Just need to get it all out, sorry if I ramble a bit. On one hand I'm so stressed I can't wait for tomorrow to come, and on the other I never want it to come. Bit of background: I'm 16 weeks pg with twins, I have a dd who is 2.5 and 18 months ago had a missed m/c at 16 weeks. I'm having a quite a high risk pg this time, twins being mc/ma, hence the scan at 16 weeks and fortnightly from now on, but that's another story.
Up until a week ago I was mildly dreading the 16 weeks scan, but I had a healthy mix of scared and excited. As this week has progressed I've got more and more tense, am having horribly vivid and nasty anxiety dreams, terrible headaches and am just in a foul, explosive mood. Most of the time I'm convinced tomorrow is going to be a repeat of last time, and I'll be told that one or both of my babies is dead.
Last time, after about 14 weeks I felt amazing, all symptoms left me and now I know it was because I wasn't pg anymore, not because I was in the 2nd trimester. This time, although I'm having some symptoms still, I'm scared the same thing has happened or that just one baby has died. I also don't know what will happen to the live baby if one has died as they share a placenta and amniotic sac, and I'm generally just a bag of nerves.
I'm finding it so hard to believe that everything will be fine and I'll have a great scan tomorrow. I obvioulsy want that to be the case but feel so negative, like I'm preparing myself for the worst.