Telling the teenage stepdaughters?

[lilachaze]

Has anyone experience of telling teenage step daughters about your pregnancy?

Is it best for their dad to tell them, or us both?

The SD live with us both permanently & are (a difficult) 15 & 13.

No experience but I think together, if he tells them himself it is inconsistent with the two of you as a parenting unit. He could always speak to each one alone after to reassure them that he'll always love them, baby will look up to their big sisters etc.

Do you have a good relationship with them normally?

Hopefully someone with more experience can advise. Congratulations!

Thanks!
I have a good relationship with the 13 yo & think she will be excited.
The 15yo is hit & miss ... she is currently very challenging so concerned how she will take it.

I would think the longer you put it off, the worse it will be and the more challenging she will be.

I think telling a DSD will always be very, very hard. I have always let DH do it on his own.

I have 3 step children we told them together when we were expecting our first amd theywere all very excited helped chooes the name ect they are 13 11 and 10 im now pregnant with our second and they are as excited never any problems they love there little brother I do have a great relationship with them all as have been in their lives since they where much younger I think it all depends on how well you get along and treat them all the same even when new baby arrives congratulations hope all goes well

Maybe you could word it slightly different too. Rather than, "we're having a baby" word it to include them "you're both going to be big sisters to our new baby" and reaffirm with "another baby". I bet at that age they will love the news.

Thanks! Defo think the wording is a good idea.

We will tell them first, but after the scan as my first pregnancy ended in mc, so I'm a bit nervous until I can actually see reality!

If you can afford it, I'd consider asking if they'd like to come to a scan (and paying to have one privately). I don't think the NHS ones are a spectator sport, but a private one can accommodate supporters. It might make them feel a bit more involved.