To find out the sex or not?

[newmumtobe86]

I really can't decide if to find out the sex or not...

I did with my first....

Was adamant I wasn't going to for my second but I had a moment of weakness at the 20 week scan and I asked to know.

Mind you, we haven't told anyone we know the sex and I'm having lots of fun pretending to not know and I'm enjoying listening to everyone's theories about whether it's a boy or girl

Haha I love that! Maybe I'll do the same 😊

It's funny because about 75% of people have said, "It's DEFINITELY a girl, I can just tell...." And I simply smile to myself in the knowledge that it's a boy

I did with both and was thrilled knowing and visualising. It really helped during the last incredibly boring half of the pregnancy.

But some people feel strongly about it being a suprise.

I did and haven't regretted it for a second. Really helped with bonding, knowing what to buy and just one less thing to fret over really. I also worried that when handed the baby I'd mourn the son or daughter that was never there if that makes sense. No worries about that when you already know

I always have. I wanted to be able to say she or he and discuss names for just one sex.

Had a friend who didn't find out and started hugely stressing about it after then paid for a private gender scan. If you could afford that, you could put the money aside, not find out at your NHS scan and then if it's really bugging you, go for a private scan later.

have yes I was really surprised how much I mourned the 'baby that wasn't' this time...even though already have one of each and wasn't bothered either way?! Just hormones I guess but I'd hate to feel like that at the birth.

We've decided not to know. I like the idea of a surprise and we're planning to be fairly gender neutral / avoid stereotypes where possible anyway.

Yes, if you're secretly hoping it's X rather than Y, it's best to find out in advance. By the time the birth comes around you're 100% on board with whatever it actually is.

DP and I initially thought we wanted a 'surprise' and to wait until baby was born to know if it was a boy or a girl, but we caved in at the 20 week scan and asked to know, sonographer had already said 'she' when referring to the baby. It's a surprise at any stage and for us it made the baby more real and tangible as a person knowing she was a girl, rather than being a genderless blob. Wasn't fussed about buying specific boys or girls things, most of DDs stuff is unisex and was bought after we knew the sex, but I do see why people want to know if they are doing nursery in traditional blue for boys pink for girls etc. I think people assume (and get judgy) that this is the reason people want to know, but it wasn't for us.

We found out both times. I found that being handed the brand new person you've just made is enough of a surprise. Knowing that they were female in advance really didn't make it less amazing or less of a shock. And it made choosing names easier.

I found out and I was so happy that we did, it gave my bump an identity and it was nice knowing my son was in there

I did with my first two but wasn't allowed with my third (different hospital, different policy) and I really feel like I missed out. He had to wear boring cream and white clothes and I some how felt that dressing him is neutral clothing somehow wasn't dressing him to suit his personality and it didn't display to the world who he was. I found out with bubba 4!

I was convinced DD2 was a boy after 12 week scan as she was huge in comparison to DD1 at same stage. Found out at 20 weeks she was a girl. Was thrilled either way but very glad I had found out-labour was a rushed affair on the kitchen floor (unplanned)-I think it would all have been a bit much if I had a different sex to what I was expecting thrown in there as well.

I've found out with all 3. Pregnancy is soooo long (I'm 36 weeks) and it helped to have that to look forward to halfway through.

It'll be a surprise no matter when you find out. Do it!!!

My DH really wanted to find out, so with DC 1 & 2 we did. But this being the final baby, I decided that I wanted a surprise (and we have one of each so have some stuff for both regardless). I almost caved at the 20 week scan, but so far glad I didn't. Everyone always asks and I like being able to honestly say I have no idea so can't tell you. Only 6 weeks ish to go to meet little one and super excited ... one more thing to keep me going in the uncomfortable moments!

I wasn't going to with ds and then we went for our 20 week scan. Our Trust won't tell you and suddenly it became this massive issue for me. I obsessed over it, especially because I was pretty sure the sonographer knew. Booked a private scan and discovered I was wrong, I wasn't carrying a dd that I could buy all the lovely dresses in Monsoon for but a ds (if it doesn't have a dinosaur or a robot on it... it's not going over his head). Glad I knew in advance as things turned out and being able to refer to bump by the name we had chosen for a boy helped me a lot in ante-natal bonding. However I'm a bit black and white and would not have coped well with discovering I didn't have a girl at birth had I gone through pregnancy thinking I did.

Currently ttc number 2 and if we do, I'll be finding out in advance again.

I did with my son and I did with this pregnancy (daughter) mainly because I'm impatient and need to be as prepared as possible and I wasn't that keen on unisex clothing as most looks either boyish or girlish...my son was also eager to know if it was a boy or girl as he really wanted a sister, don't think I could've made him wait from 12 weeks lol he's 6

I'm 24 weeks and haven't found out, i always said I would want a surprise. I think we kind of saw on the 20 week scan what it was and I was a little bit disappointed that I kind of knew. Obviously there are much more serious things to be concerned about and It only lasted an hour before I got over it. I still don't 100% know and I'm still really excited about being pregnant etc. I think I've probably saved a lot of money by not buying girls or boys clothes too

We found out with DS. I wanted to wait but DP was keen to know, I decided to find out as I felt that it would allow him to feel more involved with the baby. I'm so glad we found out, it really helped me to bond with him following 2 mcs & it was lovely imagining him running round the park, etc. We're planning on finding out this time too as I think it will make it easier for DS to take in knowing if he's got a brother or sister.

40 weeks to day with baby no 3 and have not found out with any of them. It's nice not knowing till the end and you can get clothes very quickly if you really want them dressed in blue or pink.

I have lots of friends who have been disappointed in the sex when the found out during pregnancy but I have never known someone to be disappointed by the sex when they found out after the baby has arrived.

I didn't find out either time. For me I think i get so few genuine surprises in life it's nice to take them when I can! I didn't have any issues bonding, I don't really understand what people mean when they say that to be honest?

Personally I was so excited not knowing, it really helped in the last few weeks and in labour! I have to say that moment when DH told me stands out as so special and I feel those emotions when I think about it! But I'm sure people feel that way whenever they find out. Also I'm sure it would have been equally as special just meeting your baby but it made me so happy! With my second I had a planned c section so it gave us an element of surprise!

35 weeks today and not found out. I honestly think it wouldn't make a lot of difference always would have been quite neutral and allows me to buy outfits later on to match personality as well as sex. Think it saves money too not rushing out to buy cute little outfits all at once.
Looking forward to finding out on the big day

If you want to find out, it can be hard to see if you leave it past about 24 weeks. Some private scan websites have a chart that show you the best time to find out. So I wouldn't really wait until after your 20 week one to have another.

Another option is to ask the sonographer to write it down. Then u can keep the envelope and decide. And let us all know what happens either way

We didn't find out the sex and it really was the best surprise we've ever had. If we have another child in the future I wouldn't find out the sex then either.