When did you start your mat leave? Any recommendations?

[Cyee]

Hi everyone,

I'm expecting my first baby on July 8th and I'm trying to work out when I should take my mat leave from.

I don't really want to have too much time before the birth, but have no idea whether that notion might change when I'm the size of a house! I was thinking of leaving on the 26/17th June... 12 days before d-day.

Do you have any recommendations/experiences to share?

Thanks in advance!

C

36 weeks, and the last four of that I used annual leave to leave at 3pm each day (quite a bad ideal considering I live opposite a primary school and so would arrive home in rush hour each day, but I was SO tired). It was alright, DD was born at 40+6, so had a bit longer pre-birth than I'd planned for. But I was talking to a friend who's expecting her second, and she's going to 38 weeks this time, having left at 34 last time - her DS was two weeks late and she was bored stiff. This time she's going on holiday with her entire family over her due date, so not much chance of boredom!

First time 38 weeks and he was 10 days overdue so it seemed like ages before he arrived.

This time I'm not sure I will either give 38 or 40 weeks as my official start for maternity leave depends how I feel 6 weeks before which is the final time I need to give them notice. I have kept back 2 weeks annual leave so I can tag this on to either start date if required.

Although I drive alot with work I will be cutting down on this at the end of the pregnancy and the rest of the time I am based from home and manage my own time which makes it convenient.

For the first I worked until 40 weeks and 6 days - until I went into labour

But was in an office ona big chair that had wheels so I barely needed to move

And I got loads of attention and everyone bought me food

It was fab, wouldn't do it another way!

For the second I worked until I was 40 weeks (actually went 42) because I had to arrange cover for my job and so had to plan when I left

Those final weeks will be the slowest of your life - it would have been torture for me to be sitting on the sofa watching the clock tick. I was much happier carrying on as normal.

40 weeks basically until I went into labour but as someone else said below I too was just sitting at a desk so much easier than at home. It was 40 weeks give or take a few days with all 5 of them including the twins who were born on 40 weeks to the day by chance.

I think it's incredibly personal and it's hard to judge ahead. My best friend who had her first baby six months before me was up all night going to restaurants and nightclubs for the six weeks before she gave birth - she had to give up work at that point (French law) but she was full of beans and wanted to enjoy her freedom before coming a mother.

Whereas I basically went into hibernation for the last couple of months of pregnancy. I was so tired that I slept for about 20 hours a day and just wouldn't have been physically capable of going into an office.

However, I had a much easier labour and birth than my friend and recovered almost instantly from my pregnancy.

My friend has just had no 2. She's in the US now, and so worked full time right up until the day of the birth.

for number 1 i left at 32 weeks but she was born at 35 weeks cos there was so much fluid and she has a congenital abnormality all fixed and ok now though
for number 2 when no 1 was 2 at 36 weeks and was exhausted then , five years later for number 3 at 36 weeks and was really tired and simply could not work due to fatigue and poor concentration - iwas v anaemic too.
for no 4 and the last one for me at 33 weeks on advice due to placenta praevia.
I think everyone pregnancies are different but if you say you will work till say 38 weeks but then feel you arenot well or too tired your gp can give you a sick note and then you can start your maternity leave as if your illnees/inability to work is pregnancy related after 28 weeks then your employer can count this as maternity leave. I think this is still right but have lost track a bit with recent new regs if in doubt the maternity alliance can advise you on your rights.
Good luck remember all that counts is what is right for you its not a competition

Hi I worked in a very physical job which I could only do till week 34. After that I have worked at home and started maternity pay at about 36 wks. It all depends on the job.
I have just under a week to go now and I'm glad I have been at home its been great to relax and get things ready. Also to get out of the mindset of 9-5 and the guilt you feel at first because your at home all day.
I would recommend a swimming class or NCT group as its really nice to chat to other mums.

I can't decide what to do either! Am due on July 27th, had planned to leave at start of July but one thing that concerns me is that my (very small) office gets really hot in the summer. My job isn't too hectic but I remember last summer it was pretty unbearable, even with a fan pointing at me...would I do better to leave earlier? Don't want to get hugely bored waiting though....x

DD1 - I finished 6 weeks before my due date and then she was 2 weeks overdue, I was really bored at home and wished that I had worked longer.

DD2 - Booked in for a c-section at 39 weeks (on a monday), finished work the friday before.

i worked until 3 wks before my due date with DS, and he was a week over due. Bored senseless.

will be working right until he's due this time...don't care if i go into labour at work!

i work in an office too- was spoiled rotten and had very attentive boss. he used to bring me drinks, and when the office was too hot he used to tell me to go home early and even drive me there! Not everyone is that lucky though.

Glittercaz - youre due the same day as me. They must provide you with some form of air conditioniong

I always had long labours so didn't worry about going into labour at work and anyway there would have been hospitals near by. With daughter 2 I felt it starting to happen slowly at work and was still able to get the train home, pick up my bicycle and cycle from the station to home. In fact that exercise was probably very good for getting things going. (My balance was good)

I haven't read the whole thread, so sorry if I'm repeating. I'd say your plan is way too late to finish. I had my DS at 38+1, I think that would be 2 days before you plan to finish?

My SIL finished 2 weeks before her due date, one weeks holiday and one weeks mat leave. She finished on the Friday, was diagnosed with pre-ecampsia on the Sat and was induced on the Monday. Looking back she says that finishing so late had a big contribution to her raised blood pressure and she really wishes she had taken more time off before.

Sorry if thats not what you wanted to hear!

Cyee thanks for that. What I don't want is to ask to go at 38 weeks but then feel when the time comes that I don't want to go. I'd have to cos they'd have arranged cover. But if I plan to go at 40 but then get to 38 and want to go - what can work do to stop me? They can't force me to come to work. I have only had about three days sickness in the three years I've worked here so I think they should be flexible. I know it might sound selfish but I have given a lot to the company and don't see why I should lose out on time with my baby just to make work's life easier.

But, again, I might change my mind after I've put on 3st!

I would put down 40 weeks and you'll probably be fine. Apart from feeling heavier and sweatier I didn't feel any worse at 40 than at 38. Also they might do some doublling over of cover anyway so the person covering for you might start a week before you leave anyway if they can afford that, just in case it comes early as 2 weeks before 40 weeks is within the range of normal anyway.

definitely depends on your job.

I'm taking my annual leave when I'm 31 weeks, and starting my Mat Leave when I'm 35 weeks (so all run into each other).

But I work 9 1/4hr night (9.45pm-7am) shifts in a Care Home so it's pretty physical, and I'm on my feet all night - not to mention don't get much sleep until the following night. I'm struggling now with 2 and a bit weeks to go - so couldn't imagine going any further.

But then if I had a less physically demanding job with more 'sociable' hours I'd probably have worked longer.

Hello - have only read the OP. There was a woman in my office in Dec, a real "super-woman" type who was going to work up to 39 weeks. Our boss gave her paid leave for the last week in the end because she was so miserable and it was too late to change the MAT leave dates.

I'm working up to 33 weeks and I'm damn sorry I didn't take the leave at 29 weeks (which is the earliest you're allowed to). I feel fine, I just can't wait to get out of here, sort my house and my life out and have a rest. (I work very long hours).

We're all different of course and I'm lucky in that I'm taking the full year's maternity leave. If you're taking only 6 months, then I understand you want as much time at the end.

If I were in that position, I'd probably have planned to leave around 36 weeks. Commuting would be far too miserable after that.

Depends on the job. Also I was age 22, 24 and 26 when I was commuting in and pregnant and didn't have difficult pregnancies and felt quite fit. Others have loads of problems. I did sometimes travel in with the twins and sometimes even at 39 weeks no one would offer me a seat on the tube. Sometimes I'd have to stand the aisle and pull back my jacket so those two huge babies were then pretty obviously which usually worked. By 39 weeks I was rather hoping something I did like standing up etc might have brought them on.

i used to get the bus sometimes, when i was enormous. More than once nobody offered me a seat. Once the driver was so angry that i was standing, she was about to get out and demand someone gave me a seat- i was too embarrassed to let her though!

I felt much worse in the first 3 months, even than 39 weeks with twins and yet no one knows you're pregnant then on trains and that was the time when I really could have done with a seat, when I felt so sick.

worked right up till a week before with ds1 but he came a week early so i finished in friday and he was born on sunday. (for monetary reasons btw)

finished at 36weeks with ds2, was as big as a house and dont intend to go back anyway so thought sod it. i was scheduled to finish later but i changed my mind one gruelling afternoon and informed my line manager i was leaving at the end of the week, she had better inform hr! lol

i tried to be fair and i kept telling her she was piling my in tray too high and i was getting stressed but she didnt listen so i legged it!

DS1 - Wanted to work till I dropped but got sent home a few weeks beforehand due to tiredness.

DD1 - Had to finish early b/c I didn't have any childcare cover in the school holidays for DS. She was due mid August and I was at home from mid July - really appreciated spending time with DS and getting the house ready.

This time - I'm due 22nd Sept. Planning on starting ML mid July and taking a few weeks holiday before that meaning I'll be at home from July 1st at 28(ish) weeks. I'm really looking forward to having summer with the kids and being able to prepare for the new arrival. Our house needs lots doing to it and I won't have time before then due to work and tiredness.

My boss however was due this Thursday just gone and was still in the office! She owns the company so I think she's just worried about things while she's away. She is planning on coming back after the two weeks and either bringing baby in with her or working from home. I really admire her but have no intentions of being as dedicated. I guess owning your own company means you can't afford the luxury of time off!?

Not read the whole thread but I think it very much depends on what sort of pregnancy you have. I didn't have a big bump and would easily have been able to work up to the day ds was born if I'd had to. I know other people who were exhausted and counting the days till their mat leave by 30 weeks.

Will you have holidays to take? I finished at 36 weeks but took 2 weeks holiday and then 2 weeks mat leave. Ds was 10 days overdue and my flat was crazily immaculate by the time he was born (I cleaned places that I had never cleaned before and will never again ).

Remember, you can change your mind if it comes to it and you need to finish earlier.

I think it depends also whether you'll be going back afterwards.
With dd, I took 2 weeks annual leave and then started mat leave 4 weeks before due date. So that I could have longer off afterwards.
With ds, I knew I wouldn't be going back, so took 6 weeks annual leave and then the 11 weeks maternity leave. So I left the day after my 23 week scan. So glad I did, because I had the whole summer with my dd before ds arrived.