Ah I am so sorry you're going through this. I am in the same place as you with the hyperemesis and am now almost at 18 weeks and heading yout way with the other physical stuff . I am lucky that my husband is very supportI've though and I honestly can't imagine how I would get on without him so am reallt sad to hear you dont have tht support
Absolutely do not feel guilty I feel pressured into going back to full duties before you are ready. This will result in a relapse and you will be signed totally off again. Work are silly pushing you too far too soon..
I was in a similar position with my work. I had 2 weeks off then came back with later starts to match the times the vomiting eased off. I managed this for a month and was literally spending my only hours feeling half decent at work and hardly surviving at home and getting weaker and weaker each day. I would vomit from 6 til 9. Go to work 10 til 4. Come home and vomit and sleep. Barely ate or drank and got very very sick and crashed.
Bur wirk only saw me in my good ish hours and kept asking when I would be back normally . They didn't have a clue really and to be honest no one does . Hyperemesis is so haRd for others to get their head around . Most people have heard of morning sickness or experienced it so kind of just assume you have a bad case of that and arent coping with it as well as others ... everyone thinks they know what it's like as most people have been sick before or had morning sickness before if are mums
What they don't know is
The physical effect on the body of months upon months of vomiting multiple times every single day. I feel like I have whiplash and my back is so weak and sometimes I don't hAve the energy to even support myself in the vomit over the toilet position and bruise my head by resting it on the rim as i retch and sometimes my head hut dangles into the toilet haha
The awful relationship with food and fluids. The vicious circle of empty stomach making the nausea and vomiting worse but food and drink making you sick too or just the sheer thought of eating or drinking... bLegh. Even when you find something that works then a few days later you can't even look at it.
The isolation of not being st work and not being up to socialising
The guilt of not being at work or no being able to look after your other children or self properly . The shame of needing to ask for help. Guilt of putting child in for extra day care. The worry at the additional expense of this. The guilt of not being at work and worry of long term effect of this.
The sheer terror at the idea of how long you may have left of this. Trying ti take it a day at a time but worrying you just can't d it anymore. .. guilt at thoughts about wishing you weren't pregnant or can't continue with the pregnancy.
Worry about taking medication. The conflicting views of health care professionals about it. Dr says fine then the pharmcist gives you a hard time. Having ti go back to dr and ask for more. .. next dr may be mega anti medication viewpoint . Some drs more understanding than others.
Friends not understanding or even if they try to you feel bad as you know they kind of just wish you would say I am ok when asked how you are rather than "still shit" . Almost feel impatient with yourself and thst your allocated sympathy abd understanding from friends/family/work is running thin so put pressure on self to at least pretend things ok
Ah it really sucks. I hope you are ok. My best advice is
Take medication if you feel you can. At least give it a go
Give in to it. Be signed off. Enjoy the moments you feel ok and but don't begrudge the hours you don't. . Sleep the days away if you can and just try and have a good few quality moments in the times you feel ok.
I felt awful having the curtains closed and missing all the sun and would just lay on my bed do in literally nothing. .. couldn't watch TV or read even. Felt like a right later but thats what my body needed
My mindset has changed a bit to allow my "job" to be hyperemesis. Will do what I need to do to cope with that and it's not fun but hey Ho it's only a 9.5 month contract and my job criteria is to survive to the end!!!
I embrace my morning vomiting routine now. Wake up..Drink water and wait til 10 to 20 minutes til I bring I up then use the 5 minute feel good slot that follows to get some sort of food down with medication and next comes the hour of trying not to be sick to keep that down. If I manage that try and eat some more and drink.a little then sleep .
I am lucky my partner has stepped up to take on most of the house stuff and childcare of our toddler. I do what I can when I can but no more or I get worse and then no good to anyone
ChiP away at house bits. I try and spend quality time with my son to do bedtime stories, colouring, short walks etc. Text friends but I don't really have energy to see them or talk on phone.
Honestly you need to just tell work nope if you need to. They cant do that for you. Be signed off totally if need be... I know it's not easy to do.
Sorry for soo.much rambling. .. but I know how much reading other people s experiences has helped me . I know I am fortunate in that I can afford extra childcare and that I have ok sick pay for now and a supportive husband and actually my sickness isn't as bad as other people woth hyperemesis. At least mine lets me sleep at night!
Be kind to yourself and private message me if you want to chat about anything. You're doing great and not long now!
PS have you tried ginger biscuits ??!! 😂😂😐😤