Positive pregnancy test - why am I not excited?!

[ashaj92]

Hi everyone, hoping someone can shed some light on my negative mood!
Me and my partner have been trying to get pregnant for what feels like forever. After lengthy hospital visits, OPK's, supplements and negative results, we finally had our BFP this week! (Approx 1-2 weeks along so very early days) The only thing is, I feel anything but excited about the news. I am happy.. but it's almost like I don't want to kid myself until we know for 100% everything is okay. I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt this way after getting the result and if it will eventually shift. I want to be happy and excited to be a mummy, not feeling like I'm carrying a ticking time bomb thanks in advance x

I was like that when I was pregnant with my first. I couldn't let myself be excited in case it jinxed things (nuts I know). I'd had a couple of friends who'd suffered miscarriages and I'd done a module developmental biology, and I just couldn't get that out of my head. I wasn't 100% happy till I heard his first cry, but I did feel a lot better once I could feel him moving.

It's very hard to feel excited when nothing has really changed, so wait a while. Once you've seen a midwife, had your 12 week scan, it will all feel more real.

asha I don't think what you're feeling is unusual at all. We were ttc for 14 months, I'd had all the 'non-invasive' tests and were about a week away from oh's appointment for a sperm test when I got the +ve we were so desperate for....I wasn't excited, in actual fact I cried and wondered how we'd cope with a baby 😂😂 I put it down to the sudden reality that I was going to have huge responsibility raising a child, I'd had a very poor (and violent) childhood and suddenly feared that our dc would continue in that cycle

It's a natural reaction to the unknown. It took until after my 20 week scan to get excited....and then there was no stopping me!! Good luck.

I wasn't excited either until after the 12 weeks scan. I just felt like it was another tick in the box but the start of the waiting game...

I'm 19 weeks now and feeling much more confident!

I felt exactly the same when I got pregnant. Slightly different to you, for me if happened first go and I wasn't at all prepared for it, because I'd convinced myself it would take a few months. Whereas with you I guess a small part of you has been steeling yourself for it to not happen?

I think it took until I was 24 weeks until I felt really excited. Granted 24 hour sickness helped put a dampener on the excitement!

Best of luck with your pregnancy, honestly the sense of shock you feel now won't have any impact on how you feel about your baby when he/she arrives.

Thanks so much everyone it's really reassuring to know it's not just me! Definitely thought there was something wrong with me 😂 I guess you just expect it to be this amazing moment and it all to feel right and I just didn't get that. If I'm honest I think I'm a bit terrified of the whole thing really! 😬 I think I'll feel better once I've had that first scan. Thanks so much ladies feel like a slight weight has been lifted x

I distinctly recall thinking "no fucking way" as the positive sign appeared practically before I finished weeing

My ex asked me if I was joking when I told him!

I am on exactly the same situation! Got married in September, decided with hubby that we would start trying, came off pill end of November, had one period and fell pregnant!
But I have no feelings! No excitement, joy, nerves etc. All the things I thought I would feel when I got a positive pregnancy test I havnt felt!

Is this normal? I feel like I'm just in shock that it happened so quickly and lucky that we didn't have months of trying, but I'm scared the way I'm feeling isn't normal!
I have my 12 week scan on the 23rd March and I'm hoping I will then start relaxing once I know they are ok!

Totally totally normal, even if you haven't had difficulties but especially if you have. We were trying/not trying for several years and then "properly" trying for more than a year before we conveived and carried our first. Two miscarriages before getting there (and probably more that went undetected). I was reassured by an early scan at about 8 weeks; if you can see the heartbeat at (I think) 7 weeks, the risk of miscarriage drops tremendously.

Had another miscarriage before conceiving our second (now 38+5 preg with him!) and in the beginning had a lot of just numb days, counting down until we got into the "safe" zone. I've been up and down in terms of enthusiasm though throughout this pg, for various reasons but I don't think you really need any special reason beyond the fact that pregnancy is a MASSIVE deal, bringing so many extraordinary changes, and then everything that comes after.

Wishing you all the best, hope things go smoothly for you and you get to feel the "magic" at some point- but really don't worry if you don't! Xx

We tried for months and my first thought on getting a positive test was 'oh shit, what have I done!'

26 weeks now and still get waves of fear, bursts of excitement and days of not much at all. I hope this is normal

I was exactly the same!! Even though we were trying and both really wanted this I absolutely freaked out and felt really weird and overwhelmed!! In fact me and DH ended up having an argument as my reaction was so weird!! 24 weeks now and loads less panicky and overwhelmed and now getting really excited. You are not abnormal at all!! I was worried about my reaction but spoke to my friends who said some of them reacted the same. It's a big life changing thing that no one can predict how you'll react. Congratulations by the way!

Can't believe so many of you have felt the same haha, guess we're all in the same boat! Starting to get major morning sickness and indigestion now though, so not feeling great in other ways now!!
Thanks so much for your replies and congratulations, it really helps x

Have you had your first scan yet ashaj92?

Mines next week and the anxieties are creeping in!! Just hope everything is ok in there!!

Not yet! I'm only 5-6 weeks had an appointment with the Dr today for blood pressure check etc (nothing exciting) first midwife appointment is next month then first scan should hopefully be in May, around the time of my birthday too which is exciting
I hope everything goes well for you! X

Another here who was exactly the same. I didn't even want to tell my closest friends as I knew they'd be happy and excited and I wouldn't be, even though it was what I wanted more than anything in the world.

I was so worried about something going wrong but a lovely student doctor said to me 'millions of women have successful pregnancies every year - there is no reason why you shouldn't be one of them'. BLESS her because all my (male) doctor said to me was 'you've been trying for nearly a year, you should be happy!'

When I had my first scan I cried for half an hour - no exaggeration. From then on I gained confidence in the pregnancy and felt the love and the happiness.

Congratulations!!

Lovely story Thisisrealitygreg.

I work for the nhs and see how things can go wrong in pregnancy which is now a hindrance as I think I've convinced myself something will be wrong next week as all I ever see at work is the bad things!

My only symptom the last 11 weeks has been severe tiredness and sore boobs! No sickness or anything! Is that nornal? I'm hoping I'm just one of the lucky ones and won't suffer with any nausea or vomiting.

Good luck with your scan in may ashaj92! Hope the next few weeks go quickly for you!!

I think its difficult to feel excited, for me there were so many unknowns and combined with all the early pregnancy symptoms I felt anything but excited. I too work for the NHS and used to do admin for the early pregnancy unit so that was something that didn't help as I was all too aware of all the things that could go wrong. I was 14 weeks before I even started to feel any glimmer of excitement which was really hard as my family have all been really excited while I was racked with fear about being pregnant. I'm still terrified now at 18 weeks about becoming a mum but definitely feeling much more excited than I was. You'll get there, it might take a while but the excitement will come.

I know this is years down the line, but I am SO glad to see that others feel like me!! I’ve been convinced I’m abnormal and We’ve made the wrong decision! Thank you all ladies xxx

@Orange1925 Hi! Thanks for reviving this little thread for me (I’m the OP just name changed 😂) I’ve actually not long found out I’m now expecting baby no2, and I feel EXACTLY the same again!! I think it’s totally normal, try and enjoy it as it goes by so, so fast! X

@ashaj92 I'm the same! This is my 4th pregnancy with 3 MC's and 2 rounds of IVF behind me. 12 week scan on Thursday and dreading it!

Totally normal OP. I've just said the same on another thread. Once the scan is out the way, we can relax a little hey? Congrats