Partners and scans

[Presh1234]

Just wondering- does everyone's partner/husband go with them for all appointments? I had an early one at 6 weeks and have another tmrw (8+6). Husband says there's no point him going to this one as its always all about me anyway at this stage. I don't mind but I feel he will miss out on seeing the bean wriggling on the screen and developing and I'll be sitting like a saddo on my own.

Just to add. He has three grown up children and non of this was available to him the first time around. He's also a bit older and feels awkward I think. He's generally very good about these things.

Hi Presh1234
My partner came with me to the 8 week appointment which was the booking in appointment with our midwife. It was useful him being there as they went through all of my history/medical stuff as well as his. It was a lot of form filling and checks on me-blood/urine/weight etc but it did help as some of his medical stuff I didn't know!

This is our second baby DH only comes to the scans and is entitled to attend two with re work commitments etc...he doesn't come to the midwife aps as that is just about how I'm doing and baby. Just ask him to come with you as you feel like you need the support once they have seen the baby its okay for them, but we feel all sorts of emotions and the baby so our connection to scans etc is so much more important to us then it maybe to them....if he doesn't want to then could you take your mum or friend? You shouldn't have to do it alone x

He came to al scans and the booking in appointment. Helpful to have him at the booking in one to give his medical history. Good to have him at the scans so he can see the bean, but also at scans they check for problems, and if they had found a problem I would have hated to be there alone to find out by myself.

Hasn't come to other midwife apts, which are generally all about me and would be boring for him.

Will be coming to NCT classes, but not to NHS antenatal due to them being at an inconvenient time.

My partner comes to scans but ordinary midwife appointments I go by myself to. I think scans are amazing experiences so I'd feel sad if my partner didn't come as it's his own baby in there.

Is there anyone else who can go with you if he really didn't want to go? Friend/family member that you're close to? Just so you're not on your own

DH has come to some scans (I've had lots so far). My 12 week scan he had to stay home and look after DS as children not allowed, and one of my early pregnancy scans, same situation.

We had a gender scan yesterday at 18 weeks, so now he might not come to anomaly scan. Might do as it will be nice to have someone to keep me company (long appt!) and have already sorted childcare.

Absolutely no point him coming to midwife appts, they're just in-an-out and very dull. He hasn't been to either of my booking appointments either - what a dull way to spend time off work! Form filling, waiting around, no point him being there.

DH came to my scans only. Think that's when it's good to have them especially at the 20 week scan when they check the baby to make sure everything is okay.

I found the midwife apps quite dull most of the time so wouldn't expect him to come to those. However, if you're anxious about them or not having a straight forward pregnancy then ask him to come for sure.

DP came to the 12 week scans only, he wanted to come and see the baby and I wanted him there for support especially for our first baby.

He didn't come to any of the other scans (and I had them every week or 2 with DC2 due to medical issues) and I didn't need him to, we saw the scans as part of my medical care like the midwife appointments and blood tests (which he would not have attended) rather than an opportunity to 'meet the baby'.

My husband came to all my appointments. He wanted to.

Wow thanks for all the replies. I'm not in uk, I'm an overseas expat. Originally from Ireland. It's all so different here. So I had an early scan due to high risk (38 so ancient!!), this one is where she wants to discuss the chromosome testing. We have them every month here up until 6 months, the twice a month for month 7 and every week from month 8 onwards. When we have an obstetrician appointment, we also have a midwife appointment so they aren't done separately. I think picketfences that's my main reason, in case something is wrong and I don't want to be on my own. Obviously being an expat, I've no immediate family here and haven't told my friends here yet because of job situation. It's all so complicated!!

He only comes to the scans. I'm high risk and have to have a bazillion appointments so need him to watch DD.

So far, he's been to the 12 and 20 week scans, and the anti D appt as it said hang around in dept in case you don't feel quite right so I thought I might not be ok to drive.

Not a single midwife appt even booking in (but then we discussed beforehand so I checked I knew the relevant bits of his family's medical stuff) , partly as their ability to be on time is non-existent, partly as i'm actually fiercely independent and am happy to go on my own then ring him after. It's an hour round trip for him home, and he's only entitled to take 2 antenatal appts through work (which I think he used on 20 wk scan and antiD, the 12 week one was between xmas and new year so he was off anyway)

Now as for the growth scans. First I went on my own. REalised I was only person without anyone with them in the waiting room at the antenatal clinic- that day, it's high risk patients mixed with 12 week scans. So my mum came to the second one. That was actually really nice as she hadn't had a scan with me, in the early 80s. 3rd growth scan, on my own again but, as bean has decided to have a growth spurt and we might need to talk about induction on the final one this week, have asked DH to come. He's booked the day off as we have some last minute bits to buy too.

DH came to the 12 and 20 week scans with me, but not to the two early pregnancy ones I had (fertility treatment) or the later growth scans. He only came to my very last midwife appointment at 41 weeks because I wasn't comfortable driving by then, and my first consultant appointment which was around 24 weeks.

OH only came to the scans (I had 3 as I had to have an early one at 7 weeks) and then none of the other appointments. He did come to the hospital after work when I was admitted for overnight monitoring but there's was no need for him to be at any of the other appointments.

My DP went to the first midwife appointment and has been to all the scans with me, but not the later midwife appointments.
It's our first though so he's very excited!