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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

Live with parents or rent - 1st time pregnancy!

10 replies

laurenann23 · 15/04/2017 13:58

My partner and I are 23 and 28, together 2 years and we are expecting our first baby in September. Baby is unplanned but very much welcomed and we can't wait to have him/her in our lives. We currently both live in seperate houses but will live together a few months before baby is due in my house (my parents have been very supportive and have said we can stay here rent free for however long we like which is so lovely and helpful of them). However me and my partner have spoken and said we would both really like our own space! e.g. When baby is sleeping we will only be able to go into living room where my mum dad and two brothers will be (bit of a squeeze) and we've both said it would be nice to put our baby to sleep then to have our own space to make dinner watch tv etc. Obviously with renting we would be paying out a lot more than we do already now for bills etc and it would probably leave us very tight each month.
My question is, would you stay at home with family for free and deal with the fact we will be bringing up our baby in a space shared with 4 others or rent and pay out more just to have our own space?
I don't want any nasty comments, we thought about everything and we very much want our little bundle of joy so I don't want to hear about how our situation isn't perfect TIA!

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Ecureuil · 15/04/2017 14:01

I'd move out and rent somewhere.

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JellyBert · 15/04/2017 14:03

We lived with my parents and saved up a deposit on a house. My son was 6 months old when we moved.
It's not for the faint hearted but worth it for us!! We are now expecting DC2 & I'm decorating the nursery instead of a small crib in my old bedroom. It feels SO much better.
But it was 100% worth the wait.
Good luck

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HirplesWithHaggis · 15/04/2017 14:05

In your circumstances, I'd support your moving into your own place, as long as you can afford it. (Remember you'll have Council Tax and bills as well as rent to pay.)

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laurenann23 · 15/04/2017 14:12

Jellybert, what was the biggest problem you faced living at home with a baby? X

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arbrighton · 15/04/2017 16:06

Remember safe sleeping rules though- they're meant to be in the same room as you whether asleep or awake for the first six months so you shouldn't leave baby alone in bedroom.

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laurenann23 · 15/04/2017 20:20

Brighton, I know this but I mean about all of us plus baby in living room at night is just too much for us which is why we're looking at other options!

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msgrinch · 15/04/2017 21:07

Rent your own home. You are a grown up now with your own family. No need to be with your parents, have your own space and be an adult.

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kel1493 · 15/04/2017 21:17

Brighton- we always put our lo upstairs to sleep. Even in the day when we were downstairs. Tbh I will do again with any children I have in the future. My mum also did the same.
My health visitor knew he only slept in his crib upstairs and she didn't have any issue at all. We always had the video monitor on. I told her I want him to sleep upstairs in his crib all the time (I hate Moses baskets so would never have one).
Anyway op. First of all congrats on your baby and you will get no judgement from me at all.
We'd only been together 2 months when we started ttc. I was a student at uni 250 miles from home, my now dh was on minimum wage. But we decided we wanted to try for a baby. We weren't even living together and had little money. But we wanted it. He moved into the flat I was sharing with a friend, as she quit uni and moved back home. I got pregnant. I quit uni. We wanted to be married before the baby was born, so we were engaged 3 months then got married.
My dad was kind enough to let us move in with him when the year was up on the flat I was renting, so we could save money.
We lived with him for a year. While it was extremely kind and we appreciated it. It wasn't the same as having our own place. He worked 6 days a week, was out early and not back til late (2 hour commute to and from work). So wasn't home much. But it was still his house.
We have since moved back to my uni city as that's where dh is from anyway, and it's where I'm happier to live.
If you can afford your own place then do it. However we couldn't so we made the best of it. Alternatively you could live with your parents for a while to put some money behind you both, then move into your own place.
Good luck

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SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 15/04/2017 21:18

For me, it would depend on how long you'd be living with parents for. If it's just a few months, to save some money, then great. More long term then no. It would drive me crazy!

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Sunshinegirl82 · 15/04/2017 21:28

If living with your parents in the short term would have long term advantages (such as allowing you to save a deposit to buy) then I'd stick it out. If it's just going to delay when you start renting then I'd move out and get your own space.