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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

I really hate perineal massage, does it really make a difference?

25 replies

Bumbleclat · 23/12/2016 05:47

Just that really.
I have tried doing it. DH did it to me which was just gross.
Is it really as essential as my MW And the books are making out?

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Mrscog · 23/12/2016 05:50

No, I don't think it makes any difference- tearing is almost inevitable. I think listening to the midwife during pushing is more important.

annlee3817 · 23/12/2016 05:52

I did it, and still had a small tear. If you're not happy doing it then stop. It's not an easy thing to do and I would have also hated my DH doing it for me

Original poster

Bumbleclat · 23/12/2016 05:52

Thank you! I just can't bring myself to do it!

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Mrscog · 23/12/2016 05:57

I should have added I did some and still ended up with large 2nd degree tear. But it was nowhere as big a deal as I thought - didn't feel it happen, and I was lucky as it all healed nicely and quickly. Getting the stitches done was the worst bit - sort of tickly and stingy at the same time!

ladybird69 · 23/12/2016 06:06

Mum to 4, ranging from 7 and a half pounds to 9 and a half pounds, it makes no difference, if you don't like it don't do it.

MuggleWuggle · 23/12/2016 07:02

I didn't do it and didn't tear with either baby

Prettybaffled · 23/12/2016 07:07

I also hated it and didn't do it!

The only way to know if it works is to look at the stats - some here:
www.scienceandsensibility.org/blog/what-is-the-evidence-for-perineal-massage-during-pregnancy-to-prevent-tearing

If you did it an average of 1.5 times per week it seems to reduce tearing by 17%. Average reduction of risk for all message was 10%

My best friend did it and only had one stitch. I didn't and had a rather nasty tear which required a lot of stitching. Luckily I don't have any ongoing issues from the tear.

If I had my time again I would grit my teeth and do it once a week.

sweetkitty · 23/12/2016 07:08

If you don't want to do it don't I think the idea sounds terrible last thing I wanted to do when that pregnant.

FWIW my first was only 6lbs 3ozs but was born with her hand up past her ear like superman, tore me pretty bad. Second was 9lbs 3ozs didn't even have s graze.

BearGryllsHasaBigRope · 23/12/2016 07:09

I didn't do it at all, and didn't tear with any of my three (largest was 8lb 6).

SchnitzelvonKrummsverylowtum · 23/12/2016 07:12

I didn't do it and had only minor grazing with my two, with no stitches needed. If you don't like it don't do it - I think as pp have said listening to the midwife when pushing is probably more important.

ginauk84 · 23/12/2016 07:15

I did it and didn't tear.

Prettybaffled · 23/12/2016 07:18

Schnitzel I did listen but still tore. Took quite a while to heal so if I had my time again I would rather have done a bit of grim massaging once or twice a week than have the post birth pain.

Original poster

Bumbleclat · 23/12/2016 07:28

Hmm it sounds like it's not an exact science anyway then...

Thank you, wish me luck @ 40+3

OP posts:

LikeaSnowflake · 23/12/2016 07:30

I didn't do this and had no tearing or stitching.

My DD was 8 pound 10 so not small. I did follow what the midwife said about pushing as her head was delivered. I believe this made a difference.

SVJAA · 23/12/2016 07:31

I didn't do it, 3 births, one footling breech and no tears.

clarinsgirl · 23/12/2016 07:38

Slightly off track here but I remember talking to a guy who specialises in pre-natal massage. He told me that he offered perineal massage. I could not hide my face. WTF? I'd rather tear.

Original poster

Bumbleclat · 23/12/2016 07:43

Eugh clarinsgirl that's shudder-worthy! I love my husband to the end of the world and am in no way a prude but him giving me the PM was really rather disturbing and something I'll never want to repeat!

OP posts:

gunting · 23/12/2016 07:46

I tried it and ended up with a 2nd degree tear. My son was 10lb 6 though I'm not sure if that would make a difference. It wasn't so bad though and healed quickly.

Best of luck!

Tubbyinthehottub · 23/12/2016 07:52

Oh god, no. I did not fancy doing that at all! I didn't and had no tears.

WiIdfire · 23/12/2016 08:03

If you dont like it, dont do it. I did, and had no tear with an 11lb2 baby, so tearing is not inevitable as someone said earlier.

Whatsername17 · 23/12/2016 08:26

I had a small graze with my first dd and didn't do this at all. Never heard of It infact! When you get to the pushing point, your midwife will ask you to stop once baby's head has come out so that he/she can turn the baby. I think following this is more likely to help you avoid tearing. My dd was 7lb15oz so a good weight.

Prettybaffled · 23/12/2016 10:03

Stats show on average it helps. Of course people who don't do it also won't tear. But on average it reduces your risk. This is why they recommend it.

I didn't do it because I hated it. However you can't deny there is proof it works.

ALongTimeComing · 23/12/2016 13:59

I did it pretty religiously and no tears from me, midwife also "held" the skin as baby was crowning. Yes it is absolutely cringey having husband do it but it's worth it.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 23/12/2016 14:09

Didn't do it and no tears or grazes.

I guess what will be will be!

If you hate it, stop. Every birth is different, some are more problematic than others, I don't really think there's much you can do to mitigate it either way.

dottydee3 · 23/12/2016 15:15

No, I didn't do it and no tearing (2 vaginal deliveries)
Have a water birth and don't push, you'll be fine!

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