Following on from mother in laws.....what about mothers???

[onebigmumma]

I have just finished reading a previous thread about MIL's coming to stay as soon as your baby arrives home.....completely understand that everyone agrees that this is unacceptable but what about this....

I am living abroad and really looking forward to the birth of our first child due around 6th April...only six weeks to go!!

My Mum has booked her flights already - arriving on 25th March and leaving around a month later....I am becoming more and more worried that this is not a good idea (didn't get much of a say anyway!!) and that it should be a time for just me, husband and baby.....

Has anyone else had to 'put up & shut up' or have they spoken out and said 'NOOOOO!'and then been the evil daughter?!!

Oh, what to do!!???

Fantastic line to use to wriggle out of it Benson - wow, must remember to come to you next time I have a "how to break it to someone gently" dilemma!

Goodness, quite a mixture of replies and all of them are appreciated....

Am really unsure as to the best route to take - she would be so upset if I was to put her off at this late stage(first grandchild - shes been waiting for years!!)so may have to get on with it - I'm no wilting flower so will probably have my say if it gets out of control....especially when all those hormones are jumping around!!!

Then again.... I may decide tomorrow that it's all too much....

......oh, what fun lies ahead.....

onebigmumma - your baby could be 2 weeks late in which case your mum might only have one week with the baby

i have asked my mum to come up for a week after baby born (she lives about 250 miles away) we get on very very well and she is a bit of a baby expert. she runs the baby room at a nursery. both my sisters had her to stay for a week too when they had their first and said it was great. she isnt pushy at all. will stand back anad let you get on with it re baby but will help and give advice when asked (wont just try and take over). she will do shopping cooking etc too. so i think dh will be back at work almost straight away but will take some leave when mum goes home.
however there is no way i would have mother in law to stay! she is one of those who thinks she knows everything best and would fuss. tell me what to do and prob rearrange my kitchen cupboards because "things are in the wrong place" i would go mad!!

My mum is in Australia and when I was first pregnant (with my first) I was desperate to have her here for the birth, but it later transpired that she was not prepared to fly over on her own ( I can't really blame her for this as she is in her sixties and has some nasty health issues recently) and wanted both her and her husband to stay with us for up to a month before and afterward. I was in bits about it for ages but when she rang when I was ten weeks pregnant to ask how soon my first scan was as they wanted to get their senior saver flights booked and her husband was already getting out travel brochures it was kind of the last straw that made me take action. I saved up every bit of tact I had and told her that if she and her DH wanted a holiday they should probably book it irrespective of our due date and maybe if they were somewhere close by at the time the baby arrived it would be lovely to see them, but on no account could I have both of them staying at such a delicate time. I pulled out the problems with sharing a bathroom with her DH just after giving birth (nightmare scenario) and with our having a small flat in London and not many hidey corners like in their big house in Qld. I think she almost wanted permission to say that she wouldn't come if she couldn't come with her DH flying the holiday colours because she was quick to accept my decision. It was strangely disappointing because I think secretly I had hoped she would see that she was not really "getting" why I might want her here - i.e. a bit of maternal love and support in a difficult time.

I'm from South Africa and my MIL came to stay with us a week after our DD birth. I was glad she came as she cleaned my house for me and cooked dinner for us. As for my mum, she couldn't get off work so couldn't visit her firts grandchild. I was so sad. Cried for one whole day - missing my mum. Let your MIL help you with everyday things such as the cooking, washing, ironing. there'll be plenty of time for you to bond as mother-baby-hubby.