are you still buying bottles and formula if planning to breastfeed?

[topaz22]

or a bottle making kit? also i've heard you don't need to sterilise breastfeeding bottles and equipment. not sure what to buy

hod should I have let my baby die instead? Would that have suited your ideals? I did not 'pump 6oz of formula' in to my daughter. As guided by medical staff she HAD to have formula or she WOULD have DIED! Don't comment about situations you know nothing about! My breast feeding situation was totally guided by health professionals and breast feeding professionals. I am totally aware that breast feeding takes a while to establish but in my case it was not progressing and baby was suffering but again maybe I should have just not fed her. I also didn't alwayd feed her organic food, and she still co-sleeps! Want to insult any more of my parenting choices?

Breast is best fanatics certainly do look down at those who bottle feed. I have been discriminated against a few times. It's disgusting. Considering women who breast feed claim that they are discriminated against themself you'd think they'd be more understanding.

Although I am absolutely petrified to do so, I will be breast feeding again. I really hope that it's easier next time but if it's not I will give formula because I (unlike you) want my baby to survive!

you missed the bit of my case where i said 'special cases aside'

I am sorry you have taken this as a personal attack in which you think I want your baby not to survive.

Calm down, and read what I wrote. Most people don't care what you do with your child, I am allowed to post on this thread without you taking offence and coming out with ludicrous leaps based on something you think I said or think.

hod I didn't miss it. Regardless of whether it was aimed at me or not no mother should be made to feel that their choices are wrong, which is what you are saying.

Most mothers who choose to bottle feed or fail at breast feeding are already putting enough pressure without others saying thay they should only bottle feed in special circumstances.

OP-

I am planning to breast feed and express breast milk so my husband can help with the night time feeds so we have bottles and a pump already. By the way, you absolutely have to sterilize bottles even when serving expressed breast milk.

We have a couple of bottles of pre-made formula in case it takes a while for my milk to come in or in case I have to miss a feed due to ill health etc. The most important thing for us is the baby gets fed.

I echo what Sycamore said: I find it strange that people who are often against controlled crying can advocate ever leaving a newborn infant, hungry, distressed and crying.

While I am sure some women will struggle with supply and can have their supply damaged by missing feeds, there are numerous studies showing that nipple confusion isn't a real thing and that it is entirely possible in the long term to mix breast feeding and formula feeding (though that's not my intention). The studies are in a great book called Bumpology.

Reading those studies combined with two of my friends personal experiences have made me much more relaxed about using a bit of formula if I feel the baby needs it early on despite my desire to breast feed.

Good luck figuring out what the best approach is for you.

i didn't say that either, but your derailment of this thread is enough to close down any further advice/discussion. Well done.

I said that if you wish to establish breastfeeding then it's not helpful to have a fall back of formula as it's really difficult to establish and there is a lack of realistic advice about how to establish it, if you find someone who has BF successfully and can say 'yes, all day for 3 days solid is within the bounds of normal' or whatever then that's probably more helpful to you than giving 6oz of formula as you don't believe that it can be possible to feed so much for so long...
Special cases would be things like low blood sugars, no milk coming in or something else (can't think what right now but it makes no odds to you) a friend recently was keen to BF and she couldn't, literally couldn't, no milk came in, at all. She did what she could and is at peace with not breastfeeding because it's what was best for her and her son at the time.
Nobody cares, it's such a short period of time, reacting the way you have is ridiculous, really. It's just milk.

I really dislike it when people try to qualify statements with 'in special cases'.

Teletubbies I had a really similar experience to you and was also expressing every 2h day and night for months, as well as trying to bf. I didn't make enough milk for my baby as I was ill. She also had tongue tie and latch was awful initially. I just don't know what else I could have done to bf. I had heaps of support from mw, bf counsellors, LLL, HV etc. But if you can't make the milk you're stuck really aren't you.

Maybe I'm a 'special case'. But maybe I'm not - maybe I'm just another one of the thousands of mums who were desperate to bf but had to take the decision not to, for the good of their baby's health or their own mental or physical health. I'm so so grateful for the bf support i received, but to be honest I'm even more grateful for formula as that is what has enabled my daughter to live.

I second the advice about reading up on it beforehand! I went to bf classes pre birth but was clueless about formula feeds and it's not a time to be reading small print!!

I didn't with my first....and my bf plan failed badly. My dh had to buy bottles coming up to visit me (they provided the milk and not the bottles) and my mum gave me a microwave steriliser which didn't fit in the microwave!!

I panicked like mad that night, and dh had to leave first thing the next morning to buy everything we needed.

So with number 2, I bought everything just in case. He ended up being bottle fed anyway as he had cmpa

Hod I got what you meant in your post and my friends who have established breast feeding did say they were shocked by how much time breastfeeding takes in the early days so I think its helpful to share that info.

I do think there is a lot more judgement and stigma than you are acknowledging though about not breastfeeding and any unintentional suggestion that someone may simply not have tried hard enough can really be quite painful.

I have friends who couldn't breastfeed and wanted to and it can cause a lot of emotion so perhaps it would be a bit more humane just to try to see your comment from the other side's perspective?

I don't know anyone who really wanted to exclusively breastfeed but who used formula because they thought the baby wanted too much milk even though their supply was high enough to provide that milk. The idea is pretty absurd.

Supply and feeding issues that the mother feels will harm / distress the baby are pretty much the only reason why those keen to exclusively breastfeed use emergency stashes of formula.

I'd do your research in advance - figure out where you can buy the little bottles of ready-made formula, where you can buy bottles and newborn teats, and where you could get hold of a sterilizer (and that it fits your needs, like fitting into your microwave etc). Give your partner/parents/whoever is likely to be buying them a list of what to buy and where (include photos of specific things if you need to).

If you can get all of those in your local 24-hour supermarket, then you don't need to worry too much about getting them in advance (though it might be worth buying a couple of bottles of ready-made formula, and some baby bottles which can also be handy if you want to express later on - keep the box sealed and you can always take them back).

If the nearest shop is half an hour away and only open 9-5, then you'll need to buy a bit more in advance (you don't really need a sterilizer at first; you can use boiled water - check online for guidelines). Bear in mind that you can return things like bottles if they're sealed in the box.

It's better to have the stuff in and not need it, than to need it but not have it there.

I got in bottles and a steriliser all three times but never formula.

We bought the starter set for our daughter, we used them for one feed a day as BF was so painful. She had about 6 tiny bottles in all and finished breastfeeding age 2. It's easy to say 'just pop to Tesco' but with a hungry and possibly distressed baby and mum it's not so simple. My poor husband had to go on a Sunday nipple shield search and it was a nightmare- I would get what you may need and return or pass on if not needed.

I of course cried when giving the first bottle and thought I was giving in to temptation. I loved bf and think it's great but hate the idea that using formula is some kind of failure. The language a lot of people use on the internet is really unhelpful, and makes you feel like shit especially when post partum and hormonal.

nod no derailment. Conversation has moved on, as does life.

London thank you for being the voice of reason for both sides. I'm not sure I agree with your comment on nipple confusion as I don't know much about it. However when we introduced a bottle at 2 weeks (I hand fed formula from a cup until then) DD would happily switch from breast to teat with no problems.

Crumpets I'm sorry to hear you had a tough time too. It really has damaged my confidence and judgmental comments don't help. I also don't like the 'special' statement either. I do however feel that I have to defend my reasons (even though DD is now 2)

The purpose of my story was to share my experience. A lot of people think that breast feeding is black and white. Unfortunately there is a lot of grey area. I certainly would feel much more comfortable if I had some bottles and formula stashed in the cupboard. Although I am absolutely dreading it I will try my hardest (again) to breast feed DC2.

If you plan to breastfeed I don't think you need to buy bottles, steriliser the whole shebang in advance as it would be pricy and you may well not need it all. The newborn starter kits with the ready made formula and the pre sterilised teats are probably all you need. You can't muck those up when sleep deprived and it saves waste if you don't need the formula or just need to do a few top ups. They only cost about a tenner and would tide you over until you could get to a shop to buy further supplies if needed.

Ds was given all his formula in hospital as he was born showing signs of infection and had low blood sugar. He was tube fed formula in scbu. I hand expressed colostrum and was pumping every 3 hours but my milk didn't come in until day 5 (I think the emergency c-section delayed it) and so he had to be topped up with formula until I could express enough to give him. As he was poorly he was rubbish as feeding, he would latch but refused to suck! Once we got home on day 8 we managed to move ds onto the breast and off bottles with a bit of perseverance! He is still ebf now at 6.5 months.

I really think having the starter kit is a good idea. It gave me peace of mind to know that come what may I could feed my baby. In my post c-section, post scbu state I could not have coped with ds screaming with hunger whilst DH spent hours locating and sterilising bottles and formula. I barely coped with walking down the stairs!

Teletubbies, I had a similar experience to you. I wanted to breastfeed but despite my efforts (pumping round the clock, drugs from the GP, specialist advice etc) I just didn't make very much milk. After five weeks of driving myself mad, I accepted that it was time to move to formula and I haven't looked back. I find the whole pro-breastfeeding establishment very hard to cope with - the implication is always that anyone who isn't breastfeeding has chosen not to and that really isn't the case.

I actually think what would be much more helpful than advice not to have formula in the house to "avoid temptation" would be more realistic advice about what to expect in the early days of establishing breastfeeding.

Frankly it's crap that there seems to be a culture of "tell women the good bits about breastfeeding, leave them in the dark about formula and hope that they'll keep BFing through the tough bits because it's too hard to get to the shops or read up on formula."

In our NCT classes we were shown some completely idealistic videos about breastfeeding which made the whole thing look easy and joyous from the moment of birth onwards, and absolutely nothing about basic formula prep hygiene/safety.

In hindsight I think I did jeapordise my supply by offering formula on the days when DS was screaming for more milk every time I took him off the breast - that's when I probably needed to persevere to establish my supply. But no-one told me that (despite having lots of advice). Everyone said 'if it hurts you're doing it wrong' - no-one said 'actually yeah it can hurt in the early days, but it gets better'.

I bought a pump and bottles but no formula. I started expressing pretty much from day 1 and built up a nice freezer stash so DH or a babysitter could do the odd feed or if I was sick or whatever. It also saved my bacon when I went back to work after 6 months. Bfed DD til she was nearly 2, never used formula.

Alice unfortunately that is everyone's first assumption. I was with a friend one day who was breast feeding and I was bottle feeding. This woman walked up to us and looked me right in the eyes and said "it's nice to see someone feeding their baby the proper way" then turned to my friend and said "well done". Broke my heart because I'd just given up and was feeling very sensitive about it.

Bub I agree. I wish someone would have warned me about the bleeding nipples and how to let down my boobies 🙈

I would second the starter kit, they are only about £7 and give you enough for a few feeds. If feeding doesn't work then it'll be the middle of the night when you are exhausted and having to wait with a crying hungry baby to go to the shops or work out instructions for bottles, steriliser etc, just screw top on starter bottle and feed baby and sleep and reasses breastfeeding with a clearer head later.
I used for dd1 no need with dd2 but did manage to pass on the kit to someone else who was pregnant so not wasted

Actually that's great advice about the pre-made starter kits. It is t a huge investment and will see you set for a few days.

What I've never understood about the 'just persevere' school of breastfeeding advice is how to do that when the baby simply won't latch. Each time mine fed beautifully in hospital and I went home brimming with confidence. Then massive engorgement kicked in, babies couldn't latch despite me pre-expressing, etc, and they would get increasingly upset when I tried to latch them. Fortunately for me formula often calmed them enough to then try to latch again a little later but not always. I did indeed persevere through the pain, blood blisters, cracked nipples, one bout of mastitis, one of thrush, and other various challenges I've now forgotten but every day I give thanks to the scientists who develop safe, nutritious infant formula that allowed my babies full tummies and calm sleep.