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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Should I plan my pregnancy around a family wedding??

36 replies

StarsShiningBrightAboveYou · 19/06/2017 11:24

Would be grateful for any advice or stories from those who have been / are facing a similar conundrum....

My sister is getting married next Autumn and has asked me to be maid of honour. Only issue is DH and I had hoped to start trying for baby #2 early next year which would mean I would most likely be pregnant for her wedding. If I am pregnant I feel I wouldn't enjoy her day in the way I would like (drinking/dancing/looking my best etc) which really makes me feel sad. She looked incredible on my wedding day and stayed up all night partying with our friends and I am desperate to do the same at her wedding.

So... I postpone trying to conceive until after her wedding?? I am in my mid 30s now so hesitant to wait but perhaps this is best? Or should we try and get pregnant ASAP this year to then make sure the baby is born and I've had a chance to recover physically/mentally and lose some baby weight etc before her wedding???

Of course the other option is just to go with the flow and if I end up being heavily pregnant or recently having given birth around the time of her wedding just deal with it but this really doesn't appeal to me very much! How many times in your life do you get to have a star role at a beautiful and important occasion like this? She is my only sibling so this is pretty much it for me and I want to be on my best form!!

I feel so unsure about what to do. I'm not quite ready to be pregnant again hence why I was hoping to wait to conceive for another few months while I get in the right frame of mind for pregnancy and also get my body ready by going on a major health kick (I am quite overweight right now and not very healthy so not ideal environment in my body to grow a baby!!).

Please help - keen to hear from anyone who has been pregnant for a major family event or important occasion and how did it go? Also keen to hear helpful advice from anyone really. Thank you!

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PurpleTraitor · 19/06/2017 16:29

With respect, 'a star role at a beautiful and important event' - it's a wedding. If it follows the standard cardboard cut out of weddings, then it's fluff, photos, a meal and a disco. Usually on the hotel's (conveyor belt) timescale. That's not to take away from it being a happy day for those directly involved, if that's their wish, but it's an everyday event for most. You'd be mad to delay TTC.

kiwiscantfly · 19/06/2017 16:43

I'm going to be the lone opposing voice it seems. My brother had two weddings (same wife, different countries) three months apart and we waited till after the second one TTC. The second wedding was around DCs 2nd birthday. Selfishly this gave me time to lose the baby weight and I felt and looked fab, and I wasn't a bridesmaid. We also had two amazing parties that I'm pleased I wasn't pregnant for. I had planned to be pregnant the next month when in reality it took eight more months, during which I was quite frustrated and put on a lot of weight, which as we know doesn't help TTC.

Long story short, while the 3.5 year age was bigger than I'd wanted it, I have enjoyed it, and felt it was worth it. Also, when I was 9 weeks pg with DC2 I had a cousins wedding, not much fun at all. And not just because I wasn't drinking.

JellyBert · 19/06/2017 16:47

I was in a similar situation this time round. My DP is in his 40s and doesn't want to be a really old dad, we wanted to try for DC2 and my cousin asked could we wait because she wanted me to be bridesmaid at her wedding (abroad).
I just said sorry, I can't do that, we want another baby. Would have happily gone to her wedding if it was in the U.K, but at 35 weeks pregnant it wasn't possible.
Don't think she was happy but I found it ridiculous she even asked! It's different with your sister, but I would still put yourself first. I'm sure she will understand x

acquiescence · 19/06/2017 22:44

I was pregnant for my own wedding and also for my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. Neither was ideal and I would have rather not been pregnant. I had a wonderful time at both.
It is worth considering that you could come down with a nasty bug at the time of your sisters wedding and still feel crap despite not being pregnant and having wasted all that time.

annlee3817 · 19/06/2017 22:50

I was my best friends MOH when my DD was just 6 weeks old, i did the hen heavily pregnant and still really enjoyed it. We purposely chose a nice maxi dress which i booked in to be altered by my local seamstress a couple of weeks before. I'd personally just go with the flow rather than delaying.

Teabagtits · 19/06/2017 22:54

I was heavily pregnant for my brothers wedding last week and everyone was aware I was booked in for a section the very next morning... there was no drama and I just kept to myself. People were a bit amazed I attended but it wasn't as if I was doing the cancan all night.

BlondeB83 · 19/06/2017 23:30

You would be crazy to delay it. We have delayed just enough time for our own wedding so that I wouldn't literally be giving birth down the aisle!

Original poster

StarsShiningBrightAboveYou · 20/06/2017 10:00

Thanks so much to everyone who has posted on this thread! I really enjoyed reading your comments and it has certainly helped me to realise what I probably knew deep down but was struggling to admit. I may or may not end up being pregnant for the wedding but can't plan something as important as a pregnancy around a 1 day event which isn't even about me anyway. Really appreciate all your input with this - I feel a weight has been lifted!

OP posts:

RaeSkywalker · 20/06/2017 10:51

Glad to hear it Stars 😊

Sparklyuggs · 20/06/2017 12:53

stars that's good to hear. I know it's hard to think of missing out on things but it's for a good reason. I've had a difficult pregnancy and had to miss so many weddings, holidays and birthdays in the past 8 months but I keep telling myself it's worth it, and if I hadn't been pregnant now I'd have had the same issue at another time.

fluffandsnuff · 20/06/2017 13:03

I was a bridesmaid last weekend at 37 weeks. We stopped TTC for one month and then it happened in the next month! The hen do was pole dancing so was a bit limited and there we're questions over whether I would make it at all. But, I was upfront with the bride from the start and gave her the option to ditch me as a bridesmaid. The dress was a pain (had to have it altered at my own cost of course) and I lasted until the dancing started. I don't think it would be too much of a problem in second/ early third trimester, but 37 weeks was a trial (especially in this heat). It's up to you whether you want to TTC, but thought the rundown of my experience might be helpful

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