AIBU to want to go to bed at 9.30pm?

[lydiangel83]

Hi I'm first time pregnant and work/ commute long hours daily. DH and I are often out at weekends and evenings too.

However on days where I can go to bed at a decent time I'm desperate to get an early night e.g. Around 9.30pm as I don't sleep well, wake up several times during the night and almost always awake by 5am (alarm goes off at 6am for work).

DH can sleep anywhere, anytime and is asleep within 5 mins and won't wake until morning when his alarm goes off. We joke about sleep envy but I do have it and it's getting harder as my pregnancy goes on. We regularly argue about bedtime as I can't sleep knowing he will come in to the room later and no matter how quiet he tries to be I will wake up as I am a light sleeper and he struggles to be really quiet.

He offers to sleep in the spare room often but that makes me sad, we've only been married two years and have no DC yet so think we should sleep together.

It does cause arguments as I am grouchy and tired and he is frustrated. I can see his side of it but AIBU?

Oh wait, I just saw you were expecting him to go to bed at the same time as you. Then YABU. He's an adult, he can come to bed when he wants as long as he doesn't moan he's tired the next day.

Spare room!

YANBU to want to go to bed early.

YABU to ask your husband to do the same.

YABVU to reject his perfectly workable compromise of sleeping in the spare room and to continue to insist that he go to bed at the same time as you.

You are absolutely normal! I used to do similar but would collapse on sofa as soon as I got in for a nap. I have never known tiredness like it. Do it, sleep as much as you need!

Yabu to want him to go to bed so early.

If you already have sleep problems a baby won't help, especially if you breastfeed as then you'll likely be doing most of the night feeds. best discuss now how you will share the nightwork.

I often went to bed at 8.30 during pregnancy!

It's perfectly reasonable for people in a relationship to go to bed at different times. Even in hotels I'm normally fast asleep well before my husband is.