Fear of pregnancy

[user1490285009]

Hi ladies, firstly let me say that I feel quite bad for committing this text. But it's a feeling I just can't shake off. I'm 14 weeks pregnant with first baby and as my body begins to change ( belly little more protruding) I find myself being quite disgusted by it. It really creeps me out that my belly is firm but protruding. It feels unnatural.

Even a week ago when I had my dating scan, I had to physically turn away from the scan the first few mins because it was frightening to see something moving inside me. I almost threw up at the idea.

I feel awful for writing this. I know pregnancy is a great blessing. Intellectually I know I am greatful for it. But in my gut ( no pun intended) I also feels deeply disturbed by having a living human inside me. Before the pregnancy I imagined myself being all Mother Earth and walking around with my baby bump. But now it's coming I'm weirded out by it. I also deeply afraid of feeling baby movement. I had no idea I might feel like this prior to getting pregnant.

Have you ever felt like this? Did you get over it? Any advice would be much appreciated. I actually don't know what I'm going to do when it gets really big and the baby starts to kick.

Hello
firstly please don't worry about feeling like this. Pregnancy takes us through so many changes emotionally and physically it sounds to me like you are feeling overwhelmed and then feeling guilty about having negative thoughts. Have you got a partner or family supporting you through your pregnancy? or a close friend you can confide in? It's a lot to get your head around. It's important to remember that the pregnancy will not last forever and when your baby is born I'm sure you will love your baby unconditionally. Feeling your baby moving is very strange and can be uncomfortable at times - mine makes me jump when she suddenly kicks! But it's reassuring as well to feel them move. I hope you get the support you need xx

Motherchuckinhen16 thank you for your supportive words

Bless you. I'm nearly 22 weeks with my first and definitely found the physical changes between 16-20 weeks harder to manage than I'd imagined. My stomach 'popped', I get out of breath going up and down stairs (previously relatively fit!) and to add to the glory my nipples have doubled in size along with the surrounding boobs. I felt like I was losing my body and out of control and was starting to worry that I wasn't bonding with my unborn child in the way I thought I would. The 20 week scan changed things for me and like the previous poster now that I'm feeling kicks rather than feeling weird and creepy (I saw some truly terrifying YouTube vids of hands emerging from stomachs!) it's actually a lovely feeling and makes all of the physical changes feel worth it if that makes sense.

Pregnancy does bizarre things to our hormones and emotions, please don't feel guilty or bad about how you're feeling at the moment. You may feel completely differently as pregnancy progresses. Take care of yourself xx

Speak to your GP or midwife. hopefully they will be able to refer you for specialist perinatal counselling to help you manage your feelings. How do you feel about giving birth?

Sorry, hit "post" too soon. It sounds like you might have tokophobia - a phobia if pregnancy and childbirth. Even if you don't want to share with your family, you really should talk to your health team as they should be able of offer you support. Best if luck, it must be horrible to feel disgusted by your changing body and to not be looking forward to feeling your baby moving.

At first I was having panic attacks because of the idea of something being inside of me but it's worn off now luckily. If you sit and think about it, it is really strange! Don't watch one born every minute or anything similar if labour is freaking you out, I've avoided any shows like that on purpose! Have a look into the different types of birth to try and put your mind at ease, don't plan too much and go into it thinking whatever happens will happen, whether it be an elected or emergency c-section or natural! If you haven't already, the pregnancy apps can be quite helpful to read through all of the information!