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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Family responses - anyone beat this?

47 replies

Moorhen · 25/02/2007 10:12

My horrible bitter grandmother (imagine Catherine Tate's Nan without the charm and tact) said, when I told her of my pregnancy: "OH NO! What about your job? How will you pay your mortgage?"
Did explain that I'm 31 with a good job (and very flexible employer), married to a man with a good job and that we would cope with this planned and much-wanted baby.
Then she's since moaned on to my mum that I'll never cope with a pram in my flat, and she doesn't approve of childcare. This from the least maternal woman on Earth!
And I now appear to be in disgrace, I think because I'm meant to be the Career Girl Grandchild. She's actually said to my sister (25) that maybe SHE should look after my baby instead. Which is kind of offensive to both of us...
It's actually so awful it's funny, and I suppose I shouldn't have expected any better from her really. She was similar with all three of my mum's announcements. And suggested she have an abortion with number three (my sister).
Anyone else got a similar or better tale of horror?

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washingqueen · 26/02/2007 13:37

This is my 2nd pregnancy...

MY dad's response..."congratulations; just what I need another bloody grandchild"

(is it my fault he had 6 children???)

FIL's response...."so, planning on following in your mother's footsteps then?"

(so my mum chose to have 9 kids...I haven't even got 2 yet)

Maybe I should post on the 'am I being unreasonable' thread?

washingqueen · 26/02/2007 13:42

BTW my sympathies to all with horrible families.....

Put spiteful comments down to jealousy (and possibly old age), ignore them, rise above it and carry on showing how 'fabulous' a specimen of woman/motherhood you are!

Creena · 26/02/2007 13:53

frazzledazzle - yes, they sound exactly alike! I can't figure out what the problem is either - DH and I told her we were going to try for another baby ages before we started ttc, we've been together for donkey's years and are happy and stable. This is a very much wanted baby, which will be born into a loving family and home. She just can't bring herself to be happy for us.

MILs, eh? Who'd have 'em?

peacemakeruk · 26/02/2007 14:00

When my mum found out I was trying for a baby with my new husband she told me she hoped to god I wouldn't get pregnant with 'his' baby. When I did get pregnant it was a very muted congratulations and since then I've barely heard from her, I'm 28 weeks now

ja9 · 26/02/2007 14:03

at op!

i didn't think there were grans like that?!

ShowOfHands · 26/02/2007 14:04

Oh Moorhen, sounds familiar. My grandma isn't necessarily rude on purpose but she is of her generation and is very blunt. When I told her I was expecting in May she said 'oh I'll be dead by then' (same thing she said when I told her I was getting married in May 2 years ago). When talking about whether we thought it was a boy or a girl she kept saying 'as long as it's a normal one, you don't want a mental baby' (SIL had a late miscarriage and was also told this was better than having a mental baby ). This is the woman that calls anybody who isn't white a Blackistani. Can't tell her because she's 83 you know and still has all her teeth (eh?).

phdlife · 26/02/2007 19:19

Since my mum said "Why are you doing this to me?!" when her fave daughter, my sister - age 26, married 3yrs - announced #1, I was well braced, but I got effusive congratulations.

Mind you, when I said I was happy about it, I just wished I had a job (going through severe job-loss depression at the time), she said I did have one - the job of being pregnant! And instead of worrying about working ever again (I'm 37, and I didn't get that PhD for fun), I and bad working-2-days-a-week sister should just "go without", like she did. Which would be fine if we didn't live in a 2-room rented flat. And if she hadn't whinged about not owning her own home for my entire life.

Still, I reckon Berolina's the winner.

Bucketsofdynomite · 26/02/2007 21:12

Am I right in thinking everyone's got an evil gran? I've met so many people with one (mine was apparently but before my time.)

washingqueen · 27/02/2007 09:45

OMG do you think that means we're pre-destined to become cantankerous old women?????

littlemisstickle · 27/02/2007 17:45

When I announced that I was pg with DC2, my mum said "Who's is it this time?"
I think she has forgotten she ever said such a thing, and is a fantastic grandmother, but I very much doubt I'll ever forget.....

Guitargirl · 06/03/2007 21:36

When I told one of my closest friends that I was pregnant, she asked if DP and I were going to get married before the birth, when I said no, her response: 'Oh nice, so your child will be a bastard then...'

Another acquaintance asked, 'what contraception were you using...'!?! (Pregnancy was planned)

MIL told me she was very happy but then added 'if only we could get DP to be happy about it now'.

sheepgomeep · 06/03/2007 21:58

I reckon your mate was just plain jealous guitargirl. What a horrible bitchy thing to say to you though.

My mum on this one due in may went dead silent, then I heard lots of huffing and puffing over the phone, then 'oh dear oh dear this isn't good at all is it. I take it it wasn't planned and those other two grandchildren of mine will suffer because you couldn't keep your legs together with HIM.

She hates my dp and has said awful things about him. He isn't the father of my other two and she was over the moon about them.

She's come round a bit now and is a bit more positve although her and dp are still uneasy with each other.

My dad will still not acknowledge that i'm pg though....

DaisyMOO · 06/03/2007 22:01

My mum just cried I was 21, in the middle of a degree and unmarried. To be fair, she did come to terms with it pretty quickly and when I got pregnant with ds3 I was the one crying and she was comforting me

sheepgomeep · 06/03/2007 22:21

that reminds me of when I was pg with ds at 21. My mum was shocked but pleased but as time wore on she got more obsessive and unreasonable. xp and I were living together in his mums house at the time and it was cramped but we were in the process of sorting our own living arrangemnts and we were doing ok. My mum would go on and on about where we living(she'd moved back down to sussex 2 years before) and kept saying 'i'm not having any grandchild of mine being brought up with his family ' Then unbelievably she threatened to arrange to have me kidnapped at the end of my pg because it was in my best interests and she also wanted an english not a welsh grandchild.

She is slightly loopy my mother. She didn't get on very well in wales.. she acted too posh and stuck up lol. Didn't stop her moving back though the day ds was born and then had the cheek to ask me if I could insist on getting induced 3 days before so she wouldn't get stressed on the day she moved

kathrynharriet · 06/03/2007 22:30

Hi, when my dp told his mother we were expecting baby no3, she said "oh no what did you do that for" !!!!
As she doesn't help at all with the other 2 I couldn't believe it! She has three children, which i pointed out! She has come round a little but is still negative in her view of the pg. But hey what are MIL for apart from making stupid comments!

Guitargirl · 06/03/2007 22:34

Sheepgomeep at your Mum!!

shimmy21 · 06/03/2007 22:41

my dad's reaction to being told he was going to be a grandfather was 'oh!'

That was it. Never another word.

BadHair · 06/03/2007 22:49

Not as bad as most of these stories, but my mum was less than thrilled when dh (still dp then) announced our news. She did congratulate us, but then rang us later to say that she was worried that we wouldn't be able to cope, what with not being married and living in a rented flat down in London. She neglected to remember that we were both 29 and in very well paid jobs at the time!
She soon got over it and is a fab grandma, but it does still rankle now and again.

sweetkitty · 06/03/2007 22:52

I know I will face all the snidy comments if I get pregnant with number 3, here's some of mine so far (from my mother)

what did you go and do that for? (get pregnant with DD1) as I had a degree and a career (thats she knows nothing about and has always dissed)
oh well you don't care as much with your first (when DD1 wasn't a precious DS)
I'm not that bothered I know you'll have a third (when DD2 was a DD)
when I said I have something to tell you (pregnant with DD2 when DD1 was 9 months old) she said oh don't tell me and the look on her face was priceless so I turned around and said we are delighted and if you aren't too I don't want to hear it!
well it's a mistake then (DD2) erm no she was planned

from MIL

tell my son to control himself (erm I said well actually it was me that needed to control myself that shut her up pretty fast
SIL asked what she should get DP for Christmas MIL replied "some condoms" yea 2 children in 12 year we don't have a clue about contraception

Oh I could be here all night, my Mum is very old fashioned in that she has never worked, does all the housework and think women are only real women if they give birth to sons wtf?

Chocolate1000 · 06/03/2007 22:54

My DD's paternal grandmother said she was 'too young' to be a grandmother - she was 55 - I later worked out that I was actually a year older than she was when she had my ex-DP and pointed this out to her.

lol

fireflyfairy2 · 06/03/2007 23:01

With my first, my mum said "Oh XXXX, I thought you were on the pill!"

With 2nd she was lovely, she guessed as I had been sick, but MIL was the cow that time, she said "Oh, how am I going to explain this to dd" [Dh's sis has fertility probs]

Tallie11 · 07/03/2007 08:28

My ''Mother in law''(we are not married) reaction upon finding out about our pregnancy, was to politely congratulate us, and then to privately call her son that evening to say, I do not wish to have an illegitimate grandchild!!

I am due next Wednesday and I'm happy to say she is being more supportive.

love Tallie xx

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