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Original poster

Finding out yes or no??

25 replies

xflipflopx · 12/06/2017 21:36

Hi all I'm currently 21 weeks with dc3 and have regular scans due to a health problem but (hopefully) the scans will finish after the next two. I have been asked for the last 8 weeks if I'd like to know the sex and i have said no as I thought I don't want to know but as the scans are (hopefully) coming to an end I'm feeling like I should find out...(hopefully because health problem will have finished not because I can't be bothered to go to them)
I already have dd and ds so not desperate to know but not sure what to do.
So my question is
Did you regret finding out? Those of you who didn't was it so amazing at birth to have that surprise baby?

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mummy2pickle · 12/06/2017 21:42

I have a 3 yr old dd and now 36 weeks pregnant with dc2. I didn't and haven't found out with either of them. I'm like you have had many extra scans but have resisted it. I found it makes the pregnancy much more exciting and the suspense is great although can be frustrating! I also found it made my labour slightly more enjoyable and exciting as every push was a step closer to finding out if I had a dd or ds.
I would recommend any new mums to have a surprise, we don't get many in life and this has to be the best surprise. But I totally understand why people do find out as well, for planning and preparing things.

Oysterbabe · 12/06/2017 21:44

I didn't find out with DD and it was a lovely moment when DH told me at the birth. We'll do the same this time.

HoleySock · 12/06/2017 21:49

OP Did you know with your others?

Original poster
xflipflopx · 12/06/2017 21:55

@HoleySock yes I found out with both my previous which is why I was determined not to this time.
I'm not organised at all yet and I know we still have a while but just feeling like I might pull my finger out if I knew what I was having. At the same time I want the surprise and dd wants a girl and ds wants a boy so not knowing would defo save an argument! Smile
I guess it's because I know times running out...

OP posts:
arbrighton · 12/06/2017 22:13

We didn't at 20 week and I've not been asked at the 3 growth scans since although I think if I hadn't averted my eyes last time, I might have seen.

Everybody asks 'boy or girl' as first question. And seems soooooooooooooooooo surprised that we don't know, don't have a preference etcetc

Wouldn't dress them in 'boy' or 'girl' clothes anyway and certainly wouldn't have bought any pink paint etcetc

I do sometimes wonder if I should have found out but as I'm 37 weeks tomorrow, it'll not be a surprise too much longer. 3 family members have said girl and as we have no girl names ready, that's probably what we're having methinks, sod's law

haveacupoftea · 13/06/2017 00:22

I found out and I don't regret it for a second. When we looked at the scan together and saw we were having a boy it was the most magical special moment. And meeting him for the first time was so amazing I can't even describe it. It certainly wasn't any less special for knowing he was a boy.

HoleySock · 13/06/2017 01:53

We found out with our first and had surprises for 2 and 3. In all honesty the surprise made it all so much more special ❤️

newbian · 13/06/2017 02:20

It's always a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or 40! No right or wrong Smile

We found out at the 20 week scan and plan to again, just prefer to know "who" is in there haha. Also this is our second and probably last, I'll know if I need to get rid of a lot of very girly things given to us for DD if it's a boy this time, for example.

SelfObsessionHoney · 13/06/2017 03:46

We've decided not to find out.
DP would have preferred to know but it was one of my vetos Grin
For me it's that there are few real true surprises in life and this baby even being conceived was one of them and not finding out the sex just added an extra layer of magic to it for me.
We hopefully plan on DP telling me the sex when I deliver.

calimommy · 13/06/2017 05:06

Didn't find out with my first 2, that was lovely and a nice surprise (two boys). Then this time we are in different circumstances (moved abroad and new health system) and decided to find out because this will likely be our last so I wanted to know if I should keep or throw away all of my boys clothes. Keep! Boy 3 en route 😝😍 but for some reason it was the right thing to do this time (helped me bond a bit with the idea of a new baby because we are away from home) whereas before I think I was nice to wait. Also I had the full work up done at 9 weeks here and one of the things they test for is the gender, so I knew it would be in my file...waiting for me to see it 😬😬 waiting is also lovely though xxx

AnyFarrahFowler · 13/06/2017 11:49

We didn't find out with DS and we had a very special moment in the delivery room when DH announced "Its a BOY!" I'm so glad we did it that way for our first.
This time around I felt differently and we found out last week (a DD this time) but the exciting feeling of not knowing which sex you're having is a really lovely experience.

DuggeeHugs · 13/06/2017 11:54

We waited until the birth last time (even though DH wasn't too keen at first) and it was great! All the theatre staff and ward midwives were excited to find out too (I'd been in almost a week by the time I gave birth) so there was a lovely atmosphere, even though it was an EMCS.

We're due next month and have chosen to find out on the day again this time because it was such a nice experience last time. It hasn't been a straightforward pregnancy this time either so knowing we have this extra bit to look forward to is special Smile

Original poster
xflipflopx · 13/06/2017 12:30

Aww thank you ladies for your stories it's so lovely to hear them all. I go from minute to minute changing my mind. It'll be lovely having my dh tell me at birth. my scan is this afternoon so I think I'm going to see how I feel when I get in there.
Boy...girl... either way it doesn't matter to me as i honestly don't mind

OP posts:
2ducks2ducklings · 13/06/2017 13:59

I'm on the fence with this. I was adamant that I wouldn't be finding out this time, but I'm wavering a bit now. The only reason is down to baby names! I have a billion girls name I could choose from but no boys names at all. If we found out at an earlier stage we were having a boy, we could spend the next 20 weeks trying to agree on boys names.

ExConstance · 13/06/2017 14:00

I didn't find out with either of mine. Labour can be difficult and knowing you have a wonderful surprise at the end of it made me as excited as Christmas.

Sundaygal · 13/06/2017 14:50

Same boat as you ... we have a boy and a girl and this is our last. I have no preference and will be happy with either. My son want a boy, and my daughter wants a girl ... We found out with the first 2, but decided that with this one we'd wait. My Dh was ok with waiting this one time! I've got about a week left to wait and am so excited and glad that I held off this time. Such a short wait left to know!! whooohooo

BringMeTea123 · 13/06/2017 14:54

I have a little boy who is nearly 8 months old. We didn't find out the sex while I was pregnant but weirdly I said the whole way through I think it's a boy! Had a lot of people also thinking boy. It was amazing not really knowing and my partner told me when he was born that it's a boy. Strange how I just had a feeling the whole way through that he was a boy

Original poster
xflipflopx · 13/06/2017 19:45

Ok guys I'm making this the longest sex reveal ever...I got the sex put into a sealed envelope!! Now debating whether to open it haha I should just get on with it it does seem silly not to now I have it there staring at me!!! By the way never been like this before I have always straight down the line with things like this.

OP posts:
MyCalmX · 13/06/2017 19:50

We didn't with dd1 but did with dd2. It was a lovely surprise with dd1 and I was really unsettled during my second pregnancy and finding out was dd2 was really what I needed and I started to enjoy my pregnancy after that.

Plus I'd kept everything of dd1 so wanted to crack on with sorting and washing them.

calimommy · 13/06/2017 21:30

Well?? 😝

Oysterbabe · 13/06/2017 21:35

You know you're going to look so you might as well crack on and tell us :)

Original poster
xflipflopx · 14/06/2017 08:32

Still sealedGrin

OP posts:
HoleySock · 14/06/2017 11:53

@xflipflopx you're killing me!

kel1234 · 17/06/2017 21:18

I always said I'd never ever find out the sex until the birth. I loved the idea of that moment at the birth when the midwife says "it's a girl/boy".
Personally I think it's so much more special to find out the sex and then have your baby in your arms (all being well of course), than to find out at the scan and be handed pictures as you leave.
My husband wasn't too happy as he really wanted to know at first (we had 2 friends both pregnant and who both knew what they were having, so I think that made it worse for him). After both scans (we could of found out at the first as it was late), he was disappointed after, but I just said to him you will regret it. So anyway I gave birth and the midwife told us. He was sat holding our son while o had my stitches done, and he said "you were defiantly right not to find out, I would have regretted it. Thank you. I definitely don't want to know next time" (we knew we want one of each so knew we'd have another).
So I'd never find out. There wasn't even a tiny part of me that wondered or wanted to know.

MummyGofboys · 17/06/2017 21:28

We have 2ds and won't be finding out this time. We found out with both and because this is our last it would be nice to have a surprise xx

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