Distraught after miscarriage

Cocoabean25 · 2017-01-18T22:31:31+00:00

Hi everyone, Two weeks ago I miscarried and I still feel really upset and hurt about it all. It was my first pregnancy and I was 6 weeks and 3 days gone. I'm feeling emotionally and physically drained and am constantly thinking over and over whether I did something wrong. I started to get symptoms about 2 weeks after conception and although I didn't know for sure what was happening then I had a pretty good idea so had that chance to build a bond with the baby. I feel so lost and lonely and although my boyfriend is being really lovely I'm still finding everything really hard to come to terms with. Does anyone have any encouraging words on how to deal with this? Thank you xx

Whatsername17 · 19/01/2017 06:05

When I miscarried last year I found the miscarriage forum on here helpful. I was 13 weeks and had kept my positive pregnancy tests and I had a scan photo, albeit of my baby who wasn't alive anymore. I put them inside a 'make your own' teddy bear. When ever I feel particularly down I give it a cuddle and let myself sob. It helps. Sorry you are going through this. The honest answer is just do what you need to do. I was in your position this time last year. I got pregnant again and I'm due on Friday. Don't give up hope

Umblubblub · 19/01/2017 06:36

Coco, I'm sorry for your loss. I've had 2 early mc so I know how you feel. The emptiness and loneliness is a dreadful feeling. You are allowed to grieve for your loss, be kind to yourself.
It wasn't your fault, it was nothing you did or didn't do. Six to eight weeks are the most common weeks for pregnancies to fail, its mother natures way of saying there's a problem and the pregnancy can't continue. It's completely beyond your control, and happens in 1 out of every 5 pregnancies.
I found it very hard to talk about in RL so I used a 'Coping with miscarriage' forum on an app called Babycentre. It got me through some dark times.
I am now 28 weeks pregnant with my second, so don't give up hope.

ConvincingLiar · 19/01/2017 07:00

It is sad and you're allowed to feel sad. Nevertheless, it's very common. It's not your fault, you couldn't have prevented it. Perhaps ask friends in rl for support.

eastcoastmum2014 · 19/01/2017 08:42

Oh hun, its normal to feel this sad, and its normal to blame yourself but its not your fault! As people have said losing a baby between 5 and 8 weeks is common and mother natures way of saying there was a problem and the baby wouldn't have made it. Mother nature is very cruel! Please don't give up though! I lost my second child at 6 weeks last year after a normal pregnancy with my DD, I never thought it would happen to me, but it did and it knocked me for 6! Take time to grieve, cry, eat chocolate - do whatever you need to do, time is a great healer. Its important to remember this isn't the end of the line. I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant with my DS and my sister in law who miscarried her first pregnancy now has two strapping, healthy boys! Sending big hugs

Lucinda15 · 19/01/2017 09:15

So sorry for ur loss. I've been through it, and do understand everything he going through. I found a lot of support over on the miscarriage chat threads in body & soul. Take care of urself x

Original poster

Cocoabean25 · 19/01/2017 18:49

Thanks for all your lovely messages. Finally taken some time off work today to try and get some rest. The feelings of loneliness and emptiness and definitely horrible. My boyfriend said he's feeling a bit less sad today which made me feel sort of angry because it makes me feel like I'm going through this even more alone. It's very hard and I know I need time to grieve. I like the teddy bear idea and have been looking at miscarriage jewellery as I think it would be nice to have something physical to remember them by.

OP posts:

V139217 · 19/01/2017 20:30

cocoa bean. . so sorry for your loss. I mc last year and have a little teardrop charm on my bracelet to remember him by.. it helps as I wear it every day and can touch it when I'm feeling down. When my due date came round we planted a small tree in our garden, again it gives me much comfort.
3 months after my mc i was still really struggling and went for counselling. Just one session and it really helped, I dont know why this isnt offered as standard to all parents. One year on and I still think about my baby a lot (and have a good cry when I need to).
Be kind to yourself xx

V139217 · 19/01/2017 20:30

cocoa bean. . so sorry for your loss. I mc last year and have a little teardrop charm on my bracelet to remember him by.. it helps as I wear it every day and can touch it when I'm feeling down. When my due date came round we planted a small tree in our garden, again it gives me much comfort.
3 months after my mc i was still really struggling and went for counselling. Just one session and it really helped, I dont know why this isnt offered as standard to all parents. One year on and I still think about my baby a lot (and have a good cry when I need to).
Be kind to yourself xx

V139217 · 19/01/2017 20:30

cocoa bean. . so sorry for your loss. I mc last year and have a little teardrop charm on my bracelet to remember him by.. it helps as I wear it every day and can touch it when I'm feeling down. When my due date came round we planted a small tree in our garden, again it gives me much comfort.
3 months after my mc i was still really struggling and went for counselling. Just one session and it really helped, I dont know why this isnt offered as standard to all parents. One year on and I still think about my baby a lot (and have a good cry when I need to).
Be kind to yourself xx