Help and advice needed please

[Poppy2017]

Hello. I really don't know what to do and need help please. I am 16 weeks pregnant. My baby wasn't planned and I have only just found out. My boyfriend doesn't want anything to do with it or me if I go ahead which I want to do. He already has 3 children and doesn't want any more. He is 46 and I am 25. He has thrown me out of his flat so I am living with friends short term. I have little money and only a part time 25 hours a week job as a receptionist in an optician which I have been doing for 3 years. He said I can go back if I get rid of my baby. He is being very cruel and will not discuss with me. Everything is about his 3 children who he sees every weekend. He won't let me meet them. I don't know what to do. I want my baby but how can I?

If you want your baby, you will be able to keep it. It may be hard but you will both be ok, with or without the father.

Do you have any RL support? Parents, siblings? Do you friends know about your situation? See if you find someone to hand hold.

Can you contact the council about your need to be homed? Hopefully, someone more clued up can help here.

The father will be liable for child maintenance and you will receive child benefit and possibly tax credits. Statutory maternity pay will be available.

Do not be blackmailed into doing what he wants. Your body, your decision. You will be ok.

Sorry to hear that your boyfriend is being so unpleasant to you. He sounds absolutely awful. I think you should end the relationship. If you decide to continue with the pregnancy, I think you and the baby would be much better off without him in your lives.

So you need to make your decision on the basis that you will be a single mother. It will be difficult but still doable if that's what you want. It's good that you have friends helping you out at the moment - do you have any supportive family?

In terms of practicalities, if you decide to continue with the pregnancy, I suggest you contact your local council about housing, as a homeless, single pregnant woman you will be eligible and high priority for social housing. You will probably be eligible for housing benefit to help you pay the rent. And once the baby is born you might be entitled to Child Tax Credits as well as Child Benefit. If you want more information and advice about housing and benefits, I suggest you visit or call your local Citizens Advice.

And lastly if you want some support to make the decision about whether to continue the pregnancy, I suggest you see your GP or call BPAS/Marie Stopes and ask about counselling. The counsellor will support you without pressuring you either way.

"you will both be ok, with or without the father."

I think they are more likely to be ok without him than with him. He's a nasty bully.

If you want your baby, please keep your baby!

You're in a tough situation now and I can't imagine how you're feeling but believe me if you have a termination you don't want, you're going to really really struggle. Also, do not go back to him!!!! Could you honestly go back after a termination and carry on like before? He's cruel. Just because he doesn't want the baby, he helped create it unfortunately it's his responsibility!

Honestly, pregnancy and motherhood are hard but believe me when I say you will NEVER feel love like the love you will have for your child. I suffer awful anxiety and have always had terrible self confidence and esteem. I don't know what is is but since I had my son im so much happier in myself and so confident. I have such a positive outlook even when times are hard. And that's because whatever happens, I have my son and he has me. He is my reason for everything and I'm sure your little one would be the making of you.

I'm sorry for being so one sided and whatever you choose is the right thing for you! I just hate to think of someone who wants their baby having a termination they don't want.