Visit from mum post birth

[manyaslip]

How soon after baby is here should I have my DM come over to stay with us for a couple of weeks? My family lives abroad and DM kindly offered to fly over after the birth to meet the little one and help us out. Would it be better for her to come in those first couple of weeks after the birth or sometime later after we've settled down a bit? Just not sure what would be sensible. WWYD? DH will be around and he doesn't have a preference.

How do you/will you feel about it? Depending on how far along you are your feelings may change.

I would say when your DH goes back to work

How do you and your partner get on with your mum? My parents came to us for a few days before DD was born and stayed for a week. DH and I were both very happy with that arrangement, but I know a lot of people wouldn't.

My mum came a few days after birth. As I was a ftm I had no idea what to do with a new baby! So having her here really helped. Plus it was great to have someone watch the baby while I have a shower, sleep etc.

Really would depend on your DH I think in this case

If he has two weeks Pat leave, he is there to help you and spend time with the two of you, and could resent your mum being there

I would get her to come for when DH does back to work- it's still very early, you will still be physically recovering and need the support

I find my mum a bit annoying but I have been surprised by how much I've wanted and appreciated her being around since DS was born. In hindsight I think she could have been a good birth partner (although before the birth I hated the idea of her being there!) When she arrived at the hospital I was so glad to see her. She helped me have my first shower after a rather difficult birth. Since then she has visited regularly, brought home cooked meals and other treats, and generally helped with DS and a few jobs around the house. She hasn't stayed over though, luckily she lives close enough to come for the day and go home again

In your case I guess it depends how helpful your mum is likely to be and whether there's any chance she might stress you out? If she will be 100% helpful and not annoying, you might want her to come ASAP, but if there is any risk of stress or tension, maybe give it a couple of weeks.

Also consider that baby might be late so if she needs to book flights now, it might be wise to time the visit at least 2 weeks after your due date.

Bit different as I'm having a planned c-section but my Mum is coming for two weeks from then as we live abroad with no local friends and family so DH and I wanted some extra support. He is taking the first week off and then another 2 weeks once she goes, then she comes back for another 2 weeks which takes us to 6 weeks post c-section. I have a health condition though and my Mum is an incredibly helpful person, if she wasn't I'd suggest not having her come immediately after the birth.

Thanks everyone - that's helpful.

I would suggest when your DH goes back to work, you'll really appreciate having your mum there.

My parents booked their flights about 2 weeks after the due date. DS was born on due date by emcs and I was v sick and in hospital for nearly a week so I only had a week to manage at home. DH didn't really get paternity leave ( we're in America) although he took some holidays. I have never been so happy to see my parents! My mum is super helpful though. They stayed for 2 weeks and it really was a godsend.

This time round DS will be 2 and I'm booked for elcs. My mum is coming a week before the csec date just in case and my dad will join afterwards. They'll stay for 3 weeks and I know I'll really need their help!

I'd say when your other half is back at work. If nothing else, extending the amount of time until you're left alone with a baby is good.