Pregnancy and partner giving me hard time

[dublingirl48653]

Hello all

9 weeks pregnant
Extreme highs and utterly devastating lows
Partner giving me a hard time - everything I do is wrong
Kitchen not clean, clothes not hung up properly, cutlery in wrong place
To name a few

Getting me down - he says it's just my hormones
Ready to walk now just need a back up plan in place

It depends! He sounds controlling and unreasonable from the little you have said, however, you may be overreacting due to massive hormone fluctuations at the moment.

Questions. Do you both work?
What do you mean by clothes not hung up properly?
Why is the cutlery in the wrong place?

Sorry posted too soon by accident.

Does he demand perfection? If so what does he do if you don't do what he wants i.e. Silent treatment, sulking etc

Need more information to properly know whether you would be right to walk.

"you may be overreacting due to massive hormone fluctuations at the moment"

I hate it when people say this to pregnant women. Yes pregnancy makes us hormonal but we are still capable of rational thought thank you very much.

It is a well known fact that men can begin to show abusive behaviour when their partners are pregnant or have just had a baby.

OP please read these signs of emotional abuse, does he do (m)any things on the list?

I suggest you talk to your midwife about the situation. And do you have supportive family and/or friends?

So when did he hire you to be his personal slave, housekeeper and maid? He doesn't like how the kitchen is cleaned he can do it him-fucking-self or find his own kitchen to keep how he likes.

PS I suggest you get this thread moved to Relationships as I think you'll get more and better advice there.

It is absolutely not your 'hormones', it's him being a controlling, inconsiderate bleep!

I absolutely could not have managed being pregnant without my DH and his support.

I would personally tell him to fuck off and piss off back to live with his mother!

Hi OP,

I can relate to this 😞 I've had my baby now but pregnancy was a hard time.

How does he feel about you being pregnant?

Was he like this before you getting pregnant OP?

Was baby planned?

There is nowhere near enough information from the OP to know what is really going on here. I'm not saying she is overreacting I just said she could be. You do have a very large hormonal surge when newly pregnant and yes it can make very slight things seem very unreasonable. Again I'm not saying she is, just that she needs to expand on what she has said. I am absolutely aware about manipulative and emotionally abusive relationships having suffered at the hands of my stbxh who is a full on covert narcissist who made my life miserable for more years than I care to mention.

Haha my partner said to me yesterday about get of your bum and cook dinner I'm off work with suspected spd can't walk properly or stand and other health conditions I gave him the look he knew he over stepped the mark but he's really good think he forgot who he was talking to for a minute lol xx

Sorry for late reply

Fight sat

Lovely calm day Sunday

Fight earlier - shouting and telling me I abuse him
He was acting shady earlier so i pulled him up on it said it was strange

Google the cycle of abuse. That's exactly what you're going through.

And abusive people always accuse others of being the abusive ones.

Usually a good guy
Cheated at start of relationship so now I get nervous when he isn't around when I get home (without any clear reason what has happened) always assume other woman back on scene

So earlier 3/4 hours not available (out walking apparently)
I brought it up
He flips
I am the abusive one!!!

Neighbours could hear the shouting
That part no longer scares me
Desensitised now sadly

Why have you chosen to have a baby with this man?

That's not very helpful

He can be kind and caring

Only recently seeing this side to him
He flips
Can't seem to control himself

Hitler could be kind and caring.
Sorry love, he sounds like a douche and your standards should be a lot higher. The sooner you realise your own worth the better.

"Can't seem to control himself"

Does he lose his temper at work? With friends? With his parents?

If the answer is no, he can control himself. He's just choosing not to with you.

The only acceptable level of abuse is none.

Yes with family and at work loses temper

Says it is my fault at home

Tuesdays insults - I'm a master manipulator
I am uncaring
I need help for being mentally ill
I am an abuser

Oh and as he stormed out - told me I need to be punished by god
Was crying for four hours made my way to work then had stabbing tummy pains prob related to the abuse :(

May not be helpful but a question you need to ask yourself. If he treats you like this then how will he treat your child? Will you be happy to watch him treat your child in this way? He sounds like a classic abuser and you sound like a classic victim. Get your before he can cause you and your child more damage.

Well, if he loses his temper with everyone, it's clearly not your fault is it?

You're posting a lot of brief updates describing his behaviour. Have you thought about any of the advice you've been given? Did you look at the article I linked to about emotional abuse?

You need to get some real life support and start detaching mentally and emotionally from this poisonous man.

Why on earth have you chosen to have a child with this dickwad. You standards are too low. Do you really want to be stick with this idiot for the next two decades. ?

Thanks for some of helpful replies

Have a plan in place

You are not alone... I m 7 weeks pregnant and my partner has been horrible to me. At least twice a week I m hearing that I should have an abortion. We have been together for 3 years, he has son from previous relationship but I don't get along with the boy... his mum is absolutely absent in his life so I m kind of covering but the Disrespect is getting to me bad that I actually cannot stand the boy. When I m talking to my partner to put the boy in his place then I m hearing all type of swearing and shouting. I m just looking at my option becouse I have to get out of this toxic relationship. Do you think I should have an abortion?

I cannot tell my mum about it cos she is catholic and it would break her heart... but I just think it would be the best decision he even told me today that if I will have this kid it will be bastard...

So sorry to hear this.

How do you plan on getting out??

You got a support system around you?