What do I tell my boss?

[cazzy80]

I am attending the epu due to previous loss. I self referred so I haven't even been to my GP to arrange my midwife booking appointment. I do know however that my boss is going to soon question the amount of appointments I have coming up. He knows about the history and if he asks me if I am pregnant I will struggle to lie even though I don't want him knowing as he doesn't understand confidentiality at times.

What would you ladies do?

I'm 11 weeks and have had 4 scans plus my booking appointment so far so have had a lot of time off and haven't told my work. I've just said I've had a hospital appointment, one person asked me what they were for and I said I'm just having some tests and check ups and I'd rather not discuss It. I've had a couple of losses so it's true that I would rather not discuss it until I feel ready so didn't feel like I was lying. Luckily I can work from home so that helped minimising the amount of working time I actually missed, is that an option for you?

I think if you want to have paid time off for the appointments rather than using your annual leave or having your pay reduced you're going to have to tell your employer. You have a right to time off for pregnancy related appointments but you do have to tell your employer and possibly provide evidence such as an appointment card etc.

I told boss I had to go back to the hospital linked to my admission the previous year (emerged ectopic removal). I suspect he guessed I was pregnant again (3 appointments) by kept quiet until I told him officially.

Hope you have some good news soon.

Thanks ladies. I am effectively only missing 1.5 hours as I have arranged as early as I can manage appointments. I have the epu again on Friday and I hope given hat outcome that I will be more confident to tell him if need be. It's only a small business and I know I will have flexibility but I just don't want to have to tell this early.

Thanks for your advice x

I really hope it all goes well at the epu.

Could you just say you have a medical appointment and if pushed say it is gynaecological?

Gynaecological problems? Close enough to the truth and unlikely to cause further questioning. I don't advocate lying but I was the same in early pg, and I felt I had a right to keep it quiet until I was more confident that it would progress. If you feel you can tell your boss after your appt that will help as they have to give you paid time off.

Yes to "gynae" appt.
If your boss is male, that will stop the conversation dead in its tracks!

I'm in a really similar position. I told my boss the reason (in confidence) as then I was covered... in terms of Risk assessment and being able to take paid time off for appt, and pregnancy related sick leave not counting toward sickness absence (particularly if the worst were to happen again). Turns out for me that was quite needed, as although currently progressing ok, I have had to have 4 scans and 2 periods of heavy bleeding which have required me to take time off. I don't regret telling boss for reason I mentioned, although do feel a little pressured to tell colleagues now I am at 12 weeks.

Need to make decision best for you

Thanks yeah I definitely want to protect myself this time. Unfortunately when I had the miscarriage I told my boss and he told everyone else which I wasn't happy about so I don't want to be explaining myself again. I think the gynaecologist excuse would be the best idea I think because hopefully that will shut him down straight away.

I'm the only girl in the workplace too which doesn't help as there is very little empathy at times. I just hope everything goes well for us on Friday and then I won't be as panicked. I just want everything to go well and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to ensure that it does x