Birthing and labour plan

[Polkadot1988]

Hi everyone,

I'm a first time mummy to be and I'm jut wanting to get people's opinion on options for labour! I think I want to try a natural labour if possible with just gas and air and maybe the birthing pool but am wondering if I'm mad saying no to the drugs lol it's just I have read up a lot and seems to be that people who have used different drugs for pain relief have felt a lack of control and didn't really know what was happening which frightens me more than the pain! As it's my first baby I don't really know what I'm letting myself in for and would really appreciate some guidance and help from those who have been there and done it!! All opinions welcome!! Ps I should say I'm 29weeks and low risk normal pregnancy so far with a baby measuring on the 90th centile

I had a birth plan. Water birth and no drugs.
Baby came a few weeks early so they wouldn't let me go in the pool.
I was begging for an epidural (didn't get one) as the baby came in 2 hour.
I didnt care or even think about my birth plan although they read it and did delayed cord clamping and skin to skin.

Get a pool if you can. I think it's best to have an idea of what you would like but keep your options open. Each birth is different so no one can really tell you what it will be like.

I couldn't use the pool because I've got a bleeding disorder (and you can't measure blood loss in water) but I did it twice on just gas and air. It was bloody horrible but it was fine (if that makes sense!) pain was absolutely out of this world but I was very proud of myself when I had done it and in a weird way they're really fond memories for me- was an amazing experience. I didn't have a birth plan though- my plan both times was very much to see how I felt and go with the flow.

You'll honestly have no idea how you'll handle it until it's happening so try not to stress yet! I had an almost 3 day labour and had 2 doses of diamorphine (injections) as was in agony and then had gas and air once they finally let me have it! They did take it away for pushing which i wasn't impressed with! I found the pool did nothing except make me feel freezing cold

I would say be quite flexible with your birth plan. Things often change as labour progresses. I was adamant I didn't want pethidine but after 12 hours of contractions coming every 3 minutes & DS lying back to back I needed something more than the gas & air. It allowed me to rest, even get a bit of sleep for a few minutes.

The best advice I had was to think of it as birth options not a birth plan. You can't plan it reliably unfortunately!

There are pros and cons to all of the options during labour. Personally I wanted to avoid an epidural if I could because I wanted to stay active and unemcumbered as that was very important to me in order to feel in control. But I have friends who loved their epidurals. Different things work for different labours.

I found the birth pool and gas and air helped me manage the pain relatively well both times (it still really hurt obviously but I coped). I also found reading Birth skills by Juju Sundin incredibly helpful.

I had quite straightforward labours though, if they'd been long or difficult e.g. back to back, I would have happily had more drugs. Except pethidine, I was too worried about feeling nauseous and out of it.

Good luck

Decide what you would ideally like your birth to be like, but go in with an open mind and be prepared to take whatever help you need on the day. It's much better if you know what the options are (drugs, water birth etc) in advance and what the pros and cons are so it's easier to make a decision when you're actually in labour.

I did somehow get through with gas and air but was lucky to have a straightforward and relatively quick labour. I kept thinking it was going to get a lot worse and was trying to hold off on the stronger stuff until it got really really bad, and then it was time to push and she was out very quickly! I would love if i could have a similar labour next time, but am completely prepared to take all the drugs if I need to!!

Good luck! It's amazing what our bodies are capable of.

@Polkadot1988 you sound in a similar mindset to me at the beginning of my first pregnancy. I googled natural births and water births and ended up stumbling across hypnobirthing. From the name I thought it all sounded a bit hippyish, which is not me at all, I've never once done yoga or burnt a stick of incense for example . Kept an open mind and went to a free taster, loved it, and had sessions from a local lady who was absolutely fabulous. So good for birthing partner too to have a role and be useful during the birth. My hypno lady helped me to write a birth plan with what to include while understanding especially with your first you need room for flexibility as it will never go one exact way. I was filled with positivity and had an amazing, calm water birth, I thought I would use gas and air but in the end was so totally in the "zone" didn't need to. Best experience of my life 😊 xxx

Prepare for all eventualities - think about how you feel about different drug options, even if you don't think you'll use them, and have a read up on managing labour with things like breathing techniques etc even if you think you may go for an epidural. You can't tell how you'll feel at the time, and being flexible and open to different possibilities about it now saves you feeling disappointed for whatever reason once you've given birth.

FWIW I used Maggie Howell's natal hypnotherapy downloads before the birth and loved them. I also had an epidural and that was great too. This time I'm going to use the hypnobirthing stuff again and am reading up on Juju Sundin's birth skills to manage the labour pain. If I need it though I'll go for an epidural again. You can hire TENS machines too, use aromatherapy, a hot shower on your back... there are lots of things you can come armed with if you want to give it a go without drugs.

Firstly have a look online or ring your midwife and find out what pain relief options are actually available in your local birthing unit/labour ward. There's no point agonising over pethidine vs epidural if the ward doesn't actually offer one (or either!)

Read up a lot on the different options. As your pregnancy progresses you'll find different pain relief appeals to you based on your circumstances. For example you might go to your 38 week appointment and find baby is back to back - if you can't get him turned you might wish to request an epidural fairly early on. But you just won't know until nearer the time.

Have a look at mobile epidurals and remifentanyl too which are options that are often available but not really discussed much. And read birth stories, lots of them to help make the decision that's right for you.

I went in with the hypno-waterbirth expectations. Could not have loved my mobile epidural more - full control, full use of legs, just no pain. What's not to love?

My advice, don't have a plan.

Go in with all your options open as you never know how you will feel or how things are progressing.

I wanted a water birth with gas and air. I got an induction, waters being broken for me, not being allowed in the pool due to meconium in water, epidural and then c-section.

You just have to go with the flow and if needed, don't be a martyr, take all the drugs.

My "natural" first labour was an agonising, traumatic experience which left me unable to bond with my baby...my second labour which included an early epidural where I then lay on my back and snoozed through the contractions was a wonderful experience.
Everyone is different but there is no badge of honour for doing it without pain relief if you feel you really need it. First time round I felt I had no choice and was even explicit in saying no pain relief as I thought that was the only successful way to start my journey into motherhood
Good luck with your baby!

My first was just gas and air, I originally wanted an epidural as I know I'm rubbish with pain but because my son was born in just over an hour there wasn't time, after I was glad it was just gas and air as I was allowed to go home sooner :) I am now due in duly with DC2 and I am just planning on gas and air again - that's if it all goes to plan which you can never know, try not to worry too much OP just have a rough idea of what you would like but be prepared for it to go out the window

Being renamed birth preferences in our area as I understand it- that says it all. Without a crystal ball, you can only say what you'd prefer and as a first timer too, I know that I have NO idea how I'll actually deal with it when the time comes.

I managed with the TENS machine and gas and air (just). I'm glad I did, I had a 15 hour Labour, and they say an epidural can slow things down. I did the second half in a birthing pool, highly recommended, before I got in I was wavering about the epidural. You need to hire or buy the tens, I used Elle Tens, I would recommend getting some elastoplast tape as the pads fell off when I got sweaty.

Like others here I'd say that when you start thinking about it, think of it as options. I wanted a water birth with gas and air. I ended up having water birth but not in the lovely pool in the midwifery led suite but in my bathtub where I sat to relax and manage pain of early labour. However, by the time MW arrived to asses me and decide if it was a hospital time or not, I was pushing and I had my baby at home (got out of the bath for that though). Definitely not what I planned as a preferred option so I remember being on all fours by my bed being told to push and thinking "Well, this is WEIRD!"


Have series of options and bear in mind that they may not be possible. And remember that when you're in labour things can change very quickly.

My plan accounted for me as well as in, how I behave when under pressure. So knowing that I have propensity for impulsiveness and impatience, I requested that if I said that I wanted pain relief beyond hypnobirthing techniques and TENS machine (and gas and air which I had for the last 15 mins anyway), I wanted to be explained clearly the risks and benefits concisely and questioned ONCE at a time i.e. If I say I still want pethadine/epidural after the explanation, then don't hold it back or try to persuade me again. This was handy as when I started dilating rapidly I suddenly threw all the hypnobirthing birth stuff to the wind and said I wanted to go to hospital rather than wait for MW as I could not "fucking do it anymore". My birth partners simply explained again what it meant and I returned to breathing exercises out of my own volition knowing I could ask again. Also I requested that nobody asks me if I want epidural/pethadine - if I want it I'll ask for it myself. Important for the epidural bit - ask to be informed when there is a point when it cannot be administered anymore. I had an order of drugs as well: gas and air, then pethadine, then epidural.

And if you're using tens machine, test it beforehand and get lots of batteries. I sent my DP out to get more batteries as I couldn't bear possibility of it running out of juice 😆. We have A LOT of tiny batteries knocking about as a result.

I also had two people at my birth. My partner and my female friend. While I love my DP dearly and he's a kind patient man, I wanted him to have a back up too - my early labour was slow so one of them was resting while the other was looking after me/keeping me company. On couple of occasions I found it easier to explain to a woman what I needed and she was quicker to spot what I needed and when, purely because she's been through a labour herself. She also had a calmer head on as she was not as emotionally attached. Plus she filmed the birth and took pictures while DP was busy holding my hand and getting immersed in watching our baby being born. They were a great team.

When it comes to "natural birth*" I'd say that baby's position is key. If baby is engaged and in a textbook position for birth (facing back) - if baby is in an awkward position that allows vaginal birth there is a likelihood that you may benefit from more medical intervention so discuss this with MW beforehand and agree on best approach.

And whatever happens and however baby comes out, you've given birth and are a bloody Goddess for doing so!

HTH

*Small point. Maybe it's just me but all births are natural as far as I'm concerned. Vaginal birth is just one of the options. 😉

Not sure why part of my post went bold

Keep an open mind on pain relief, I was all set for a Hypnobirthing water experience, ended up with all the drugs including spinal block in theatre.
Regarding size of the baby, don't fret and don't pay too close attention. Mine should have been 11lb according to the scans, she was 7lb 13oz. They had also told me she had a big head, it was perfectly formed and pretty average at 51%.

Prepare to be flexible but sometimes ignorance is bliss. My plan was to have an epidural. I was induced on a Saturday and only found out then that no pain relief (or gas and air) was available on a Saturday! (Disclaimer: I live abroad in a country where this is quite normal - I think maybe the NHS allows you to have pain relief at weekends!)

Definitely be prepared to be flexible. I was all set for a water birth but in the end I couldn't stand the thought of it at all and was only comfortable lying on my back (totally the 'wrong' position). I did just have gas and air as I left it a bit late to decide to ask for more pain relief.

furryelephant

MW tried to take away my gas and air for pushing too. I clung to it and refused to give it back. Like you I had long lead up so I bloody loved being out of my head at last.

I remember getting high on it and refusing to push and shouting "Fucking get him out of me!"

I did push in the end though.

Definitely think of it as preferences and you can't go far wrong. Staying calm was the biggest benefit to me of reading up on hypnobirthing and also doing an nct course. Another vote for water birth here, I was very lucky that everything was straight forward, staff were available and I was allowed in the pool. I can honestly say it was amazing. I knew there was a chance I wouldn't be able to go in the pool however, and mentally was prepared for the alternatives including what would happen in an emergency. Once the course was over I didn't actually allow myself to give it too much thought and just focused on the fact that women give birth every day.

My first thing is to ask for a group strep b swab - they don't routinely offer them and I think it's madness. Quite a few women are carriers and it doesn't cause any problems, however can be transferred to baby during birth and sometimes causes breathing difficulties or leads to a much more serious infection. If you are a carrier you'll need to have IV antibiotics during labour, and baby will need to be monitored after birth for around 12-24 hours. If they won't give you one you can pay to have one done online for around £30. I found out I had it after a test for waters, and didn't know anything about it till then! Meant I couldn't have a water birth, but dd was happy and healthy when she was born, so that's the main thing. I didn't have a birth plan as such, just that I wanted delayed cord clamping, to breastfeed and for dad to cut the cord. Just go with how you feel when in labour, because you definitely can't plan for how you'll deal with the pain (I was a total wimp and had an epidural at 4cm!) And congratulations!

I didn't have a plan at all, I just went with the idea of deciding on the day. So many factors have an effect on the labour you have - size of baby, position, time of day, how sleep deprived you are.

I did listen to Maggie Howell's natal hypnotherapy as I guessed feeling calm and in control would benefit me regardless of how my labour progressed.

In the end I gave birth with no pain relief at all and was 10cms on arriving at hospital. I never felt panicked at any point and kind of went into 'the zone.' It still bloody hurt but it never felt unmanageable at any time. I would highly recommend looking into natal hypnotherapy, even if you just end up having a nap every afternoon listening to it like I did

But again, I believe it's also the luck of the draw and so many factors affect how your labour will go