better sleep I didn't and was disappointed, DP helped when he could but wasn't often (worked away) he did eventually sleep through at 9 months when he got his own room.

So if you fancy BF don't let routein or sleep put you off because it's really not the case they sleep better. And it's much easier to attach a baby to your boob than to go make and cool bottles in the middle of the night

But..... This is only your decision you'll be the one providing these feeds so you decide

Previous research and a lot of surveys I've seen indicate that FF children sleep better in the long run, and usually sleep through earlier.

Yes there are those who are just naturally pants at sleeping, but on the whole FF keeps them fuller for long because their tiny tummies can't digest it as easily as Bmilk.

All friends around me say their DC magically slept a lot longer once they gave up on BF and gave the baby formula instead.. there's always people it doesn't make a difference for but on the whole it seems to work quite well.

My DM FF all of her children from about 2 weeks, and that night of first being on formula, they slept much longer.

I was BF until 6 weeks and started sleeping through completely from day 1 because I was just naturally sleepy, but the others caused my DM shock with their lack of sleepiness. She said that soon changed once on formula.

DB is only 2 so she isn't ancient with the knowledge/experience

Totally up to you, your body your choice. How about you just have a go and see how you get on? Lots of my friends found it easier to cosleep and bf to avoid having to get up every time in the night. Mine was ff and a terrible sleeper so we coslept too. You are right to interpret the studies this way....ff doesn't necessarily mean your baby will have lower in, asthma, teeth problems. It's a minute difference over an awful lot of babies.

IQ

Miss Thank you. I agree, I'll give it a whirl but won't be pressuring myself.

I've seen how feeling like a failure literally destroys some women's confidence for some time and how some MW promote BF and react to FF really does shock me.

My current MW is amazing but with my twins (sadly lost), I had a horrid woman who made me feel like a selfish troll for not wanting to feed Baby by breast due to psychological problems around breasts.

Your body, your boobs, your choice.

I would also echo the PPs who say it might be worth giving it a go - even a couple of days offers a wealth of protection for the baby.

FWIW, I BFed DD for 6 weeks before switching to formula. She definitely did sleep better from that point onwards. I didn't find FF any more inconvenient than BF, as DD wasn't a particularly efficient feeder and would take ages on the boob. She was much quicker with a bottle. We had self-sterilising bottles and a perfect prep machine so making up feeds took hardly any time.

Delcious thank you for that post, very informative. Will try first thing for sure.

I have many friends who'd echo your experience word for word

Congrats on your DD

Obviously you can do as you choose, and rightly you should, but do remember if you don't get on with bf you can always switch to ff. Not so the other way round.

I was in two minds when pregnant; ff just seemed so... practical. In the end I'm glad I bf, not least because I found it so easy but because it later turned baby has a severe dairy allergy, the symptoms of which were much less acute with me bf. If I'd started out ff he'd have been one very unhappy, very sick baby. And no, there's no family history either side.

Yes, your can get specialist formulas, but I've seen friends with allergic babies on formula and they had a nightmare; constant screaming pain, always initially diagnosed as reflux, multiple doctors visits, sleepless nights, babies losing weight, trying out loads of formulas, baby refusing specialist formula because it's GROSS...

I know it's not a likely outcome but it did make me wonder what if I'd just made that decision for almost arbitrary reasons? I couldn't have gone back in time and given bf a go... Worth trying it first I say, but I appreciate that's heavily influenced by my experience.

Oh yeah if do you start off Bf and move to formula a period of combo feeding so Bf the whole time then formula for the last feed before bed gets them proper milk drunk and a big sleep too. I think it messes with milk production but helps with the this is bed time routine

Your mental health is JUST as important as any miniscule health benefits for your individual child. Nothing will affect You more than being pushed into bfing if you don't want to do it. You will never ever know if bf or ff made any difference for your child but it's lovely to not be solely responible for feeding. I would suggest try it if you want to, if you don't want to try it then don't. You could try mixed feeding if you want. But be aware if you do try it and don't like it you can stop any time you like. Don't get pressured by "breast is best ".

I can remember one of my male colleagues telling me that his only advice to me was to breastfeed ... he said that BF was a lot easier Well yes, it would have been for him!

I missed the ease of breastfeeding at night and out and about, but otherwise prefer formula feeding (Not taking into account the heart-wrenching and soul-crushing guilt when bf didn't work out)

It's completely up to you what you do. That said I don't think you have anything to lose by trying it.

One of my NCT friends did from a couple of weeks in all breastfeeding except for the last feed of the day which was formula, she said this was to help with sleep and I have to say, it did seem to work for her.

There is definitely one approach of breastfeeding which is to completely relax and chill out and just be on demand all the time but it doesn't have to be like that, it's completely up to you how you handle it.

I would warn that going in breastfeeding with a very set mindset and wanting to be in control of it and have set feedback of how much they are getting is likely to stress you out. But if you're happy to mix and match breast and bottle as and when and if it works it works and if it doesn't oh well, then you'll probably be just fine.

Ahh, the old 'breast is best' that MW and DH seems to like.

Breastfeeding is the best nutritional value when it comes down to it. But not so much that it should ruin a Mother's sheer sanity and make her feel like she is a shitty mother just because her DC has formula.

For me, a happy, healthy Mother who can care for their DC in all areas with a positive mind, is best.

I wouldn't assume that FF naturally makes for a happy healthy mother. The worst PND I have seen happened to a friend who FF from birth and whose husband did the majority of the night feeds.

You don't need to justify yourself to anyone least of all randoms on the internet. I have breastfed two (still feeding the second) and both have a great routine. DS2 goes down at 6:30. Feeds at 12:30/4:30 and is up for the day at 7:30. He is 10 weeks today.

Also remember sleep is a MUCH longer process. I have friends who had amazing sleepers as babies (many of whom were FF). Come age 2/3/4/5 their kids refuse to go to bed, enormous tantrums, multiple awakenings etc etc. Good sleep habits are more valuable than just the time spent sleeping and BF or FF isn't linked to either.

"I couldn't have gone back in time and given bf a go"

You can start breastfeeding when baby is a few weeks old if you really want to, whether you did initially or not. It's not as simple as switching to FF from BF of course but it can be done.

It's sounds like you have your head screwed on op so just keep hold of that when you have had the baby because with hormones and everything you might not know what way is up and what way is down . You may start to fall for the breast is best stuff and put too much pressure on yourself like i did which almost broke me in the end . putting my twins on formula was the best thing i could have done for my own mental health. I have never had any problems bonding with them and I think that is partly due to the fact that I gave up on breastfeeding and put them on formula which meant I could let go of the stress and just get on with enjoying my beautiful chilled out, calm, non cluster feeding babies. They have slept through from about 8 to 10 weeks post due date from 9:30 p.m. til about 6.30am pretty much every night and they are 6 months now. More importantly they are absolutely thriving.

Someone said to me that breast-feeding is a two-way relationship. if it's not working for you both then it's not working. Its your body and nobody can make you do it. Breastfeeding is so bloody hard for most people and there's nothing wrong with not wanting to put yourself through it when there is a perfectly safe alternative.

Do what you want, not what anyone else wants. Not their tits, not their choice. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for what is YOUR decision. You may feel differently one way or the other when baby comes.

I think it's quite personal as well. For me I'd always prefer to BF because I just think FF looks like a nightmare. The extra washing up, worrying about sterility, having to work out when to make a bottle so the baby isn't screaming hungry but the milk isn't sitting there becoming a bacteria farm, nights, being out, making sure you don't run out, it's all the advance planning that would get me (not my strong point).

At the same time I can see that those kinds of things would be a complete non issue for some people and they might find the baby being dependent on them/automatically going to them or longer feed times or the unpredictable nature or cluster feeding to be a complete faff whereas I didn't mind those things at all.

On the other hand I do think a lot of the downsides of BF are overstated, like not being able to share baby care as equally - you CAN do this but you'll need a pretty determined partner who doesn't take the easy option. Or not being able to leave the baby - again personal choice and many mothers who breastfeed would rather not, but you definitely can, if you want to make it work.

On the sleep side yes I think BF babies tend to sleep lighter and wake more often. I also didn't find it that terrible to have to deal with. It might be different for others. But I don't think it's as awful as perhaps you might fear before the baby arrives.

My sister bf her soon on a schedule, and he 6" 2' now.
For me nights are easier of you bf, Judy life on your side and plug them in, then go back to sleep. The thought of having to get up and walk about to do bottles .... But it's about what works for you.

Mine wouldnt have done schedules, he was a cluster feeder and could feed for six or even hours solid. Bf to a Schedule (assuming it's a four hourly feed) isn't a great idea - their tummies are tiny and empty quickly, so they get hungry quickly too. In the early weeks they need to bf on demand if bfing. If you want to stick to a schedule then ff may be better because it takes longer to digest. Breast milk is fine from the stomach within 90 mins so you've got 2.5 hours of a very hungry and possibly pissed off baby.

At the end of the day it's your choice. You could try bf and see how you get on. Some women take to it like a duck to water and for them it's miles easier than bottles. Others struggle, some can't do it at all or don't like it. Everyone is different.

I bfd my son for 18m. If I have another I'll be mix feeding because it was exhausting being the only one who could feed and his weight was low. I found it hard at first but we managed to get going in the end the end me then it was much easier than bottles. But at the start it was much harder.

It's totally up to you. If you want to bf then get some sources of support. If you want to ff that's fine too. Or you can do a bit of both, it doesn't have to be either or.

Oh and they don't sleep better on bottles. That's a myth. Good sleepers are born, not made. Good luck with it all, and congratulations

I wasn't very invested in breastfeeding. Thought I'd give it a go but was happy to switch if there were problems. I expected it to be very hard and after a horrible delivery I was resigned to it not happening (crash cs, severe sepsis for me). DD latched on for the first time at a few hours old (complications kept us apart until then). She fed beautifully from day 1. We left hospital when she was a week old and she slept 5 hour stretches at night from the first night and 8 hours by 6 weeks. Breastfeeding was for me the easiest part of parenting. If you don't want to do it that's absolutely fine, and your baby will be fine. But it may well be easy- depends on the baby you get I think!

I do hold with the belief that FF babies sleep better. That said i EBF all 3 dcs. If i had another i think i would make the last feed before bed a FF from about 3 months onwards.