Please share advice and thoughts.
I found out last night. Something niggling at the back of my mind - even though I have no symptoms and I'm only about 5 weeks gone - made me test. I nipped into the chemist on the way home from work and nearly fainted - two lines on a First Response, clear as anything.
I have two DSs of 6 and 4, both conceived after many rounds of IVF. DH's sperm count is practically nil, I have ovarian cysts and I have never, ever conceived naturally. We were told we never would.
This is completely unplanned even though we haven't used any contraception in 12 years. I know that sounds bonkers, but that's because either we were trying very hard to have a baby and then, after we had our family through IVF, it never crossed our mind to use any (naïve, yes, but we had tried everything for years to conceive naturally and nada). We only had sex once this month.
3 or 4 years ago we talked about using our frozen embryos to have a third child, but DH said a firm no - said he was too old (now 44) and he didn't want to go through the stressful baby years again, our family was perfect and I had had pre-eclampsia with DS2. Plus the IVF had been emotionally, physically and financially draining and so would a FET. I was upset and disappointed at first, then completely accepting.
DH is not going to be thrilled. How do I tell him? I worry that the baby will have special needs because we are so old and how it will affect family dynamics. Financially we are comfortable enough, but we are not set up for an unplanned third. The child will be at school when DH is in his 60's.
I wonder if the pregnancy will even continue - higher risk of miscarriage. I don't know whether I want it. But I don't wish it away either.