Anyone having a third DC with big age gap want to hold hands?

[omgimustbecrazy]

Just that really. I am having a third DC with a big age gap and I'm also in my mid-40s. I am terrified. Is there anyone out there in a similar-ish position (now or in the the past) who would be happy to compare notes? I'm desperately seeking someone who can share this journey and/or tell me about their experiences!

I'm having a 4th DC with a big age-gap. (Older DC are 15, 14 and 10.)
It seemed such a good idea while TTC but now in my second trimester I'm struggling with tiredness and grumpyness and constantly feeling shite and panicking a bit lot

What will your age-gap be?

Oh hello Somerville - big congratulations and thanks for replying. My older DC will be 9 and 7 when the new one arrives. I so desperately wanted another one (always felt my family was not quite complete) and lost one last year to a chromosomal disorder which was horrible. It is so totally irrational that now it is happening, I am having very serious cold feet.

How far along are you? Have you only
Found out quite recently?

9 and 7 years isn't too big of an age-gap at all I don't think. Well not compared with mine anyway
There's a decade between me and younger Dsis and we've always had a v close relationship.

Is your partner excited?

I've just had my second child. My first is 12! All the way through she kept saying she didn't want a brother or sister but now that she is here she's not wanted to put her down and is so caring with her. She absolutely adores her!

Hi, I've just had my third ds who is 6 weeks old, I also have ds1 aged 15 and ds2 aged 9.

I did worry about the big gap but the older two absolutely love their little brother. No jealousy or feeling left out as they are old enough to understand and also are old enough to help!!! Ds3 loves to be cuddled by ds1 and it gives me 5 minutes to do the dishes/put the washing on. Also I do feel as though my dcs have the benefit of having siblings but also individually received my full attention as babies so best of both worlds

Good luck with your pregnancy I must say at 37 I did find this one a lot harder which I put down to being older, the birth itself was absolutely fine and definitely the easiest!

Hello again - congratulations Wriggly and JJ. I'm not quite 12 weeks. So by no means absolutely guaranteed as yet. My partner is putting on a brave face but is in fact really worried - I think in fact we are both worried that having got through the baby days, this is a backwards step into chaos and tiredness and financial strain.

Hello all and congratulations!

Surprise third pregnancy here. DD will be 10, DS will be 8 when baby arrives in November. Had my 12 week scan yesterday.

I can't believe we are doing this again! We are happy and excited but panicking too! We have literally no baby stuff.

DD is super excited and keeps complaining that November is too far away. DS is just rolling his eyes as he doesn't like babies!

Hello Cagliostro - congratulations! Lovely to hear from another in a similar position! I don't think anybody is quite as old as me but I will try to put my age to one side for now! When did you tell you DD and DS?

Congratulations!

I'm having DD2 in less than 2 weeks and my DS will be 13 in June and DD1 is 11.

So far I found it much easier than when my first 2 had 1.5 years gap.

Strangely enough DS is more excited than DD1. When DD1 was born DS was so little and sooooo jealous I could never leave them alone for a second as he would bite her hands.

They do however think that she will be 3yo when born and can't wait to play with her ;)

I don't think they realise how tiny babies are and how little they do they in the first months.

Regards tiredness. I'm so tired that I mostly want to sit all day.

And another thing. When I was pregnant with DD1 I still had to carry DS around as he was a very needy baby but now he carries my shopping and watering can and does the bins and I don't even have to ask for it ;)

Xxx

Congratulations FeelingForSnow. Re: tiredness: One thing I keep telling my DH is that at least we won't have two really little ones because I do think that is really tiring. Currently, I am not nearly as tired as I was when pregnant with DC2, or during his early childhood. Weirdly although I have had awful morning sickness this time round (worst of all my pregnancies) I haven't suffered from that terrible first trimester tiredness so much. I have wondered if that's a bad sign but I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

Hi, my eldest is 12 and youngest is 9. I'm going for my dating scan today and I'm bricking it that they'll tell me something's wrong.
This was totally planned and much wanted but I know as soon as we tell people they'll assume it was an accident as the age gap is so big.

Our 3rd Dc came along when dc1&2 were 11 and 14. It restricts what you can do as a family because babies and toddlers have different needs to teenagers but we wouldn't change it for the world and now that dc3 is almost 2 we are expecting dc4. I have loved having another baby in the house and hope the two little ones can grow up together and be happy.

I have a 9 month old, and my other two are 10 and 13.

It has been mostly fantastic. The older boys adore their baby sister, I didn't anticipate how much joy this would bring me. 13 year old boys can be tricky creatures, and mine just melts for his sister. I trust them both completely (they don't do any care - they don't feed her or change nappies, but they do play with her and watch her while I shower).

It was a all marvellous while I was on maternity leave, but now that I'm back to work it is harder. But harder in the way it would be for anyone with three kids. We co-ordinate the nursery, picking up from scouts at 9pm can be difficult if the baby is in bed. There is less money because childcare is expensive. We aren't really a family day out kind of family, we still take walks because she is little enough for the sling. We play board games when she naps. She goes to bed at 7pm, so we still have evenings with the older boys.

My entire family would agree that life with the baby is much more fun than life without the baby. I was 42 when she was born. I am a bit more tired, but way, way, way more relaxed. Once you raise some to 10 and 13, you can see the bigger picture.

Thank you omg we actually told the DCs a few weeks ago, which wasn't ideal (as I hadn't had a scan), but DD was getting super anxious about all my appointments, the fact that I was feeling more ill and tired than usual (i have a chronic illness). A relative had just had a life threatening illness and the timing meant she was panicking, so much that DH decided it would be better to tell her.

I can't help on the age issue as I am only 30 now! I was 19 when we conceived DD (DH is older). But I am definitely struggling more this time, which I assume is due to the illness I developed a few years ago (fibromyalgia and similar stuff). I feel much more sick and am ridiculously tired.

Definitely glad not to have a toddler as well though. There was 2y2m between the other two and that was hard! Keeping DD entertained while BFing DS etc. At least now the older two are more independent and they help out at home with stuff like laundry and food prep.

I'm the wrong side of 40 too, omg, if it makes you feel a bit better.

I'm determined to enjoy this baby - I know how fast they grow up, this time round. But, God, pregnancy is so much harder now than in my twenties with older DC.

How lovely for you. I have a big gap between my two youngest, 11 years. My dc are 16, 12 and 1.
It's wonderful. The big ones help out so much with the little one.
You'll be just fine.

Hi, just had a surprise DS 17 weeks ago. I have 2DSD in early twenties (who I brought up since little), 13 DD and DS11.
We were both a bit floored initially as we'd definitely finished?!?
Pregnancy was better in that at 40 I have the ability to ask for what I need and was able to allow myself to take it easy etc.
I was worried about it all but can honestly say he has been the most wonderful unexpected joy and like a gift. My DH has bonded with him in a way he was never able to with the others due to work hours. He works from home now so is involved and I feel supported and not isolated.
I have so much love for my baby and feel so lucky to have this opportunity. I'd forgotten how wonderful the wonderful bits are. The tough bits are still tough but I'm more relaxed, more supported and able to look after myself better. I was going to have a home birth like the last times but the birth was complicated by another health issue but the actual birth and afterwards was easy and recovered pretty quickly from it. People kept saying "oh lucky you.... late babies are an indulgence". I thought WHAT??? ...... but they were totally right! Xxx

Congratulations. I had dc3 at 43, ds1 was 7, dd was 5. Not a huge gap, but bigger than hoped for (mmc inbetween).

Ds1 and dd absolutely adore ds2, although he's the most 'spirited' baby of the 3, and is having the worst terrible twos, which show no sign of easing

some mornings can be stressful, as he can cause big delays getting ready, (wrong socks / t shirts you name it...) and he can be hard work when I take the older two to after school activities- they only do gymnastics / footy and both do swimming but he won't sit down and watch, so I spend the whole time exploring with him.

The best bit is watching the three of them develop their own relationships. I don't have as much time for one to one, and worry I don't give dc3 as much time to learn but dd has taught him to count to 20 herself e.g. .

It's certainly been harder than I ever imagined, with him being such a strong willed baby (so envious when I read on threads how dc3 just slotted in and was a breeze ) but I wouldn't be without him. And I absolutely would have loved dc4 if it wasn't for my age / finances / house size!

Hello. I'm almost 10 weeks pregnant with DC3 and we have a DS & a DD who will be 8 and 6 when this baby is born. So heartwarming to read all the positive stories on this thread.

When I have panicky moments I tell myself having a newborn with older DCs will surely be easier than having a 16 mth age gap. That was tough! Like you, Feeling, DS was incredibly jealous and a liability rather than a help around his baby sister - not that I expected a 16mo to be a help, but I didn't expect him to clonk her on the head with his toy cars either!

Crossing my fingers for one of the 'easy breezy slots right in' babies, daisy

Hi OP! I had DC3 at 42... Big gaps. DC 1 and 3= 12 year gap, big. DC2 and 3= 4 year gap, not so huge a gap. DC1 and 3 (now 15 and 3) ADORE each other. Buddies/BFFs! However DC2 would happily put DC3 on eBay if possible. There's love there, but it's prickly. DC3 thinks the world of DC2, despite the drama. He's unaware of DC2's eBay fantasy. I wouldn't change a thing! Wish I could have a fourth but I am spent physically and past it all now. DC3 is the sweetest guy in the world but he's full throttle. Still, what a great surprise baby he was! Totally unexpected. Totally loved.

I don't think it's our maternal age that exhausts us. I think it's just a case of the longer you've been doing the parenthood gig the more tired you are. 15 years later, I'm tired but in a good way. But physically, I don't feel any different than when I had DC1 at 29. But oh man, do I look every single one of my 45 years!? I do, with bells on. DC3 has been a dreadful sleeper, so it's that more than anything that's been hard. Don't let maternal age or gaps daunt you.

14 year age gap here. I only have the one child at the moment and she's not hugely enthusiastic about a little sister. Hopefully she will come round to the idea as I'm due next month.

14, 6 and 1.

They both love the baby so much ❤️

Congratulations and enjoy! I love age gaps