Sex in pregnancy - advice needed

[sexandthebump]

Hi
Hope you don't mind me posting this. Changed my name, as even my openness probably goes beyond these bounds! Sorry if TMI!

Am 25 weeks and need some advice re: sex in pg. When we do actually get around to doing it (which isn't all that often due to pain/tiredness etc.) just can't get in a good position. Tried today in a kinda spoons position and it just didn't feel right, almost painful, but due to ever increasing bump we are struggling to find a position that works, and feels good. Any advice?
Also, what is the advice re: using a vibe during pg, like an 'outside' stimulating one. The problem is I actually feel quite turned on a lot at the moment, but when we actually get around to doing anything I just get so frustrated at not being able to find a good position, then I get unreasonably pissed off...it's not good for our relationship so any advice greatly receive.

And while we are on the topic, any advice/warnings etc. about what to expect from our sex life after the baby is born would be appreciated too.

I won't change my name, because its been that long I'm working from distant memories ....
pile up pillows and go for doggy position, using the pillows for support under your hips and above your bump.
Apparently the baby enjoys the sensation of orgasms (which makes me feel a bit wierd actually) so go for it. Wouldn't worry about vibrators externally.
Sex after baby? They say wait 6 weeks, but good to try it just before 6 week check to make sure all ok.
Don't believe that breastfeeding acts as a contraceptive. It doesn't (!)
Lucky you

Know what you mean about feeling sexed up in pregnancy. My dh likened me to a rampant sumo wrestler! Agree with everything foxy said - would also recommend oral sex as well as an alternative to penetrative sex - altho I've heard some blokes can be a bit 'funny' about this (giving obviously - they're never 'funny' about receiving it, let's face it) but if you're both up for it it can be great (esp as the orgasms when you're preg are fabulous). I've no experience of sex in last trimester though as we were 'banned' from doing it because I had placenta praevia but lots of couples I know have managed even when the woman has been HUGE. JUst experiment.

As for after the birth, a lot will depend on what sort of birth you have. If you've had stitches or a traumatic time, sex might be the last things on your agenda... and to be honest, the first few weeks/months are such a fuggy haze, it might not feature on your radar at all.

Tiredness is the biggest libido-killer of them all, but if your relationship is a good one and you are both honest with each other, hopefully you'll bith understand that sex really isn't that important at this time. But make sure you give each other lots of physical support with cuddles and kisses so you still feel close to one another. That way, when you both feel up for it, it's just one more step forward. If you lose the intimacy post-baby and you don't have any physical contact, the first time you want to have sex might be ever more distant. Talk to each other and communicate your feelings. These days with 2 dds, it's not through lack of desire we end up not getting as much as we did - it's lack of opportunity and both feeling knackered!

now I'm 24 weeks and wondering if I know you from the 'due in june' thread ...

check out the thread on the 'non-fluffy bunnies' running at the mo. Kitbit has lots of useful advice, info and products. All very informative

Thanks for the advice girls, and the honesty. I will have a look at that thread Foxy.

i'm the opposite of sexandthebump and have absolutely no desire for sex. my poor hubby is desperate but i can't bring myself to do it. would love any advice if you've got it (not meaning to steal satb's thread)

You've made me realise that I am a rampant sumo wrestler! (even though I'm not really showing yet lol!). We've been at it like rabbits and I'm wondering when it will get difficult and how we will cope with it. Thank you for your words of wisdom Moomin!

I'm going to keep a note of doggy with lots of pillows!!

I found sitting on top best so I could really concentrate on squeezing iyswim. Depends on your DH though, if he's got a bump to rival yours it may not be poss but I was still bouncing away on mine at 38weeks!
Just to give some hope (but prob not very common) we were doing it again by 2wks after both our babies. (But they were both CSection so I wasn't worried about my bits.)

There's a great book by Lou Paget specifically about sex in pregnancy called 'Hot Mamas'. Gives loads of advice on technique, positions etc for every stage of pregnancy and post partum. Worth a look.