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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Would you be happy not seeing your midwife?

12 replies

BibiThree · 15/03/2007 12:01

I've not been a fan of community midwives since I had my DD, for reasons I've whinged about on here before, but don't know if I should feel annoyed or happy that I haven't seen her since my booking in appointment and won't see her now until I'm 24 weeks.

My situation being how it is means I'm at the hospital every fortnight for scan and urine/bp check etc, so I really don't need to see her. And tbh, I always found it a bind taking the time out of work, getting to the clinic, finding parking etc, only to wait in the waiting room for an hour or more for a 5 minute appointment.

I'm quite happy with the set up but dh thinks I should see her every 4 weeks at least so I can discuss concerns and just have someone to talk to.

What do you lot think?

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lulumama · 15/03/2007 12:16

if you are at the hospital having regular check ups every fortnight, then i don;t suppose you need to see the midwife aswell......as long as your BP & urine are being checked .... can you discuss any concerns at the hospital?

jabuti · 15/03/2007 12:20

funny you posted this, because i was just thinking about it this week, that soon my midwife will be contacting me for an appt and i was thinking that is the only part of the antenatal that doesnt do much for me.

i have met 2 midwifes so far, both really nice. but i dont see any need to meet them? they take my blood pressure, listen to the baby's heartbeat and thats it. i have scans done every four weeks, so i can always ask my questions in the hospital too... and if i have any concern at all, mostly likely i would like to see my gp anyway. so i think its a bit of a waste of time for me.

jabuti · 15/03/2007 12:22

ha! lulumama always a step ahead.... i guess i fit in her description.

BlueberryPancake · 15/03/2007 12:28

So much depends on the midwife. During first pregnancy, my midwife was fantastic - she was warm, friendly, helpful, inspiring and reassuring which was great as I was quite anxious about the whole thing. I was always looking forward to seeing her. When she'd put the little baby monitor on to listen to the heartbeat she would always smile and say someting nice (like "hello little one, your mummy wants to hear you! Is it cozy in there? She can't wait to meet you!"). This time around, I've moved and changed hospital and I haven't seen the same midwife twice, it's a pain in the neck to get to, parking is a problem, they are not friendly it's all so clinical. So I just don't want to go!!

lulumama · 15/03/2007 12:33

LOL !!! definitely BP.....when pregnant with DD, the midwife i saw regularly went to work for surestart, so i had to see different midwives, and every time, explain about wanting a VBAC, and say, no i;m not having a c.s again.... which did annoy me , but i went as i was not having regular checks elsewhere

but it is really important to have your BP & Urine checked for protein and sugar , as long as that is done regularly, then you don;t need to double up IMHO....

BUT it is vital to have your BP & urine checked as these can give first indications of issues that can need monitoring.

Original poster

BibiThree · 15/03/2007 12:36

My main moan was that they didn't seem to be able to answer any of my questions anyway. I got one of three stock answers to anything I asked:

It's just one of those pregnancy things
Well, all pregnancies are diffrent, or
I've never heard of that.

I can see the consultant at the hospital too, so any questions can be put to him, but I think DH thinks a midwife cold perform a mroe supportive, nurturing role thana busy, time-pressed consultant.

I don't want this to turn into a midwife bashing thread, and I have to say my current one is a million times nicer than the previous ones I've had, and is always chatty, friendly etc.

OP posts:

LieselVentouse · 15/03/2007 13:19

No I would demand to see her - but then thats why they wrote pyscotic biatch on my notes.

phdlife · 15/03/2007 13:26

a midwife could provide a more supportive, nurturing role than a consultant, but doesn't necessarily (won't go on about this again!)

Interesting what lulumama says - 1st two appts I was told to bring urine sample and then sent home with it so haven't bothered since! Last time (34 week check) MW wanted to know if I'd brought it, said I should've, then shrugged and said oh well next time (37 week check). Is this another reason for me not to like her?

Lemmiwinks · 15/03/2007 14:04

Appointments to see her every four weeks as your DH wants sounds a bit excessive if you are having an uncomplicated pregnancy so I don't think that's at all necessary. You don't need to see her or your GP (if you're having shared care) before 24 weeks once you've had your booking appointment anyway if there's no problems or concerns.

I'm happy to not see my midwife, I have virtually all of my appointments with my GP, even the ones that I could go to the midwife for. It means I probably won't see her more then 2 times throughout my whole pregnancy, which is fine by me. I don't feel any need to see her, I pefer my GP who I've been going to since I was a kid and I have complete trust in him whereas I don't really know the midwife at all. She's very nice and all that, but the appointments don't do anything for me. I see her as more of a nurse who takes my blood pressure if you know what I mean.

I think some people turn to their midwife almost like a guru or councellor. If someone needs that from their midwife then that's fine but if you don't feel the need for that kind of thing, there's no reason to see your midwife unless necessary. I also call my GP if I have any questions, not my midwife, I just feel more comfortable with that. As long as you make all the routine appointments and scans, it sounds perfectly normal to me.

Lemmiwinks · 15/03/2007 14:13

Just reread what you said bibithree, so I'm backtracking on what I said about an uncomplicated pregnancy if you have to go in every fortnight. Whoops, my mistake! However, even more so if you are being seen to that often by the hospital then it seems the midwife wouldn't have much to add under the circumstances.

Original poster

BibiThree · 15/03/2007 15:54

Was just curious to see to what extent people like seeing their midwives and do they get a lot from it.

I have a friend who loved her community midwife, got on fabulously with her, had her for both her pregnancies and got a lot out of the appointments with her. I never felt like that, I felt like I was just another nuisance first time mother who asked her stupid questions all the time.

Still, horses for courses, eh? As long as my babies are fine, I'm fine.

OP posts:

phdlife · 15/03/2007 18:07

Bibi, I started a whole thread about not liking mine - can't see the point of her at all and don't get anything much from seeing her except a nice walk and a piece of cake at the nearby deli!

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