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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

20 week scan - gender reveal

19 replies

Bobbcats · 27/02/2017 11:19

Hi guys,

My 20 wk scan is on Wednesday. We have been debating on whether or not to find out the gender. We have to decided to find out but of unsure of the best way to do so. Many possibilities such as a gender reveal party, one of us find out and tell the other or for our son who is 5 to tell us. How did you find out or did you wait and have the ultimate reveal

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Littlejayx · 27/02/2017 11:23

Hi Bobbcats,

I love the idea of your son telling you! that would be so wonderful and personal.
We are no finding out at all, one of the reasons is my other halves family have done the reveal party to death! its a lovely idea for close family members only, but it often is just another gift grabbing party (in my opinion)

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 27/02/2017 11:25

The sonographer will usually only tell the mother and usually no children are allowed in the scan room. Unless you're going private?

PurpleDaisies · 27/02/2017 11:25

Gender reveal parties are beyond tacky. I think you're overestimating how much people will care about whether you're having a boy or a girl.

What's wrong with letting the sonographer tell you and your dh so you find out and can be excited together?

Original poster

Bobbcats · 27/02/2017 11:26

Thank you for your reply little jayc. I think it's a nice idea he's terribly excited and can't wait to find out. I also wanted to include him more. So I'm thinking that's the way to go.

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MadamePsychosis · 27/02/2017 11:27

I kind of agree with PurpleDaisies, although I might have tried to find a more tactful way to say it :). All of this stuff just feels very attention-seeking to everyone who isn't into it.

MadamePsychosis · 27/02/2017 11:30

Plus I wouldn't take my child to a sonogram personally. In case the scan reveals an abnormality I would want to be able to focus completely on that without worrying about protecting my older child from hearing worrying news. You can share it with him later and he will be very happy. He doesn't know any different so he won't feel left out.

Original poster

Bobbcats · 27/02/2017 11:30

I was planning on asking the sonographer to write it down and have my son read it to us, which I think is quite personal as it's his growing family too. In regards to the gender reveal party it was only to be close friends and family who all would like to know.

OP posts:

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 27/02/2017 11:42

I'd be very surprised if they allow that bit your hospital might have a different policy. For both mine at 2 different hospitals no children allowed and nothing written down about from medical information

PurpleDaisies · 27/02/2017 11:48

Sorry if I sounded a bit tactless. I just think while people will be interested to find out whether someone's having a boy or a girl, expecting them to be so involved that it justifies a party with a really big deal made of it is a bit daft. A small dinner where you just tell people in a low key way isn't what calling it a "gender reveal" party usually means.

ellesbellesxxx · 27/02/2017 11:52

To be honest I was so anxious about the anomaly scan that that was all I could think about . It was special enough her telling us both together the sexes of our twins and feeling just so relieved and happy that everything was ok

charlotte1990 · 27/02/2017 23:01

We took our son who is 5 to the scan they let him in no problems and he was so happy to see his little brother on the screen x

SockQueen · 28/02/2017 09:18

I don't understand what's wrong with having the sonographer tell you during the scan (or looking for yourself). Anything else is just making an unnecessary song and dance about it.

Letsgetreadytorumbleagain · 28/02/2017 09:31

Are you in the UK?

Cwtchythings · 28/02/2017 09:35

I'm not sure I'd take my children to an anomaly scan because it would an awful experience for them if a problem was detected. A private scan after the NHS one would be good to involve siblings with though, I guess.

clumsyduck · 28/02/2017 09:42

I think that some places will allow it to be written down and then later on you son can read it out to you which would be sweet.

Any more than that would be way ott . I'm imagining if i was pregnant again and the thought process behind hosting a gender reveal party and literally just sat here cringing .

Original poster

Bobbcats · 28/02/2017 17:09

Thanks for your replies, although I think I may have I may have given the wrong impression. The gender reveal was to be to my closest friends and family - a small gathering (who all are desperate to know the gender, as are we!) I have no intentions of bringing my young child to the appointment - My first priority is to know that everything is okay, following that, finding out the gender. I plan to write down either sex and have the sonographer place the card in an envelope for my child to read to us all. I have spoken to the department they have assured me that this will be fine.
To all of you that find having a gender reveal party 'tacky'. I am sure some people are extremely excited to find out and would like to share with their nearest and dearest and maybe a few others. I doubt that some of you would be invited as it would probably bring down the the atmosphere.

OP posts:

multivac · 28/02/2017 17:14

You're not finding out your child's gender, by the way. You are finding out your child's sex.

dontbesillyhenry · 28/02/2017 17:15

Yep tacky and typical of the 'loooook at meeeeee I'm growing a bubs' generation we are living in at the moment

PotteringAlong · 28/02/2017 17:16

I didn't find out with any of my 3 - I had the "ultimate reveal" as you put it and wouldn't change it at all!

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