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Pregnancy

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Original poster

C-section at 39+5 way too late?

27 replies

Cath31y · 13/02/2017 23:15

I don't know where to start! Sorry for the long post!

I had a very traumatic birth with my first child almost two years ago. I was rushed for a c-section as baby got stuck and had opened her bowels, was fully prepped etc in theatre. Last min turn of events, I had two failed ventouse and then a forceps delivery. Long story short, my episiotomy was huge and they totally botched me up. I was in significant pain afterwards, had an infection and it took me a long time to heal (emotionally still not there). My sex life has been very sad, perhaps been lucky to manage some sort of sex a handful of times (one of which led to me catching with this one) and was due to have an episiotomy repair to remove some.of the scarring.

I am.totally traunatised by it all, as well as other issues I had with the hospital's care which I won't bore you with but needless to say I am petrified. Not just of tearing again but the whole experience. All this was relayed to my consultant at 16 weeks who went through the risks of elec c-section. In meantime I have been offered no emotional support, have only seen my named midwife twice and all the midwives I have seen agree c section would be best. I am so anxious about it I can barely catch my breath at times, and im not sleeping.

Today my husband and I had a horrible appointment with the consultant at 34 weeks. She was quite frankly vile and bullying. Reluctantly she agreed after much discussion but initially booked me in for two days after baby's due date! My first baby arrived smack on her due date. After gurther discussion she changed this to just two days before due date.

I am a wreck and have not stopped crying today as convinced baby will come early, and I will be bullied into a vbac. She even said they would try to encourage this if i did go early. I cannot explain the amount of people I have tried to talk to today re it, inc midwives, the hospital and asking for second opinion. I was advised the other consultant is even more pro than this one and unlikely to bring date forward.

She made me feel like an awful person and mother. Im.well aware of the risks. Im a professional who assesses risk every day, ans usually totally rational. This is a block I cannot get passed. Ive weighed the risks and know I have made the right choice for me.

I just dont know what to do. Im convinced baby will come early

Please any advice or comments appreciated, but please no negative comments about my choice or trying to convince me.to have a vbac.

OP posts:

ExplodedCloud · 13/02/2017 23:19

Is there any other hospital you could switch to?

ExplodedCloud · 13/02/2017 23:21

Meant to say it sounds perfectly reasonable to want a cs btw! Sounds like you had a horrid time.

chatnanny · 13/02/2017 23:23

You could contact this charity for some help in dealing with your rights and for support:
www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

HelenDenver · 13/02/2017 23:24

Could one of the midwives who has seen you intervene?

Sorry that this is happening.

LauraPalmersBodybag · 13/02/2017 23:27

Op, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm afraid I have to make this quick, but could you afford a Doula? Dreadful that you should have to pay for an additional service to feel more at ease, but a great doula could really help assert your rights during birth and hopefully provide you and your partner with ongoing familiar support during and after the birth?

Wishing you all the best

farfallarocks · 13/02/2017 23:31

You are going to have to get very assertive. There is a new drive to book electives in no earlier than 39 weeks now due to the risk of lung immaturity. The stress they are causing you however is unacceptable. Where in the country are you? Are there other options? I think you need to make a complaint to the supervisor of midwives or head consultant and ask for their reassurance on the matter. You need
To be the squeaky oil. C sections are no picnic I reluctantly had one after a very tricky vaginal birth first time, it was dreadful
On paper however I was fine with it and found it easier to recover from than a perfect elective section. The trauma
You have suffered means you should
Absolutely be given reassurances that if you go into
Labour early you will be given a
C section! If you are in london I can highly recommend neighbourhood midwives to advocate on your behalf and provide the best post natal care and breastfeeding support that money can buy!

Gunpowder · 13/02/2017 23:32

I'm so sorry. What a horrible experience.

Is there a bigger hospital anywhere close by? One with a perinatal mental health team? It sounds like the current service is really failing in their care to you. If there is no other hospital I think I'd ask to speak to the supervisor of midwives and get them fighting your corner. Good luck.

farfallarocks · 13/02/2017 23:32

Squeaky wheel I mean !

Original poster

Cath31y · 13/02/2017 23:38

Thanks so much for all the response so far- will look into all your suggestions, I just feel so disempowered about it all . I am in South Wales. I have asked my midwife (who actually seems to understand my reasons far better than the consultant) if maybe I can go to another local hospital. She said she will make enquiries, but felt it was late in the day which I understand.
Thanks for not judging me on this. I know its not the easy way out by any means, but for me it really is the best of my options. I feel so irrational but I have been a wreck all day about it!

OP posts:

Wishforsnow · 13/02/2017 23:40

Are you in a position to go private? I don't mean getting nice food and a private room but you can go private purely for the op

Original poster

Cath31y · 13/02/2017 23:46

Hi, i was actually researching that tonight and sadly no, there is no way I could afford it.

OP posts:

Mummyme87 · 14/02/2017 07:43

Sorry to hear about your birth experience and lack of support during this pregnancy.
CS arent booked in before 39/40 unless there was a medical need to do so, ie. diabetes, SGA, PET etc. Maybe there isn't a slot before 39+5?

MrsMontgomerySmythe · 14/02/2017 07:54

I was booked in for a c-section (due to a small pelvis) but went into labour at 37 weeks. As the csection has been planned they simply did an emergency one.

We are abroad so maybe things are different in the NHS but can you not ask for a confirmation that they will still so a csection even if you go into labour? I would have thought there is a clear medial need as it would be in the best interests of your mental health.

Nan0second · 14/02/2017 08:01

It's not a vbac because you haven't had a caesarean before.
It's not unreasonable to have a caesarean this time. It would not be booked before 39 weeks.
Our hospitals (I work at 2 sites) Are rammed and quite often women are 39+3-5 before we can squeeze them in. If you Labour before, they will offer you a Caesarean section at that point.
It is not "too late".
Best wishes for your emotional recovery.

mistermagpie · 14/02/2017 08:38

You can switch hospitals. I did in my last pregnancy, I can't remember exactly when but it was after 30 weeks. Definitely look into that.

hopsalong · 14/02/2017 08:42

Hello OP. I'm coming at this from a different angle because I didn't go into labour naturally with my first (two weeks overdue despite trying everything known to the internet) and have little fear/hope of going into labour this time before my due date, given that it has also been moved 8 days forward from (certain) LMP dates.

I was talking to the obstetrician last week about whether to try VBAC or go for the ELCS and was emphasising that if I do have an ELCS I don't want it to be too early (ie at only 38 weeks by my LMP dates). She was completely on board with this and said how terrible it feels to deliver a baby who essentially has medically induced prematurity -- when a mother is having a healthy pregnancy and the baby is forced out too soon, with breathing and feeding problems etc.

Would it help to try to see it like this? i.e. it might be really bad for your baby (who might be destined to be a 42 weeker, you never know) to be forced out into world at 38 weeks or so. How would you feel if baby ended up having to stay in hospital etc, or couldn't feed? Breastfeeding also supposed to be easier if hormonal changes that precede birth happen naturally.

If you trust your hospital and don't think you will labour really really fast, can you also take comfort in idea that IF you present in natural labour at 38/39 weeks they will do a section anyway? This must happen for women who have a reason for a CS that hospital are convinced is absolutely medically necessary? e.g. with breech baby?

Sounds as if most of the distress is from you not having faith in your hospital, which is obviously tough. What have they said about what would happen if you arrive in labour?

olympicsrock · 14/02/2017 08:45

I was offered elective c section after traumatic emergency c section with first. I was very anxious and they got me in at 39+ 0 to compromise between my anxiety and baby's lung maturity. You should ask if there are earlier slots. Good luck x

DuggeeHugs · 14/02/2017 08:49

I can totally relate to your desperation for a CS and having to deal with an obstructive consultant causing huge upset. People on here advised me to go to the supervisor of midwives to advocate - could you try this too? You don't happen to be in the Midlands by any chance?

Original poster

Cath31y · 14/02/2017 10:00

Hi all

Sorry re VBAC, get my terminology confused as bit overwhelming!

It def isnt to do with there nlt being earlier slots. She called through in front of me to book and asked for arlund 25th March, which is due date, so not a week before. She then booked 27th! Then when I started to get upset reluctantly changed to 23rd. She said any earlier and she would be concerned re babys breathing and is that what I want... made me feel awful. I knew ut would be around 39 but it is so much later in week its like she us willing me to go before this date to try encourage a natural, ignoring how I feel about this and what panic I know I will go in to

Apparentlt if go early the hospital will assess the situation and encourage a natural birth but if not too far I can try fight the emegency section, but surely this is more stress for me and the baby than a planned

Sorry guys, feel so out of control with this. Will def look into the process of complaining or getting Advocacy as suggested, as it wales there seems to be slightly different proceudres etc

OP posts:

Lunalovepud · 14/02/2017 10:15

Oh op - I'm so sorry you are getting such crap support from your hospital...

The first thing to try is another consultant. Be assertive and don't taken no for an answer. Explain clearly that you want an earlier section date, or the reassurance that if you do go into labour early, you will get a section. This needs to be in writing, in your notes and all consent forms etc signed.

I made a proper PITA of myself with my consultant and unfortunately, you have to be prepared to do this. I had preeclampsia and when I was sobbing at my consultant to please cut my baby out because I was terrified he would suffocate, the heartless bitch walked off without listening or trying to reassure me, muttering about referring me to someone else.

I think some of them forget that they aren't actually God almighty and that you have a right to be part of the decision as to what happens with you and your baby and body.

Also speak to the supervisor of midwives and even your GP - your GP should be able to help with your anxiety at least.

Good luck OP.

InsaneMummyOfThree · 14/02/2017 10:38

Hi op. Wanted to comment as I was in a similar situation with my second. First was born by emergency c section afew a very traumatic failed induction. Felt so out of control and almost lost Dd. Second time round consultant was reluctant to give me a section and wanted me to try vbac. I was adamant that I was having a section as I was so scared of the trauma I'd been through, they tried everything but eventually booked me in at 39+2. On the day of the section I started having a panic attack as it suddenly dawned on me that I was putting my body through this major op. All went well but.... Something to consider is do u want any more children?? I went on to have a third and during this pregnancy I felt like I wanted to try a vba2c. When I saw the consultant they were adamant that a section was my only option.I stuck to my guns and they left me but that one ended in a semi emergency section. I'm now pregnant with number 4 and they won't even entertain a vba3c. I always look back and regret the planned c section as it's impacted so much on the other pregnancies. Obviously this is only my experience and thoughts. What I would say is if u definitely don't want to try vaginally be strong and get it in writing in your notes that in the event of you going into labour naturally you want a section. It's your body and no one can make you do anything you don't want to. X

CelticPromise · 14/02/2017 10:42

Please ask to make an appointment with a consultant midwife. I work in maternity care in s Wales and our cons mw would certainly support you. I'd complain about your consultant too.

SweepTheHalls · 14/02/2017 10:46

I really would say try not to worry about it. My elective section was booked for my due date, which really worried me but my consultant reassured me that if I went into labour earlier than that that I would be done immediately as an emergency section. You have the agreement, they will do the c section, it will be ok

Blossomdeary · 14/02/2017 10:47

I am sorry you have this anxiety on your plate.

My first delivery sounds similar to yours (40 years ago!) and like you I was left with a lot of damage after a traumatic delivery - huge tear plus episiotomy that caused rectal problems, with a forceps delivery at which the consultant had his feet on the end of the bed to provide counter-traction!

CS was a dangerous operation then, so this was not an option, unlike today when it is very safe.

However, what I wanted to tell you was that I went on to have two further children by normal vaginal delivery with no problem at all - and believe me I was pretty scared and anxious, as you can imagine. But I need not have been - they both came out very easily. I could hardly believe it!

So....if it comes to a vaginal delivery just relax and go with the flow - a bad first delivery does not mean that following ones will be the same.

Original poster

Cath31y · 14/02/2017 17:21

Thanks to everyone for your supportive comments. I just got off the phone to the Birth Trauma Association, and the lady was so helpful. Advised I write a letter to Consultant, copy in the head consultant and patient liason officer. She completely agreed with my concerns re them deliberately trying to do this too late and gave me lots of information which would challenge some of the statements the consultant made to make me feel guilty re the breathing difficulties etc....
Been upset again today but will try with a clear head tomorrow after work, and will find out names and addresses of where to send it. Will keep you posted

OP posts:

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