How will this work?

[user1481490957]

Hi all, after a much up and down very rocky few months me and babys dad have ended our relationship and hope to work on being civil for DD who is due in 9 week. I fully intend on him being at the birth but unsure how it will work from there on. I wont feel comfortable him taking her when very little also i intend to breastfeed. Anyone been in a similar situation before and have suggestions please?

Hey op,

For the first few months it's best he comes to yours for an hour or so at a time to build a bond, the baby won't cope being taken so young away from you.

Thanks for the reply, i was thinking this but didnt want to seem unfair on him as i really do want this to be as civil as possible for our daughter. Alot of the reason the relationship ended was due to his lack of commitment to grow up and prepare for her so visits at my place are probably best.

Don't promise/commit to any timeline or length for visits right now. You don't know how you will be feeling, how feeding will go, what DD will need etc. Best for him as pp said to visit at yours for unspecified times to begin with - to be agreed once she arrives. If you're comfortable then hopefully your ex can be very helpful, give you a rest etc, but there are too many unknowns before your baby is here.

Op, a bit of a heads up though. If the relationship ended because of lack of commitment & preparing for your daughter, please don't pin everything on him being there and being consistent. He may end up being the perfect father who puts your DD first, however most men turn out to be the losers who cancel, don't make contact & just generally don't give a crap (I've one of those men as my ex and FOC).

Make sure it's all on your terms at the start!