Actively TTC but now I'm pregnant I'm considering an abortion

[pregnantandscared1234]

Hi,
Have name changed for this. DH and I are in our 30's and have been TTC for a little while. I got my BFP yssterday and both of us are shocked and scared, not happy at all. I've spent the last 12 hours crying, and barely slept.

We are financially secure but rent a 1 bed flat. We are trying to buy a house, but live in London so it's tough. Not much comes up, and we have been outbid on everything we have offered on.

Given mine and DH's reactions, I feel like an abortion is the only option? We didn't expect this to be so fast...I have PCOS and there is family history of infertility.

What do I do? Half of me thinks it will be ok, the other half just wants it out of me.

Abortion is a very personal choice and I would never judge or try to dissuade someone if they felt it was the best thing for them but I had a termination in 2015, unplanned pregnancy and what would have been my third child and I can hand on heart say its the worst thing I have ever done and I think about that baby every single day. Thats not me being emotive or cliched - its the absolute truth.

I'm not saying its the wrong decision. Only you know that. But do let it sink and allow yourself to come to terms with it. I wish I had given myself more time to think as Im pretty certain I would have three children instead of two now.

I would like to add as well that its okay to feel the way you do. Normal actually I would think. Ultimately if you think abortion is the right choice then thats up to you. Parenting is amazing but bloody hard work.I just think you need to allow yourself time to think because it cant be undone and a lifetime of 'what ifs' isnt much fun either.

Got a BFP on Saturday and have been in shock since - torn between telling people and being in total denial!

It's my third and tbh the first time I've felt this way, but possibly because we weren't really properly trying (DTD twice in a month, neither at the height of ovulation!) I had a summer of festivals, raves and weddings lined up and was definitely not planning on being knocked up for any of those events!

But hey ho, I know this feeling of shock will pass and that is all it is... It's a massive bit of news, shock is a natural reaction.

Give it a little while to sink in OP, I think from what PP have said it's quite common to feel this way.

Congratulations

Op, I felt excactly the same when I got my bfp earlier this year. I cried for days and felt huge regret even though me and Dh had been ttc. A termination crossed my mind more than once. In time I became pleased and excited about the news.

Sadly that pregnancy recently ended in a missed miscarriage, but I've no doubt when I get my bfp again I will feel the same as the first time I got one.

I'd also say you're in shock. I was too after conceiving dc2 straightaway, which I was mot expecting.
I don't get why you would have been ttc anyway without thinking about the implications.
It may not be perfect but plenty of people have babies in 1 bed flats. Baby won't need it's own room for many months after being born.

Congratulations, it will be ok

18mo is still in with us - the bed that is, not just the room! It's fine.
My parents got to 2 under-2s in a 1-bed flat before managing to buy a house (40 miles away and a change of job for my dad). That was over 40 yrs ago - it has never been the norm for couple to have owner-occupied multi-bedroomed house before starting a family...

I wasn't trying ttc discovered I could be pregnant at 6 weeks, confirmed by GP at 8 weeks, went to the abortion clinic and discovered in actual fact I just needed to speak to someone.
I'm now 18+2 And also discovered at the clinic in carrying twins.
We aren't prepared. Nor can we afford it. My marriage isn't in a great place either I'm not going to lie, but deep down if it's what you want it will work.
I still don't really talk to people openly about it unlike my mum and husband mainly because I'm the main earner at home and I'm worried. But I know when the time comes we'll make it work.
Go speak to someone, you'll be surprised about getting things off your chest will help.
And of the day the decision is yours and yours alone. Even your partner doesn't get a say in the matter. No-one is here to judge you. No-one has judged me and I've been honest with a few close to me and open about it on here.
Good luck in your decision. Believe me I know just how tough it is. I still have moments but life is never as simple as a text book. Sometimes it takes surprising turns.

How are you feeling now OP? x