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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Single mothers to be

47 replies

Elkalv · 14/02/2017 21:23

Hi all single mothers looking for a bit of support and encouragement as it gets lonely and scary to do this alone. I am very happy to be pregnant and want this baby more than anything but I never expected to be a single mother. 3 months on it only all starts feeling real and panic sets in. Please share your positive stories if possible! Love to all mothers to be.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ColourfulOrangex · 21/02/2017 12:22

Thank you, I didn't suffer any sickness with my first, this one on the other hand ...they make us panic from day 1 don't they little monkeys x

ColourfulOrangex · 21/02/2017 20:22

I've just felt the first proper kick forgot how special it is, laying here with my hands on my belly and keep feeling the odd one

INeedNewShoes · 21/02/2017 21:44

Ah Colourful - that's really cool Enjoy it!

My baby is always head up so all the kicks I get are in my pelvis - not great for inviting anyone to feel the baby kick!

Original poster

Elkalv · 21/02/2017 23:12

Ah so you don't know boy or girl yet! Then it's super exciting for you) I know I am having a boy and very happy about it, but I haven't felt any movement. I start to obsess a bit trying to jump and drink cold water to see if that makes little one to move )

OP posts:

Geist · 21/02/2017 23:31

I was single from 5 months pregnant - have a dp now but don't live together or anything yet, once burned and all that.

Get as much support as you can from friends and family. Baby groups are hit and miss but does you good to get out of the house for an hour or so when it feels relentless.

I won't deny it's really, really hard at times but always remember they don't last and do what you need to to get through it. Dc was a horrendous sleeper through to about 1.5 yo and only really started sleeping through properly at 4 yo (sorry that's not really positive) That was the downside as I felt I could never get anyone to look after her overnight she was so attached to me.

However the positives are never having anyone to answer to. I can parent exactly how I want and we have a lovely bond -7 yo now. We can clash at times but she is a gem (smart, cute and funny but I'm biased), I've seen the majority of milestones myself, am there for her 100% and she knows it. I homestly wouldn't change a single thing for the world.

Best of luck to you all.

Karmaisabitch · 22/02/2017 14:31

Feeling a bit down today :(

After the issues with my ex (FOC), I spoke with the police to find out exactly what his reasons were for calling the police! After a chat, it seems he really isn't interested in being a father in the slightest, I understand it's for the best & I am moving on however a part of me kept a little glimmer of hope going.

Weirdly enough I then dreamt last night that I went to pick my stuff up from his house & his new gf was there!

I guess what I'm feeling now is simply the full effects of the complete end of my relationship & no chance of my son having his bio father around.

Sorry to moan, I just thought I had a chance at not being a complete single mum :(

Silly me for keeping some hope aye!

Hope everyone else is okay!

ColourfulOrangex · 22/02/2017 15:34

Sorry to hear that Karmaisabitch it's a hard time but you have that little boy who needs you so focus on him instead of the ex as much as you can (I know it's hard especially when you are on your own of a evening etc) and I know at the minute it's not much consolidation but it's better he has told you now he doesn't want to be involved with the baby instead of messing him around when he is born and gets bigger.

Don't apologise for moaning it's good you can come here and do it.

Karmaisabitch · 22/02/2017 17:26

I think because of the crappy weather (affects me quite bad), I've been feeling sorry for myself today.....decided to have a short cry & then move on.

Of course I haven't fully got over it in a few hours, however you are completely right.....my baby needs my full focus and attention

I always question why the hell I waste my time getting upset about a guy I was with for only 7 months! It's bloody stupid.

I'm trying my hardest to ignore the thoughts or pictures when they pop into my head....just taking time.

Is it normal to still feel a bit down after 3 months of him leaving??

Thank you for being patient & non judgmental

ColourfulOrangex · 22/02/2017 17:53

Everyone is entitled to feel down and have a cry, not only are you said for you you are sad for your son and you have all those extra pregnancy hormones to deal with.

I think it's normal to still have down moments after 3 months, I remember still having down moments about 6 months after my sons father left but knowing I had to keep going for him sort of gives you an extra bit of motivation...there is someone who can't look after themselves relying on you and you are going to be the most important person in that baby's life

Karmaisabitch · 22/02/2017 19:50

I was so proud of myself having not cried for weeks.

I do feel so upset for my son, that this wasn't his choice....his dad decided to be selfish.

Karmaisabitch · 22/02/2017 19:51

Apologies, posted too soon.

Again, I do agree with you. My son needs me now, I can't spend my life moping

ColourfulOrangex · 23/02/2017 10:40

How are you feeling today Karmaisabitch

Karmaisabitch · 23/02/2017 20:17

Better than I was yesterday! Sorry about that, was just feeling sorry for myself :/

I find I'm able to keep him out of my mind a bit longer than I used to.

Mums birthday tomorrow so going out tomorrow night.

Hopefully seeing a friend for a catch up tomorrow & seeing another friend next week....oh!! & my sister has nominated me to do pancake day lol.

How are you?? How's the pregnancy going??

Original poster

Elkalv · 23/02/2017 21:41

Karmaisabitch I understand you so well, i feel some days ok but then I read some articles about fatherless children and can not help but cry and feel guilty that my baby is not going to have a two parent family. I even worry that one day he will blame me for that. (( it sucks.. But i love this baby more than anyone and I will try to be best mother I can, so I hope it will be enough. And there are many woman that do it and many happy kids grow up with only mother present by choice or without. It's definitely better than growing in a family with parents fighting all the time. So I feel better.

OP posts:

Original poster

Elkalv · 23/02/2017 21:44

I hope your ex though do realise earlier rather than later that he is missing out on relationship with your and his kid, but you can not change or affect that. So for you I wish you move on and look at bright side and eventually you will meet some nice and loving guy to share your life with.

OP posts:

Original poster

Elkalv · 23/02/2017 21:46

Hi Geist thank you for sharing your positive experience! I think I was working so much over last few years that I almost lost contact with most of my friends. I think I will need to work on that)

OP posts:

Original poster

Elkalv · 12/03/2017 15:11

So how is everyone doing? Few babies are coming soon, hope you take it easy and relax before the storm. For me I am a bit after 20 weeks and finally I feel baby move regularly, every day now it's so nice. Though it was a bit creepy at first.

OP posts:

ColourfulOrangex · 16/03/2017 07:59

Hi just checking in to see how everyone is doing :)

ColourfulOrangex · 16/03/2017 08:09

Sorry elkalv I hadn't had a notification that you had posted recently :) I'm now 22weeks and a bit and love feeling baby move how are you doing?

Hitrouble · 16/03/2017 14:27

Hi,

I hope I can join in here. What a bunch of brave strong ladies. Colourfulorangex

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and I'm being induced at 38 weeks.

I have a little girl already and this little boy on the way. I've been single since about 8 weeks when I found out my boyfriend had cheated on me, with 3 other women. We've gone from being amicable, to him ignoring me completly, to him saying he doesn't think the baby is his (pot calling kettle black) to him causing arguments, me finding out he is previously know to SS for physical and emotional child abuse and domestic violence, then him ignoring all updates (including when baby was poorly, I've been in hospital a lot with this pregnancy!!) For 2 months, to him randomly contacting me demanding I answer his questions. So safe to say, I'm doing this alone! Although I'm happy to do it alone rather than with an abusive partner.

Does anyone worry about an ex causing stress and arguments once their baby is born? I've decided not to tell him the induction date and I won't tell him after he's born for a few days/a week because I really don't need that stress or pressure from him in the very beginning! It's so difficult to know what to do.

Hope everyone is feeling well!

ColourfulOrangex · 16/03/2017 16:14

Hitrouble wow sorry for what you are going through, it's hard doing it on your own let alone having to deal with an ex partner causing you unnecessary stress.

I can see why you don't want him to know the induction date, does he want anything to do with your baby once he is here?

ColourfulOrangex · 23/04/2017 08:28

Just thought I would check in and see how everyone is doing :)

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