had my first 12 week scan, don't know how to feel

[katerebeccaxxx]

hi all,

i was just wondering how everyone felt after seeing their baby on the screen for the first time? i've just gone 12 week and had my scan yesterday. everything was okay which i was so happy about, but when i came out i didn't feel the "excited" feeling everyone tells me about.

i've spoken to my friends about it and they said i need to cheer up. but i just can't i feel really down. im going to be a single mum as the dad now wants nothing to do with me and is moving away, so i have been coming to terms with all of that.

i just wondered if anyone has felt the same? 😩 i want to enjoy this but i just can't. i don't feel excited about going out and buying nice clothes for it etc i just don't have any motivation anymore. i've spoken to my midwife about how i feel and she just said to speak to my GP who said it's just "hormones". fair enough, but is there anything i can do to cope with this feeling as i feel guilty. i am very lucky to be pregnant and i wouldn't of ever dreamed of getting rid of it. i just can't seem to put my finger on it....

any help would appreciated! thank you x

I think you need to get a handle on it while you're pregnant. It's bloody hard work when baby comes (and I have a partner) and I struggled with feeling low. I never saw anyone about it but I had the onset of PND. You really cant suffer especially on your own. Have a serious chat with someone you can trust. Sometimes just venting helps but I think you need to push again with the GP. Sorry if I sound very abrupt but it's definitely something that can't be palmed off. All the best

@anutteridiot thank you for your response! yeah that's what i thought, i'm just trying to get over this relationship it's a lot to deal with.

he keeps coming in and out, trying to text me to see how i am yet i've been told he's been taking other ladies away for the weekend! i really hope i feel better soon, and that it doesn't effect me when the baby is born as that will be my number one priority! Thank you for the reassurance lovely ☺️

@bringmetea123 thank you so much! this is what i was worrying about, if i feel like this now god knows what i'll be like when the baby is here. i'm seeing the doctor on Friday as all she did was give me time off work, so i'm literally going to beg for some other advice and support as i just can't cope with feeling so up and down all the time. You don't sound abrupt at all! your opinion is much appreciated, thank you for the advice. Take care 😊

I didn't feel excited about pregnancy until Labour! I found the whole responsibility stressful as it was my body keeping him alive and I wasn't sure it was up to the job (family history of miscarriage).

Now pregnant with another one and much happier and chilled out this time!

Don't worry I felt exactly the same. I didn't feel how I expected to feel after both scans, the reality hit me and made me feel quite down. You might feel up and down and you will probably feel guilty for having those feelings but you can't help it. Iv really beat myself up about bonding properly straight away with my baby but I'm only just starting to feel a bit better about things now and I'm 22 weeks.

Don't feel bad it's quite normal, everyone feels differently xx

I felt exactly the same, no excitement at all just abit ambivelant really. Got nervous for 20 week scan so thought I must care/ be excited, it lasted all of a day or so!! Dont get me wrong Im not unhappy, I'm certainly not depressed, its just this part doesnt bother me! Like pp, I dont like the responsibility, all the baby talk and body changes but I dont think that means ill love my baby any less. Horses for courses, some women adore being pregnant and all that comes with it, im just not one of them!!! Xx

There is no rule book that says you must feel happy or excited. Not everyone does.

How you feel is how you feel. Your emotions are as valid as anyone else's.

You do sound very down, though. Sure, it could be hormonal, but TBH you've also got a lot on your plate with an ex who wants to have his fun without commitment or responsibility.

I found it hard to feel excited until the twenty week scan but more when I actually looked pregnant and felt movement. Before that time it's didn't feel that real, glad she was okay but the belly creature basically made me feel sick and tired/hormonal. The midwife should be on your side do try and see someone if your mood doesn't lift x

Even at nearly 24 weeks I don't get excited. It all still surreal to me and I'm having twins.

Gosh twins would defo feel odd X X