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Anybody else feel this way?

1 reply

user1497221067 · 12/06/2017 00:07

Anybody else's parents or anyone else for that matter make them feel like they are going to be a bad parent? My mam and dad are amazing people and I love them to pieces but they keep making remarks about myself and my partner making us feel like they are expecting us to fail as parents for example they keep saying 'don't be palming her off to us when she cries' and 'i can imagine you going out for the day with no bottles no nappies or anything' just little comments like that keep upsetting me and they keep laughing imagining me during childbirth as I have refused even the idea of an epidural saying they wish they could see me struggle because I won't be able to cope, they also want to have my baby sleep over at their house when she is less than a week old, l I understand it is their first grandchild and they are very excited but I feel like they aren't giving me and my
Partner a chance to enjoy the last few weeks of pregnancy and to be excited for her arrival, oh also they are disgusted that I don't want my mother as my birthing partner and I just want my other half and they have said the minute she is born they will be in the room to see her regardless of what I have said because I stated that I'd like to spend the first 1/2 an hour at least with just me my partner and my little girl to embrace her ourselves. My parents paid for her pram which was expensive and have also bought us a lot of things for her (by choice) so I feel like telling them to back off they will think 'oh she's got what she wanted off us' now she's not going to let us be involved, I really want them to be involved and for them to enjoy their grandchild but how do I make them see that me and my other half are so excited and want to spend as much time bonding with her as possible ?

OP posts:
supermoon15 · 12/06/2017 08:17

Hello- I just want to say that you really must try to enjoy your last few weeks being pregnant and the birth of your child as it is possibly the most precious experience that you will have with your OH.
My Mum was meant to be with me for mine but my LO came early and my Mum was away. I called her to say I thought I was in labour and the first thing she said was "Oh no, it's so painful". The negativity just shot me down after I had been doing great for hours with my breathing and positive affirmations. It made me realise that she was not meant to be there! I was able to refocus and had the best day ever. I also chose not to have any drugs and I forgot the gas was there so I did not have that either. I was lucky to have a home birth in a hot tub so I was really relaxed. You will assess how you feel on the day, your body and your baby will know what to do, trust in it. You were made for this. Take energy from all the mothers before you and all that are on the same journey as you on the day.
As far as your parents wanting to be there straight after the birth that is natural but they will only know you have actually given birth when your partner tells them so you could give yourself time and just say you were so caught in the moment and called a soon as you could. Try to forgive your parents their current insensitivities. Is this their first Grandchild? Maybe the truth is that they are nervous too and so are putting their fears onto you without even realising it. As far as them suggesting that you will be forgetting nappies etc even if that is the case as long as you have remembered your purse you are never too far away from a shop in this country! I wish you luck on the last part of your journey and always remember you are a good mother.

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