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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Surrogacy and donor eggs - would you..?

31 replies

mollipops · 17/06/2002 07:00

These topics are big in the news here at the moment, since a Melbourne woman was recently charged with trying to sell her baby to a US couple over the internet for $10,000. The pregancy was a result of this woman having been a rape victim. She changed her mind once the baby was born, but she has been in foster care since then (she is now a year old I think).

When the news covered the story they also mentioned a website where this woman advertised the baby, where lots of mums and hopeful-parents-to-be advertise either to be a surrogate or to "buy" a baby. There are other women who advertise to donate/sell eggs. Just wondered what all the mumsnetters think about all this? Would you be prepared to carry a baby for another couple, or a relative who is unable to have her own (either for free or for money)? Would you consider either donating or selling your eggs? Personally while I admire the idea of allowing childless couples to be able to have children, I don't think I could carry a baby full-term and then just give it away, nor do I think I would feel comfortable with giving away (or selling) my eggs, even though they are in effect being "wasted" every cycle, since we do not plan to have any more children ourselves... But there are so many other ways to "help" childless couples these days, with GIFT and IVF, plus of course legal adoption...although I believe the waiting lists are very long and all these options are expensive and can take a long time.

Over to you...

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
CAM · 19/06/2002 13:54

I can stop worrying about you for the moment Marina - but keep taking it easy!

star · 20/06/2002 13:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

winnie1 · 20/06/2002 13:20

Marina, haven't been on for ages but saw your message and just had to post. Congratulations... thinking of you... good luck Winniex

Bumblelion · 20/06/2002 14:48

First, Marina - fingers and everything crossed for you. I had spotting with my second born and had an assesment at the early pregnancy clinic at hospital and everything was fine.

Surrogacy and donor eggs ...

Surrogacy - perhaps I am being selfish but I don't think I could carry someone elses baby and then have to give it up. For me, that special moment when you have given birth and they hand their baby to you is the most precious on earth and I don't think I would be strong enough a person to then be able to hand the baby over. I wish I was a stronger person and could give someone else the opportunity of having their own baby, but unfortunately I don't think I could.

Donor Eggs - apart from the fact I also am too old(!), again I don't think I could donate any of my eggs although, as mentioned further down the thread, each month they are disposed of. I just don't think I could mentally handle the thought of a part of me being somewhere else and not with me.

Saying both of those things, obviously, as I am lucky enough to have 3 children of my own I would be absolutely devastated as the thought of not being able to have children and then, obviously, my thoughts might be completely different.

Dixie · 05/11/2003 01:08

I have been considering egg donation for a while but even more so recently due to a friends dilemma.

I don't want to reveal all her dilemma but to cut a long story short she is now reaching an age where it is obvious it is part of the problem. She is so desperate to have a child & feels time is running out.

I have therefore wondered if egg donation is something that may help her. I would consider donating eggs for her(I have not discussed this with her yet as I would like to know the facts first).

Is this something two individuals can go & arrange?
Would I be able to donante my eggs to my friend or do I not get the option of where they go?

What would be involved for both of us?
How long would I be off work?
Is it painful for either of us?
How much is something like this to cost?
Would her age mean she would not be permitted to have this procedure?
Is there any criteria as an egg donor I would need to 'fit'.
I would dearly like to assist other women in this position but would like to help my friend first...is this such a wrong way of thinking?

CONNEELY · 05/11/2003 07:52

This is something that i have thought long and hard about....I would love to donate my eggs and posible have a baby for another couple,once my familly has grown in size,I have the age on my side,so am lucky in that respect..
As i have only 1 ovary and fallp tube,i didnt think i would beable to concieve,and the thought of never having children was to much to bear..
Most of my friends who are much older have been trying for years to no joy,but i couldnt put my own chances of concieving at a risk to donate eggs to others,at the moment.

It would put alot of strain on my husband and child,so i still have to do more research and weigh up the pros with the cons,but once my familly is complete,then its something that i would consider.
IMO when your trying for a longed baby then nothing else matters and if i could make just one decent childless couple feel the way i feel right now then surly all the pain and tears will be worth it.....

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